Search Results: looks vs personality

An example of a person's personality would be how nice / kind they are vs how mean they are when treating you.

An example of a person's lifestyle would be like a person working a normal 40 hour work week, can have a little fun, but lives within their means vs a person who is rich and can travel anywhere for fun.

Think about this question as if you are looking for someone for a long term relationship to spend your life with.

First of all, I'm 5'8 but I'm not insecure at all. So give it to me straight, I promise I can handle it.

So I have this theory that girls mainly like taller guys because they generally feel more protected around tall dudes. But this feeling doesn't always hold much weight in the real world.

I agree that with the average 6'3 dude vs the average 5'8 dude, the 6'3 dude has a weight and reach advantage if they were to fight. But I'm not talking about averages.

Let's say you had to pick the most attractive guy out of two guys to date.

Guy A: He is 5'8, but is bigger and stronger than most guys. He does strength training and MMA and has been doing so for a long time. He can beat 99% of guys since most guys have no training whatsoever. And just to clarify, he is not steroid-like bodybuilder type big. He is natural and athletic.

Guy B: He is 6'3, lives a mostly sedentary lifestyle. He might do a sport that's more cardio-based like cycling or whatever. He's pretty skinny, but not to the point you think he is sick. Just average skinny. He's not a pussy, he is willing to fight when push comes to shove. He just has no real experience so against Guy A he wouldn't stand a chance.

You are objectively safer with Guy A.

Let's assume for the sake of this question, that both guys have same facial features and everything. Just a different body-composition and height. They also have the same personality, just different skills.

Also please ignore other factors. For example: "Guy A probably lives in the gym and I wouldn't like that"

I can also understand if you are a girl who is taller than 5'8 it might be a turn-off. If that's the case please assume Guy A is your height or an inch taller and add the same amount of height to Guy B.

Looking forward to hearing your opinions!

It is heavily implied (and even outright stated) in society that women supposedly understand men more than vice versa. However the older I get the more that’s a giant myth.

Women might understand men’s sexual impulses and know how to attract (and often manipulate) men with their feminine wiles. That is if they are able to do so. Mother Nature isn’t exactly fair to all women when it comes to who fares better via genetic lottery vs who doesn’t when it comes to looks in itself.

However I truly believe most women fail to understand that what most men want is to be respected by women. Respect is not the same thing as attraction. They often go hand in hand but not always. There are people in this world I don’t find attractive and/or dislike. But they have attributes I can respect..

For example I have more than once come across some loudmouth aggressive overweight women. I know they are loud (and often bullying) out of frustration & insecurity.

However I’ve met a few them who were very driven and self responsible in their career fields. They know they can’t rely on their looks to get by on life. Instead they were forced to work hard to get by the same way a man is expected to work hard. That I can respect despite often not liking their personalities.

Anyway what many women fail to understand is the root of most (non pathological) misogyny in modern society is just the overall disrespect men perceive from women. It’s not sexual frustration. It’s about respect.

Men can naturally sense real respect vs passive disrespect (usually goes behind a fake smile)

If women naturally understood how men crave respect then:

• Modern feminists would shut up about 95% of the crap they spew (yes they really do hate men unless a man agrees with them and/or they find him attractive).
• Women would understand what a deep insult the friéndzone truly is
• Gold diggers & freeloaders would find nothing “cute” in bs they do
• Ghosters would feel much more guilt.

I hate to say it but as man I usually have my mind made up within 30 seconds of meeting a woman of how physically attracted I am to her.

Emotional attraction does still weigh heavily into it though. She can be hot af but if I can’t stand her personality and/or she’s has no genuine interest in me I can move on. I can also move on a lot faster nowadays vs. when I was younger.

But the issue is often come across women I find that are 5’s or 6’s. They aren’t repugnant or anything but I don’t feel any butterfly’s in my stomach either. More often than not they really like me because while I am nice to them I also don’t bend over backwards for them either. I’m just as happy to be there or not be there. Either way is fine. So it’s easy to be myself.

But as a man I find that the ugly truth is I have never found myself growing in attraction for average looking women despite some of them having excellent personalities. I really have tried to “check myself” on this. Tell myself to look deeper. Tell myself to “grow up”. Feel guilty af about it.

But if tried to force myself to date and commit to average looking yet great personality girls in the past. It always ends in disaster. I quickly lose interest in sex and find myself having less patience about their problems. And I know that’s not fair at all.

Is it possible for a man to slowly fall in love with a woman he isn’t attracted to?

I am asking this because I have an opportunity to get married to an average looking girl who is outstanding in all other ways. She’s a very hard worker, respectful, excellent personality, moderate conservative, has no vices, etc. She’s also younger (27) yet mature and independent.

Yet she has a rather unattractive face and I feel Iike complete shit saying that. She’s was born with that those facial features and has zero control over them. I keep kicking myself not to judge that but it’s hard.

I’m 41 and I’m still in excellent shape. Reason being I exercise daily and I usually stick to a very healthy diet.

Anyway I became more self conscious about not showing my body off in pics or in public by my mid 30s. I don’t really feel comfortable going shirtless even at a beach/pool.

I do have one shirtless pic showing my abs off but it’s never something I will show a woman right away. I usually will show it once if she shows me a few suggestive pics (I don’t like nudes tbh but it’s nice to see what kind of body she has). Definitely not something I keep on social media though

Anyway I am well aware of the “creep” element guys my age have to watch out for. We got a lot less leeway vs guys in their early 20s on all of this.

But at the same time I’m wondering if I’m sometimes shortchanging myself by keeping an attractive asset I still have hidden. Is there a way to let a woman know about this without looking immature/creepy?

And yes I am well aware how women care about personality, drive, humor, money etc. Don’t need a lecture of on that. But this is one thing that can make me go from a 7 to an 8 on a pure physical attraction scale. But if done wrong it can look very bad.