Girls - was my sister right to defend herself in this situation?

Question

My little sister Amy whose 15 was at school Monday and a 17 year old guy grabbed her bum under her skirt. Well she turned round and hauled off and kicked him hard in the testicles she had heavy shoes on as she is a goth. Anyway the guy fell down and cried. The teacher see this and pulled her into the office by which time the lad was puking on the floor. My parents went to the school friday. The principle decided that a one week suspension for Amy is appropriate, however the boy is also going to have a one week suspension put on his record although he is unlikely to be able to return to school during the weeks suspension due to the extent of his injuries. The boy had surgery and the doctors repaired his left testicle that had been ruptured, although due to the damage sustained the testicle will not be able to produce any sperm. The boys right testicle had to be removed due to it having multiple ruptures. My parents think that this should be the end of the matter, however they don't know if the boy's parents will do some legal action or not and are worried about that. Amy is not happy at being suspended as she feels that it was self defense and their were people who saw the incident that backed her story up.

I do agree with Amy in the respect that the boys injuries are as a direct result of his actions and that she should not be held responsible for injuries he suffered.

1. Do you think she did the right thing?

2. Would your answer to question 1 be different if the boy did not suffer permanent damage?

3. What would you have done?

4. Have you been in a similar situation? What did you do?

5. Do you feel bad for the guy or do you think its his own fault and what he deserved?

6. How would you feel if it was your daughter in this situation?

7. How would you feel if it was your son in this situation?

WaitingAtTheDoor · Accepted Answer

I think that your sister had and still has a right to defend herself from sexual assault, which is what this very much was.

Realizing that we are dealing with teenagers, I doubt highly that this kid was wanting to be a deviant, more so wanting to pull a prank on a girl, and I wouldn't be surprised if he had feelings for her that percipitated this. Teens have a funny way of expressing their feelings, because they generally don't understand how to appropriately.

That being said, you sister has a right to subdue a person to the point of temporarily delaying them from further assaulting her, and apprehending said person until authorities arrive.

In this case, even though she only delivered one kick, it was too much force for the incident. She caused permanent bodily harm, which is only excusable in the instance of person attempting to murder or maim you or another who is unable to defend themselves.

The law is quite clear on these points in every state.

If it were me, I would have kicked out his leg at the back of whatever knee I had the best angle on, to get him on the ground, where I could pin him until staff arrived.

I've been assaulted before, and I have always walked away in the best shape, I don't put up with bull from anyone. However, I take into consideration how far I can take a situation.

I think this guy put himself in this situation, but I do feel bad for him. I wouldn't be human if I didn't. I mean lets not forget he's still a child, and this is one heck of a grim lesson to learn from a momentary bad decision.

Granted your sister may have been embarassed, but she gets to walk around unscathed really. He's not going to be able to produce children.

If it was my daughter, I would be sensitive to her needs, but I would also expect her to put the situation in perspective.

It's definitely not something she should tolerate, but again, she's not been permanently harmed by the act, it's something she can walk away from and not carry with her forever.

If it were my son, I would be terribly disappointed in his actions. I would realize this is probably more punishment then the act deserves, but I would remind him of the lesson and hope that he could carry on, even though he is not going to be the same ever again.

germanotaku · Accepted Answer

1) Obviously no
2) No
3) Slap in the face with the palm of the hand and then telling the rector of school, eventually even going as far as going to the police, after all, it IS a crime :D
4) No
5) Yes I feel bad for him, but in the end it was his own fault
6+7) No Idea, I'm no parent yet and NO ONE can tell me they have any idea on parents process of thinking

QueenKatie · Accepted Answer

1, 3 and 4. I also had this done to me at school, so I know how humiliating it is. But even taking that into account, no, I don't think she did the right thing. What he did was completely unacceptable, and amounts to sexual assault. There is far too much of this type of degrading sexist behaviour in schools, and teachers need to do far more to prevent it. However, though your sister was humiliated, she was not in danger of being raped or of losing her life, and her reaction was disproportionate to the offence. The way to handle it was to extract herself using minimum force from the situation (i.e. walking away) and then to make a formal complaint to both the school and to the police. This would have resulted in serious consequences for the young man in question, since the incident was witnessed.

