How to make things work out when it feels like you're stuck in a loop?

[Anonymous]

Dear Girls and Guys.
I feel sad, ashamed and disappointed at this moment. All I can ask you guys for is honesty... Its been exactly 2 years that I am/was? together with my boyfriend... He is 28 I am 27. Due to lack of him having life experience I repeatedly had the same problems with him. Problem with him not being assertive enough to find a job. Problems with him seeking for in his eyes ' innocent' validation from outside the relationship. Problems with at one point being out of peace with myself because I felt like I was constantly in a battle searching for harmony,
steadiness and commitment while I knew in the back of my mind that if you are with the right person you dont have to fight for the basics. At this point I am tired of being a coach, mother, being walked over and ignored emotionally. I feel like I tried EVERYTHING to make things workout just to hear him say ' you did not wanted this or me for a long time already'...
I wanted him I wanted this relationship to work I wanted to be happy with him, but at this point Im tired of hitting a wall... and here I am... Asking for you guys to give me advice, to maybe calm me down, maybe help to look forward, maybe help me with my solution.

Thank you...

[SwankyJon]

You can only ever ask someone to try. You can't make someone change, and often it's not fair to expect them to, even if you have the best intentions.
You have to decide if it's important enough for you to end the relationship because its not working, or if you're capable of letting it go and accepting how he is

[Asker]

True, its not fair to expect those things. I feel like I don't have patience anymore because I got hurt too often in this relationship and now it turned into a lot of frustration and a 'hurt people hurt people' scenario. How much I would like to let go and accept things it feels like I am at a crossroad where I have to chose between my relationship and my own goals and ambitions because those years showed me that its impossible in this relationship to combine and find balance in both because all the weight is on my shoulders... My responsibilities his and ours. I have troubles cutting ties but I think its for the best. Thank you for your answer.

[SwankyJon]

That does sound like it's for the best. It's never easy, but sometimes has to be done. Good luck

[iseekpinetrees]

Well its up to you if you feel you can work on this relationship. A good relationship takes work but if you don't feel like you want to keep up with this then go and leave you gave it a shot. That's why it's called dating. You don't need to be stuck woth someone you don't work out with. Do not settle.

[Asker]

Yes, thank you.