Are parents stricter with girls dating than guys?

Question

I am 20 and my brother is 22. We both live with our parents. I've always had very strict rules about dating (from my father)... a firm curfew, no touching while in the house, and he can't stay past 2am. There was one instance when I had a sleepover with a group of friends (boys included)... my guy friend and I ended up falling asleep SITTING UP on the couch with his arm around me. When my dad found us, he woke us up and didn't allow any more sleepovers (unless the boys slept in the basement and the girls slept upstairs).

Well my brother just got a girlfriend. She lives out of town and in November, she's going to be staying with us for a few days. I brought up to the family "she's not going to be sleeping in Brother's room, is she?" and there was no answer. I said again "He's getting the same rules as me, right?" And finally my dad said "It's different with him."

Well I'm really irritated about this. Do you think this makes sense? Note that I'm a virgin (by choice) and my parents know this.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the answers! Just recently, I've come to understand how my parents feel, because my best friend just got into her first relationship and I'm acting very, very protective of her haha. Odd comparison, but whatever hahaha.

Anyways, I won't have to deal with this for long since I'm moving out this summer. But it's good to know they care. :)

Frostie · Accepted Answer

"double standard" not at all. Treat a cat like you treat a dog. Men can do things women can't, because men wont' be stuck with the kid. the situation isn't the same. In that case, if the guy who knocks you up decides to screw off, well guess who has to pay for it, your parents! yay.. so you bet like hell they're going to hold you down and keep you from doing things MEN Do. because men have the choice of not sticking around, which women need to be more careful with which douchebag they decide to shag with,and pray he doesn't decide "i'm tired of this bullsh*t".

Get irritated by it all you want. But unless you want to be treated equal to men, meaning equally being hit when you throw a punch, don't ask for equality. Unless you plan to take on the weight of a guy, don't ask for it. This is especially the rule for military women who always have that cry for 'equality', yet they never want to carry their own weight,or run 6minute mile times, because they aren't 'able' due to physical differences. With that said, accept that we're different and accept that the roles each gender has is different. If you want some pseudo science to tell you equality, go join the left wing in politics. They tend to do this often with every different group in the world.

*note- this doesn't mean to disrespect women,however, if you want to be like men, prepare to start puttin on some muscle and looking like these er.. "ladies?" link

aMuse · Accepted Answer

I never had any dating rules other then don't get anyone pregnant. =P Girls could come over and hang out at the house which they did regularly, but if I was going to screw around with them I'd usually go somewhere else unless I knew I had the house to myself. When it came to things like curfews, when I was in middle school I think my curfew was 11 PM or midnight. In high school I would stumble in the door at one to 3 AM. So long as I came home or told them who's place I was staying at they were fine with it. The idea was so long as I didn't do anything to get arrested or end up in the hospital I have kind of free roam, but if I messed up then things would change. I remember my parents getting pissed at me and my brother for doing something they didn't approve of even though we didn't get hurt or arrested and they canceled Christmas on us that year. No presents, no tree, no dinner. Nope... =P Anyway, they basically didn't medal in my dating life. I only had brothers, no sisters so I can't compare it.

Stacyzee · Accepted Answer

Yes, a lot of parents are more strict when it comes to their girls dating.

My brother is also 2 years older than me.

When he was 20 years old, it was allowed that his girlfriend spend the weekend and they

shared the same bed.

The boyfriend I did have never got to spend the night. When he did because his car broke down, he had to sleep on the couch.

Also, when my boyfriend was over he wasn't allowed in my room. If he was in there the door had to be wide open.

My brother got to close and lock his bedroom door with his girl over.

I knew the rules werent the same. When I would question them my parents would simply reply, "You are a girl".

They had more fear when it came to me which is why I had more restrictions than my brother.

Ex. The fear of being pregnant too early

The fear of being sexually active

The fear of being taken advantage of

The fear of being raped (women are more likely to get raped than men).

etc.

Since my brother was practically a man, they didn't have those same fears. And knew he could take care of himself.

