At what age gap do you think relationships stop working long term?

[Anonymous]

Lets say a guy is 46 years old (but physically looks like 55 cause the man hair is almost all white) and his girlfriend is 30 and looks so much younger next to him. Well in this case the difference is 15 years. Some say 15 years is nothing others say otherwise. They had been dating for 3 years. The man is a known public figure, the woman has nothing to do with being a public figure. What`s your thoughts?

[MrChinaski]

I don't know -(your age-my age)^2 is the right way to think about what determines whether a relationship will work.

My general rule is: has the person lived a full life of ups and downs, grown through the process, learned who they are, carry themselves with some self-assuredness, have the capacity to hold happiness and pain, and are likely to continue to do so into the future.

The average person has achieved these things by around 30 years old, maybe early 30s. From that point you can engage as emotional equals.

Some people may reach that point before 25 but I think that is uncommon; some may never do so. But early 30s is a decent benchmark.

[MrChinaski]

You could layer on top of that a degree of shared values, objectives, lifestyle... which make matches less frequent with age differences but no less strong when they do in fact coincide.

And fertility. Sorry ladies. I'm not eager to have more kids.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Since relationships are rocket science to me, but the randomized version, I wouldn't use age gap to conclude anything about... Anything. I often hear people talking about a 10 years gap limit, which could very much be an idea expressed and not something actually experienced. So I wouldn't say it's useful.

What I know is that I'm not fond of visible age differences, because it means self-image discrepancies to manage, for me. And maybe for her too, I'd rather avoid that

[MrChinaski]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O90WZJALYc

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

An expensive illustration...

[lilBigPotato]

It depends already in their age. 20+35 is different from 50+65. Also depends on the individuals involved... Don't think there's a general rule like that.

[LazerBean]

My dad always said that 15 years is pushing it, and anything past that is a bad idea. I would agree with that

[Anonymous]

Anything above a 10 year gap the longterm success rate plummets.

[Asker]

Why is that?

[Opinion Owner]

Because with that big of a gap generally the two have trouble relating to eachother.