Girls often dread family get-togethers because they get blamed for still being single. But do parents make guys feel bad about themselves for not finding a girlfriend as well, or is it true that they have it easier in that regard (no one pressures them to get married)?
Oh no not at all. My parents have made me feel bad about being single since I was about 14-16. They went on for a few years if I had a crush, or was dating anyone. Then a few years after that continued a bit. But it was mostly you know it's okay if your gay and I can tell them. No matter how many times that I say I'm straight because around 18ish I still hadn't even been on a date. Now following on from that it went onto rareer on the do I like someone, rare for the gay comments onto it's fine to be alone for life it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you and not everyone meets someone. Around 20 . Now my sister is getting married and they won't shut up about me inviting someone. Also with me wanting to move out the most common comment has been well if you got a girlfriend it would be easier.
So for all my life around the time people start dating they have made me feel oh so good about my love life. So I have no confidence in myself thanks to them the thinking they are being supportive. And yes I have told them to essentially leave me alone on that. They don't. So while they haven't fully pushed the whole get married thing they have done plenty of other things.
My mom has never made me feel bad for being single and only once or twice, in heated arguments, did my dad ever bring it up. Of the adults older than me in my family only one uncle and aunt ever brought it up (they are married) and my uncle basically called me gay because I hadn’t dated. All of my siblings have accused me of being gay because I haven’t dated.
I’m straight but a combination of decades of depression, social anxiety and agoraphobia plus being rejected several times is the only reason I haven’t dated yet. I’m hoping that changes soon.
Most of my older family members actually have been supportive of me waiting until now to try and really get out there because they know about the mental issues.
My fam isn't pestering me to get married but they are wondering why i dont have a kid yet. My mom had the nerve to ask if she should bring some random off the street to knock me up. I thought that was disgusting and not funny. If a relationship did not work out and i decided to do invitro or get a donor, I’d do it the correct SAFE way
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My mom is super chill with me but she gives me a choice. Like she goes “Hey, come look at this girl, do you think she’s pretty?” on her phone and of course doesn’t pressure me at all when I say i’m not interested. I’m also young so maybe in the future if i’m not married my mom would worry. But yeah for now at age 18, I’m not pressured. As for my sister, who’s older than me by three years, my mom doesn’t pressure her at all actually, it’s the same treatment. So i feel it really depends on the parents way of going things not if you’re a man or woman. Some parents pressure you to find someone you like, some don’t and they let you decide when.
I think guys have it easier in this regard. My parents never blamed me or asked why I´m still single though they never asked my sister to I know women as well that were asked by their parents. Another scenario I´ve only heard from women is that either their parents or siblings pointed out their singleness to guys on marriage celebrations or other kind of parties.
Girls definitely receive more attention on this subject, but boys are not exempt. I'm 32. My family asks me when I'm gonna get my first girlfriend. I just want to be single forever because that's what's best for me. They still bring it up maybe twice a year or so. But I don't take it as "Pressure". It's just annoying, that's all.
Oh yeah! My parents haven’t stoped teasing me about it since I was 18… I got a girlfriend at 23 and they let up a little but then came on even harder after we broke up. I had to practically stop talking to them to get them to take me seriously about stopping it.
Guys get pressured sometimes to provide grandchildren as their parents get older.
The main reason women get pressured more in that regard is because they have a significantly shorter amount of time to have healthy kids than men do. About 20 years less time.
My parents never pressured us to get married however we had uncles and aunts ask us if when were we getting married. Our Mom did tell us just before she past away she wanted us to go on and get married and have children. However she didn't know how bad shape the world was in and I gave it serious thought after she passed and I have put those thoughts to rest within the past four years.
no I've never heard parents pressuring a guy to get married. Also rarely towards girls, especially in modern times. Those who do are mostly traditionalists. If want to be a good parent you should want your kid to have a good life and respect his/her decisions. Forcing someone into one direction is outdated and never really worked out well
Yep. We get that same treatment too. "Why aren't you with any girls? When can I expect grandchildren? We want you to get a girlfriend." It's not just girls. Trust me.
You mean the
"Isn't it about time you find someone?"
"How come you're still single?"
"Are you gay?"
"You still haven't found anyone?"
I pester my sons. I want grandchildren. They have money, highly educated, great jobs, even large houses and they don’t date. They enjoy their own life with their friends. They are nerds who like online games.
I think I agree with you on this one. I think guys don't get pestered as much as girls. I don't know why that is. I know it's not right, and it's one of the many double standards we have in our society.
I think you're right about girls being treated differently. My family is always asking when my sister is going to get married. Although, I have been married since I was 25 so there was never any pressure on me.
It works both ways. It's not so much the parents want their son or daughter to get married... they want grandchildren.
u some parents just want grandkids... lol
whoever they come from
I would say no. That’s a female double standard. You’re expected not to do anything romantic without thinking of marriage. Us guys? Doesn’t really come up…. ever
They ask when or why you're not but, I don't recall being badgered about it.
I was never pressured to get married or find a girl.
My parents treated me like a house slave, I wanted to meet someone just so I had a person I could confide in.
I think girls get it worse, but I got that too before I married and divorced! NOT anymore! LOL!
Guys can get pestered too, but I can't believe it's as bad as a daughter gets.
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