Things were always that when, ever since we were kids. I had an earlier curfew.

dee_bee · Accepted Answer

Of course to girls, it doesn't make any sense! My brother is 19 and I'm 21. He has had several girlfriends and they have all come over etc. But they aren't allowed to stay the night. MY parents are pretty adamant about that. I can't even have guy friends so it seems over (well maybe that's extreme but that's how it felt). My brother would go over his guy friends houses for weeks on end and me? I couldn't spend a few hours with my best friend.

I have heard that parents say "with a girl, I have to worry about several penis'...with a boy I only worry about one"

as wrong as that sounds, I get it. Guys are supposedly "able to protect themselves" Girls are "vulnurable"...It's always gunna be different for the guys. Plus your dad wants to protect his little girl as long as possible. :)

Also, do you call your brother "Brother?" because that's what I call mine lol!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes it makes sense no I don't agree with it however I do understand where they're coming from. I could never have guy friends over or my girl friends over for that matter. I'm 19 and the only guy friend they accept is my cousins best friend who is 22. And living in a family where there are more girls than boys it has always been like this. My cousin is still overprotective and says that whoever my boyfriend is has to really win him over and he has to approve of because I am really special and sensitive and can't have my heart broken. So I take it these are some of the few reasons why your parents are a little more concerned for you than your brother.

MoeMoe · Answer

You d*mn right parents are stricter with girls dating than boys. Girls I believe need strict requirements as to whom they can date. If and when I have girls I would be way more strict with my daughters than boys. It's not a double standard it's just how it is. Girls have attitudes (guys do to but not to the extent of girls), girls whine, they think s*u*ing it up is cool etc etc. NO absolutely NO. I will be strict with whom my daughters would date as in I would require them to OPEN their minds up don't let daughters get pigeon holed into like ONLY tall guys etc. NO! My daughters I think I will set rules like if she brought home a tall guy the next guy will need to be maybe a couple inches taller then her not the 6' demanding height. If my daughters got the "requirement" attitude as in having a million superficial "requirements" I would have her sit down right down her "requirements" and then then ONLY the top five to ten "requirements" is what she could focus on such as (education, good family, good head on his shoulder, good job etc.) if daughters then got into the superficial "requirements" such as demanding his height above a certain height be this be that etc. NO I would probably ground them for getting so many superficial "requirements". Also I would teach my daughters very early on that the prince and princess is ONLY  FANTASY AND THAT TV AND FANTASY BOOKS ARE NOT "REALITY". So many women these days have so many SUPERFICIAL "requirements" it's no wonder so many are always constantly single and those SUPERFICIAL "requirements" are a big turnoff to men. Men SO DISLIKE ladies that have those SUPERFICIAL "requirements" and constantly looking for "that guy" and being EXTREMELY OVERLY PICKY PICKY PICKY. Yes it's important to obviously have standards but big so overly picky would be a HUGE NO with my daughters when I have daughters. This is EXACTLY why guys talk about having a gun around the house to scare off those unwanted boys :) :)!

DebiPie · Answer

1. I don't think it sounds like your parents were that strict with you. They let you have boys at your house until 2 a.m.! Wow! That's pretty late. And have boy/girl sleep overs. I am making the assumption that you are talking about high school with these examples. I think that's pretty liberal.

2. Your brother is now 22, he's a grown *ss man. I think there is a big difference between now & high school.

3. Yes, it makes sense.

4. I think many parents have "different" rules for different kids. And they should because kids are different. It's that simple.

5. Who ever said life is fair?

Izzy2102 · Answer

My parents def were. I have 4 older brothers and they could almost do what they wanted after a certain age, while I was allowed to do almost nothing unless one of them was babysitting. Like I always had my door open when I had a guy over even if we were just working on a school project. While my brother and his girlfriend had the house for themselves for the weekend.

Even when I want to college, I was kinda torn between two school but leaning towards one, yet my dad insisted I go to the other because my brother was going there too and we could live together "to safe rent"

I'm a virgin too, by choice too but I never talked to my parents about it

My dad always used to say, "with a son you have to worry about one d***, with a daughter you have to worry about all d***s in town"

Anonymous · Answer

Well girls are usually more emotional than guys so fathers and brothers try to protect a girls sensitive emotions. Plus men are just more protective of girls. For example some guy was hitting on my cousin and I told him to stop, when he didn't I decided to beat the sh*t out of him. But I've done the same thing for my brother when he was being bullied. What's most important is to remeber that the stricter the rules the more he loves you. If he didn't care about you he wouldn't care. It's clear in his mind your still his little girl. I'm going to be just like him if I ever have a daughter lol.

