Search Results: looking for a relationship

It's impossible to forget them once you have grasped. But i heard about them MORE than a 100 times. And still kept forgetting.

No cognitive issues. But it was a defense mechanism. There is no way that to study it as extensively as i did and keep forgetting it is just a coincidence with me also fearing to be changed. Wanting to be changed but there is a huge reason why i became this way, to survive.

Both of my clinger-pusher parents are fearful-avoidant because of their pretty bad traumas growing up, till this day they get scared when complimented, for example.

And i learnt that the most widespread recommendations are very harmful, like; "it's no use overthinking" or "love your parents" These spoken excuses always push the anxiety further down so tightly it overflows out as irrationality.

i rarely see my parents and when i do i cannot bring myself to tell them:

Forgiving should come naturally, not through ideology. Just like breathwork never worked for me until opening up my emotions triggered the breathing changes naturally. It is ok to look like you're possesed for days while pouring out the repressed anxiety.

They still press it down with either "we blamed them, they wronged us, now forgive and move on" (my dad) or "they suck, let's revenge forever" (my mom).

Last time i told mom "i have had this bad habit forever, it is finally going away!" she rudely acknowledged and dismissed it in one same sentence.

I think everyone who refuses to investigate this topic and to persist until trauma psychology becomes as clear as adding 1+1, is afraid of finding out they have issues - even if they know they do - because we developed our issues as a means to survive. letting go of daddy issues frightens us to death, it has been our survival strategy.

The tragedy is that 40% of all adults have UNRESOLVED infancy anxiety issues and seek relationships to cope with them instead of fixing their body's repressed panic.

ex broke up with me not because l did anything bad, I was good. But she felt resistance and that we would clash. She was a little dismissive/mean at the end. She did say we could be friends.

I unfollowed her and told her not to contact me again as I was hurt. It has been 7 weeks with nil contact between us. It was a shorter relationship but we met each others parents, stayed overnight and she is literally the most beautiful girl in the the world.

Message: (I will start the conversation asking how she is)

I do understand there’s a good chance you may have moved on. Looking back on our relationship, I thought what we had was special and unique! Despite how it ended, I would like to try one last time to reach out to you as I thought what we shared was genuinely meaningful!

It would be nice to meet and catch up with you again!

I respect your decision if this is simply not what you would want.

If a guy was overall good to you and not rogue. Do you just tend to remember the good bits about the relationship

Initially I ticked all her boxes that she was looking for in a guy. She recognised I’m a nice guy, kind, sensitive and gentle. We had a good connection. I was consistent and attentive towards her, emotionally available. Made tule to see her a couple times a week.

I am also a rare find and from a very good background

Reasons she left:

She thought I was a player and cagey with my phone and untrustworthy. I was cagey as it is personal, but always reassured her and I think I showed her my phone/messages like 3 times.

I didn’t make her feel special - because I did 50/50 when I earn more than her and come from money. I have only been working for a year. I didn’t buy her flowers, I did for Valentine’s Day and bought her a plant in the early stages.

Didn’t like how I was consulting family members at the end about the relationship

I didn’t lead sometimes and did make her switch her brain off. She has a point when we went on a weekend she planned it. But she also tells me she’s not a passive person as she’s a professional.

I feel hurt. It was my first relationship. If I could go back there’s not a lot I would change just cherish her more? I didn’t make any fundamental errors, obviously times where I could’ve been nicer. There was on time I shut her down a bit because she didn’t want to move in with my family.