i'm 23, a female and i've found myself in a predicament. keep in mind i've had a past of mental health problems due to bipolar, anxiety as well as depression. i feel my family does not understand me at all. i've grown up being the black sheep and being bullied growing up then going home to not the worse, but not the most ideal living situation to put in a way. now after i've lived apart and i came back due to my mom wanting to help. they became very much more lenient in how they handle things and let me be but things have gotten abusive again, i just cannot take my father anymore. i cannot help but be filled with rage that there mistakes raising me and overprotecting me made me into the mess that i am now.
i feel like things have come to a complete circle for me. i feel really unfulfilled and uncomfortable with where i am in life and because of the mental illnesses i deal with and how i was raised i've made past decisions that i do regret have made and i've learned, i just feel like i need a fresh start to still do what i love but somewhere else. i don't want to cut off my friends but i feel very held to the person i was in the past so moving states seems like the best option. working my butt off, sleeping in my car and 24/7 gym (until i can afford rent) seems like the best option for me.
i'm basically homeless since my dad wants me out, i don't have anywhere or money to go but because of my mom i do have time to still live in the house until i find somewhere else but i'm also trying to fix my social anxiety and be a better friend to my friends. a better person. all these things i have going for me here i wonder if i should just let it all go? move up state to chicago or out of state to colorado, ohio or michigan. i feel like everything is pushing me out in a way but also pulling me in to stay. i feel very confused on what to do because i want to be good, be better and hustle, get my life together but it all just seems like a bad cycle i can't break out of.
i feel like things have come to a complete circle for me. i feel really unfulfilled and uncomfortable with where i am in life and because of the mental illnesses i deal with and how i was raised i've made past decisions that i do regret have made and i've learned, i just feel like i need a fresh start to still do what i love but somewhere else. i don't want to cut off my friends but i feel very held to the person i was in the past so moving states seems like the best option. working my butt off, sleeping in my car and 24/7 gym (until i can afford rent) seems like the best option for me.
i'm basically homeless since my dad wants me out, i don't have anywhere or money to go but because of my mom i do have time to still live in the house until i find somewhere else but i'm also trying to fix my social anxiety and be a better friend to my friends. a better person. all these things i have going for me here i wonder if i should just let it all go? move up state to chicago or out of state to colorado, ohio or michigan. i feel like everything is pushing me out in a way but also pulling me in to stay. i feel very confused on what to do because i want to be good, be better and hustle, get my life together but it all just seems like a bad cycle i can't break out of.
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I dated a bipolar before and it was absolute hell for me. She and her uncle and friends ended up stalking me and threatening me and left me paranoid. She would tell me the same thing. "No one understands me except my uncle." We would fight and block each other then she would come back saying she's changed when she really hadn't. Bipolar disorder isn't something that just goes away over night. And you really need to look at it from the other person's perspective. Having been on the receiving end of it, I will say that having a bipolar person in your family or circle of friends, and even at your job, is downright scary. You never how a bipolar person will react. The slightest thing sets them off. In my case she couldn't take criticism and wanted everything to revolve around HER. To be there for her 24/7 and do things by HER book. She always made excuses and played the victim when in reality it was SHE who was the abusive and bullying one. Bipolar people don't like to take responsibility for their actions and think they should just be able to treat people however they want and they should just accept it. The world doesn't work that way, and I don't accepting should be made simply because someone has a mental issue. She knew she was bipolar but at the same time refused to admit that it's a bad thing and that she has a mental illness. Refused to get the treatment her family sought for her. This is a serious psychological condition and it's something that only trained professionals can treat.
Maybe frustrated?
I definitely feel that. dreaming of doing something then getting the chance but letting it go because i didn't want to let the person i was with go. then i let myself go due to unhappiness and all that's happened. i'm single now and yes very frustrated lol i want to live and get out but i feel tied here by all the decisions i've done in the past