LonelyandInTheDark · Answer

Seems like it. My mother encourages my little brother to ask girls out in his school and gets ecstatic when my brother says a girl likes him, while any guy I bring up in a convo, she shakes her head in disdain, and tell me, just keep your focus on graduating college...she's really racist and shallow, too. I mean I personally don't think I have the right to be picky in guys, but my mom is limiting the amount of options I have in the dating pool. she thinks all the guys I like are knuckleheads or just "poor guys".

No, I think your parents are either irrational or you've been somehow showing them that you are irresponsible in some ways so they've become protective over you. Maybe your brother is more mature and responsible, obviously because he's older...

randommixedchick · Answer

I don't have any brothers, but I've noticed with my friends' parents that they were always stricter with the girls than boys in terms of dating. I think they are much more protective of them. I am the same age as your brother, but I'm surprised they still set these rules for you guys. Granted, you're still living under their roof, but at the same time, you both either over or almost over the age of 21. They should cut you a little break. If I were you, I'd learn how to be sneaky.

kdizzleforizzle91 · Answer

Parents are almost always more strict with their daughters than their sons when it comes to dating. They're always afraid their daughters will get pregnant, be promiscuous, get raped, and all kinds of things. Even though their sons could get a girl pregnant, be promiscuous, or get in trouble if they have sex with a minor, for some reason it's less of a concern, even though I think it should be equal. Both males and females can get into trouble.

SummerFlora · Answer

Never happened to me. I've been to a few sleepovers -mixed. And even my mom tells me to go out, go to parties and have some fun.

Though I am the type who will rather be home, than go to a club and get wasted.

And it's not like I've been fooling around with guys or anything, actually I've got my first Boyfriend a few months ago.

But my parents have never limited any rules like that.

Airlines22 · Answer

It certainly sounds unfair! My parents NEVER would allow me to have a mixed sleepover! But I know what you mean! My parents are the same way except my brother is younger than me and he acts all innocent when I told my parents what my best friend (guy) saw my brother looking at a girl's butt in the hall that's 3 older than him, yet they all give me restrictions! We are also 2 years apart!

youllthinkofme · Answer

In Dads minds, boys are the bad guys. While yes it's unfair, he's just looking ou for his little girl. With your brother, he isn't afraid of him getting hurt or taken advantage by this girl,  and if your brother hurts this girl, it's not your dads problem, it's her fathers. Just my take on it..

BehindTheFront · Answer

Yep, Parents are more protective towards girls. I guess they want to avoid the moment when we lay on our bed, crying and watching Notting Hill sixty times a week.

They also know we can get pregnant, raped, disturbed by boys, having us around or making sure no boys are near us is a way for them not to think about those things.

I may have a daughter one day, I bet I'm going to be extra vigilant with her.

Prof_Don · Answer

As unfair as it sounds...yes, most parents are more strict with their daughters dating, because of the odds of pregnancy.

Imo this is unfair (like the parents will let their sons knock up a girl and abandon her)...but usually that is the reason. :-X

elfmasta00 · Answer

I didn't get to date till I was 18. And by the time I was that age I didn't know how to get a date...

sfauo · Answer

For the most part, I'd say yes they are. A big thing has to do with the girl being the one who can get pregnant.

heartless95 · Answer

Yes, each gender has an advantage or disadvantage when it comes to certain things. Does it suck yes but I doubt it will change anytime soon.

Malcom_Reynolds · Answer

I think they are partially because fathers can be very protective of their daughters, and because girls can hurt a lot easier. Do I think it's fair? no.

Anonymous · Answer

yes! daddy can't imagine some guy f***ing his little girl

WoahBro · Answer

It's a vicious double standard

Anonymous · Answer

At least your parents care :(

Are parents stricter with girls dating than guys?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are parents stricter with girls dating than guys?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.