How should I proceed if he's got an avoidant attachment style?

[Anonymous]

To try and make a long story short.. I matched with a guy on a dating app just a few months ago. Things were going great until we realized that we live in two opposite continents.. despite this, we still enjoyed talking to each other & enjoyed each other's company so we continued to talk for a total of 2.5 months. during that time we bonded emotionally through text, talked every day and overtime we both admitted that we were beginning to have feelings for each other as we found the other person to be what we were looking for in significant others. I also came to learn he had abandonment issues at such a young age. He would joke saying he's got emotional issues but he had a dry/sarcastic humor so I didn't think much of it at the time. I was also trying to be better about being transparent about feelings, communicating &emotions with him but it felt like I was always the one to express emotions vs him. & his reply would be he just has a hard time expressing himself. We both knew that ultimately it wasn't going to work out long term because of the distance and decided to stop talking. Recently we reconnected & it was going well for the first few days but my personality is that I like to tease and give the person I like, a hard time. He joked saying he could handle it before, but this one day specifically we were joking/flirting & giving each other a hard time but I could tell he was getting frustrated and he asked me to do something for him, which I refused as a tease & as a result he told me to not expect any responses or replies from him until I did so.. &i haven't heard from him since...
I just recently came to find out about the avoidant attachment style after reading about it, and it very clearly matches him.. I also came to learn that I have an anxious attachment style.. so while my go to response is to reach out & try to address the problem and at least be on good terms, I'm afraid that it might drive him away.. I don't know what to do or how to move forward.

Updates

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*also part of the reason why I say that I realized that he's got an avoidant attachments style is because a few days leading up to him being frustrated, his behavior and the way he would talk to me came off as cold, unbothered, "too cool to care" and he wasn't showing that he cared as much as he did in the beginning..

[jeffiner]

Avoided attachment style can be due a number of things anywhere from childhood neglect to narcissism.
If he gave you an ultimatum about continuing to talk to him I would honestly cut your losses and say c'est la vie. Whether it's a long distance relationship or a phone relationship or an in-person relationship nobody should be telling the other person that they have to do this otherwise this is or isn't going to happen. Successful relationships and friendships don't have one person who is in more control than the other successful relationships and friendships are ones where there is no control. Or where everybody has the same amount of control however you want to look at it.
When one person has more control than the other one in a relationship to put it bluntly it's an abusive relationship it doesn't matter if it's a physical thing an emotional thing a psychological thing a manipulative thing it's abusive period.
I would say that not only is the fact that you guys are on two different continents a good thing but I would also say that he has shown you his true colors and for that you should be grateful also.
I also want to say that if his excuse every time is that he is not good at expressing his emotions then that means that he is not trying to better himself he's not trying to learn from past experiences and past hurt and therefore he is not maturing in life and again that is not somebody that can be in a successful relationship.
I actively have to be cognizant of my emotions and how I feel about them so that I can express them. It's not always easy it's not always fun and it doesn't always get the results that I was hoping for but I realized that it is healthy for relationships because communication is key.

[watercolor_lions]

I don't think you two are going to work out. You are probably attracted to him BECAUSE he is avoidant. But that isn't necessarily positive. It's kind of like reliving trauma tbh.

You'd be better off finding someone in your area, who has a healthy attachment style, if you can. Otherwise you will always feel alone. I dated someone with an avoidant personality, and after the infatuation period, it was like I was begging for his attention. I eventually ended up with a friend who spent time with me while he was ignoring me.

[Guy13]

You have never met. You do not have any idea what he is truly like. I do not know what you are so invested in this. Different continents ⁉️

[Anonymous]

So where exactly did you earn your degree in psychology?

[threefournine]

if guys you meet online are giving you a hard time just let them go, they are not worth the stress

[Anonymous]

People like that are so hard to read. Personally, I wouldn't have the patience.