2, 5. Obviously, the degree of force is important. Self defense does not mean beating the crap out of anyone who lays a hand on you: it means using a minimum degree of reasonable force to preserve life. Your sister went beyond that, perhaps unintentionally, but her actions have deep consequences for the young man's life. The fact that the he has permanent damage may mean that he won't be able to have children now, which could well be a massive detriment to him.

6. I'd be scared about legal consequences, and I'd feel the need for a 'violence is wrong' talk and possibly a watching of Gandhi! :)

7. I'd be furious.

AngelFace90 · Accepted Answer

She did the right thing. She did not mean to cause permanent damage. In life for every action there is a reaction and for every action there is a consequence. Unfortunately for the guy he did not know the consequence of his actions until it was too late. As girls we have to do what we have to do when we find ourselves in these situations. If she did not react to his inappropriate advances, what would he have tried to do the next time he saw her?

I feel bad for the guy and I don't think he deserved all that, but I'm sure your sister feels bad too. She meant to defend herself NOT to cause a permanent injury.

The guy meant to have a "good" time touching and feeling all over your sister NOT to have his balls removed/permanently injured.

If this were my daughter I would be supportive of her as this is something that I'm sure has caused her some sort of trauma and will continue to linger. I would consider moving her to another school.

As for the guy, he needs the support of his family too. He will need counseling. His entire life/future is now affected by this. I would consider moving him to another school too, if this were my son.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

She was totally in the right to defend herself.

It's not like she purposely set out to destroy his testicle. He physically violated her in sexual manner and she responded with retaliation. Sexually assaulting someone can also be a sensitive spot for girls as well. If this guy feels comfortable enough to do something like that to someone at school, it sounds like it's not his first time doing it.

I feel bad that his injury was that harsh but had he not been harassing her this never would have occurred. Your sister did not know her own strength in this situation. If his injuries were not permanent I would go far as to say that he deserved it, but the fact that they are permanent is the only factor that makes it questionable on her behalf.

If that were my daughter I would be upset that she had to go through that and I would commend her for defending herself.

If it were my son I would try to get him help and possibly reconstructive surgery but I would emphasize that he had a responsibility too, and I'd also teach him about controlling his behavior and treating people with respect.

Crazycanuck · Answer

The dude got what he deserved...I mean he what he did was in inexcusable and stupid...And yes your sister did the right thing. Cause if she let him get away with it he would do it to other girls thinking that it was ok for him.

It dose suck that he lost his ability to reproduce but and I'm sorry that he had to lose his "boys" but sh*t just happens. I would advise your parents to save up some money cause to be honest if it was my kid that lost his ability to reproduce then I would sue too. Regardless of whether or not he deserved it.

JustBeCurious · Answer

HOnestly she hit there pretty hard. But even if it was self-defense, she has to realize she seriously injured someone badly. He won't be able to have kids and I'm sure his pain was to the extent.

I think it was okay for her to defend herself but she just ruined someones life. That's a very sensitive spot for guys and it's a huge weakspot too. I think she should've took into consideration how hard she hit him. But I'm sure he'll never do that again.

Something like that will efect him Emotionally, physically. And it will also affect his love life. I wouldn't be surprised if he went into depression.

Marge · Answer

yes..she did the right thing..if she had not defended herself, what would he have tried next? If it were my son who did that, I would think there is something deeply wrong with him & seek mental health attention for him. If my daughter did this, I would give her Standing Ovation for standing up for herself.

Dela1111 · Answer

I think she did the right thing.  This guy doesn't need to be having kids since they'll be exactly like him.  EUGENICS!

Virtuales · Answer

ye she did the right thing that boy had no right to pull her skirt and ye it was self defense that's what you get for being an asshole

Girls - was my sister right to defend herself in this situation?

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