Search Results: single in twenties

30f and I really can’t tell if I’m inevitably single because I don’t want a relationship or it’s a case of self sabotage. Within the past few years, the only attention I’ve gotten from attractive guys were on dating apps. But that should be taken with a grain of salt, I feel like compared to the average woman, I don’t get attention from quality guys in person. I’m pretty shy and tend to speak when spoken to, on top of bad anxiety, I’ll say I question if women can relate to my lack of sex drive. I haven’t had sex since my early twenties/don’t masturbate and couldn’t care less if I died a virgin, will feel some kind of way if I’ve never found love though.

It’s as if I want the reassurance I’m desirable (from what seems like decent men) vs actually going out on dates, I’m insecure but wouldn’t just go for anyone that gives me the time of day. I just don’t get why it can’t ever go my way w/ the OLD apps, it’s likely bad luck but a pattern of: ghosting, fizzling out, the convo not flowing to my expectations & I dip out, just lack of interest (can go both ways) etc. I’m attracted to men, I really don’t think id date a woman but something about men at the same time turns me off (physically & personality wise). Like almost every woman I've known has been boy crazy since they were pre-teens and I never got it, I thought they were exaggerating or I was a late bloomer. Well here I am 2 decades later, my closest thing to boy crazy were celebrity crushes.

Am I looking for excuses to justify being single? Is it simply a case of being unlucky? Is there more to unpack here? Or is the right guy all it takes for it to fall into place?

30F & I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.

30F and I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.

Let’s say she starts off as a pretty girl always single (everyone has a boyfriend while she’s in HS) then transitions into her being in her late twenties and realized nothings changed. Those former friends are now married and she’s still…well single. Is it a reflection of her? The dating pool? I know it’s a case by case kind of thing but is it assumed it’s her choice vs lack of options? Or just bad luck on her side? Asking for a friend 🥴. I always assumed relationships would happen naturally & I don’t feel desperate enough to make it feel forced with any person that comes my way. Where I’m going with this: is she likely not pretty if she’s always single?

PS-not being conceited in saying I think I’m *attractive*, going based off feedback I’ve gotten.

Going to be 30 soon & ask myself why I’m incapable of being in a relationship with a man, people can say that I’m picky but I don’t fully believe I should take all the blame. Female friends I’ve had in the past seem to get dates easier/are okay with putting out & some have unintentionally made me second guess my looks, as they seem to have it easier yet other people have told me I’m equally/more attractive than they are. The last time I “dated” someone was when I was in my early twenties & I’m glad that ended because this guy felt like settling. It justifies that love isn’t blind & it’s better to be alone vs being in a mediocre relationship. I know I’m not all that but I feel like I should be able to attract quality men, all my life I feel like I’ve been invisible to men. I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (don’t count dating apps) & the very few times someone told me that a guy found me attractive (normally a guy I also thought was attractive), they never told me directly & it was always word of mouth.

I feel like I am cursed, that last person I saw in my early twenties was through a dating app & that’s how I’ve met all of these men I’ve met up with. The apps are continually getting worse & they’ve always had a bad rep, getting matches are never an issue it just fails to go anywhere for a number of reasons. And sometimes when I’ve met guys in person & it didn’t work out, there’s just something about them that doesn’t live up to my expectations (even though they look like their pics). I’m unsure if my dating logic is unrealistic, dating apps are the only way for me to meet people & don’t understand how I can be this old & haven’t been in love yet.

The last thing I’ll add is my lack of sex drive, masturbation doesn’t do anything for me & I haven’t had sex since I saw that person back in my early twenties. However, it’s known that some women need to be in a healthy relationship in order to have that *sexual desire*.

29F, have been told I’m pretty/attractive, have a younger face which is how I could be deemed as cute instead. When I tell you I’ve never been approached by a guy I’d actually want to date, I get attention from guys in person but it’s usually the questionable ones. I’ve been told on and off in the past that a guy I found attractive would look at me/found me attractive but never did anything about it (I’m too shy to also). I don’t have any in person friends as I work remote & sadly only rely on dating apps. The guys I match with I find attractive but not sure if I’m just unlucky (likely the case) or it’s dating apps as a whole but for some reason it doesn’t work out for a multitude of reasons. If those guys actually noticed me in person I would feel a little bit more secure. My thing is I’m pretty old in my opinion, as most people my age are married & have kids. I only have a str under my belt from a few years ago when I was in my early twenties & have been single since. I have this mindset that if I was actually attractive, I would’ve had quality guys lined up by now. Since that str, I’m very selective & am even quicker to stop something in its tracks if the guy does something that turns me off/isn’t what I’m fully looking for. I think dating has treated me very unfairly as “pretty girls” don’t deal with this, unless I’m missing something. And I’ll add this even though it shouldn’t matter that much in the very early talking stages: I don’t care about sex much at all, maybe overthinking it but unsure if that vibe is picked up on being so reserved.

TLDR: would you also think you’re unattractive if you’re almost thirty & don’t ever get attention from guys you’d actually consider dating?

I’m so confused. Over the summer I went through a horrible break up and it was somewhat publicized within my community. People know I’m single. Im only in my early twenties, but I’m a doctorate candidate and have traveled the world — I’m also an artist and writer. This seems to impress the single father who has been going out of his way to talk to me. Our parent teacher conferences go on for 2 hours because we just end up chit chatting, he touches me every chance he gets, and at a recent open bar work gala, we could not stay away from each other. With that being said, he doesn’t really follow up with these flirty encounters by texting or calling. I have developed feelings for him too, the first time I’ve had feelings for someone in a year. Asking him out might be a wild risk, but I feel so drawn to him. What do I do?