What is there to do when you feel yourself gone into a complete circle?

Anonymous
i'm 23, a female and i've found myself in a predicament. keep in mind i've had a past of mental health problems due to bipolar, anxiety as well as depression. i feel my family does not understand me at all. i've grown up being the black sheep and being bullied growing up then going home to not the worse, but not the most ideal living situation to put in a way. now after i've lived apart and i came back due to my mom wanting to help. they became very much more lenient in how they handle things and let me be but things have gotten abusive again, i just cannot take my father anymore. i cannot help but be filled with rage that there mistakes raising me and overprotecting me made me into the mess that i am now.

i feel like things have come to a complete circle for me. i feel really unfulfilled and uncomfortable with where i am in life and because of the mental illnesses i deal with and how i was raised i've made past decisions that i do regret have made and i've learned, i just feel like i need a fresh start to still do what i love but somewhere else. i don't want to cut off my friends but i feel very held to the person i was in the past so moving states seems like the best option. working my butt off, sleeping in my car and 24/7 gym (until i can afford rent) seems like the best option for me.

i'm basically homeless since my dad wants me out, i don't have anywhere or money to go but because of my mom i do have time to still live in the house until i find somewhere else but i'm also trying to fix my social anxiety and be a better friend to my friends. a better person. all these things i have going for me here i wonder if i should just let it all go? move up state to chicago or out of state to colorado, ohio or michigan. i feel like everything is pushing me out in a way but also pulling me in to stay. i feel very confused on what to do because i want to be good, be better and hustle, get my life together but it all just seems like a bad cycle i can't break out of.
What is there to do when you feel yourself gone into a complete circle?
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