I tried to kiss my ex and she pulled away! What she is thinking?

[Anonymous]

I saw my ex for the first time in two years, who has always initiated calling me since our break up. After ignoring her because I was so messed up, I gave in and said I'd like to see her when she's back in the country. She came round my place we chatted and spent a few hours together talking and laughing enjoying each others company. She had to be somewhere for dinner so I dropped her back home and leaned in to kiss her goodbye but she pulled away. It's the first time any girl, let alone my ex who still loves me has ever turned away from a kiss. She later texted me telling me she wanted to kiss me and was sorry. What is going on with this chick?

[Tdieseler]

It was a little sudden. Also, you are missing a very important factor... she's your ex. If it were me, that simple act tells me at least 3 things... at the least.
What I know is that girls tend to do what us guys don't/won't, you moved too fast twinkle toes... she backed up... what she did probably saved your chance at getting back together. Slow down, u don't seem to remember why she's an ex, she does.

[Asker]

Well, I took a risk. I'm not going to see her for at least another year as she leaves again soon.

[Tdieseler]

So why would you try to get back with someone who is not only an ex, but an ex with a pending LDR? You need to bring the thought process up to the head above your shoulders... she has realized it and she backed up because she knew that brings up the kind of feelings that won't be helpful with a pending LDR. Like i said, she saved your butt with that act.
My personal recommendation, stay friends. if it was meant to be, fate has a way of turning things around. Your risk failed, now take my/her message.

[Asker]

It was just a kiss goodbye and I didn't see any harm at the time. You are right though man.

[Tdieseler]

Thank you for finally admitting it... and a kiss goodbye... is on the cheek, Romeo..

[Asker]

ha ha!

[Tdieseler]

You have a sense of humor... nice.. that will serve you well. I don't know if i helped but im jst glad i got through.. Good luck homie

[Asker]

I did actually make a joke of the situation when she text me later that evening and she responded with a flirty text back. Cheers for the advice..

[Tdieseler]

means the runway to friends is open... thing is... are you willing to go that route?
And you are definitely welcome

[Asker]

She knows I won't tolerate being friends, she respects me enough to honour that. I was stupid to expect anything to happen in a four hour meet up after 2 years. She keeps asking me to go visit her in the new country, trouble is she was the one who ended the relationship.

[Tdieseler]

So again... the runway is open, and you won't take it. Just because you refuse to take the runway, doesn't mean its still not open. She understands it, you don't. She is reaching out to have you as a friend but you constantly try to break that (and with the wrong methods if i could add). Take the win. She sounds like an amazing friend if she stuck out this long.

[Asker]

I'm just asserting what I want and that if she wants to meet up I'm here, but not expect me to treat her like a friend. She has a lot of friends, lots of male friends why put myself through that - I won't.

[Tdieseler]

seems like she is/has asserted herself too. You want, she doesn't. the choice is up to you. you don't want to lose her, so you can either conform, or walk away.

[Asker]

Truth is I already have lost her. The most powerful negotiating position is to be able to walk away and not look back.

[Tdieseler]

or just being the friend she wants you to be... like i said... its a choice. and thats not a power move by the way.

[Tdieseler]

thanks for the vote

[GrownUp]

when she see you again.. she feel that she is over you more than she think before.. and didn't wanna start anything again probably.. because if a girl get used to being without you.. they dont wanna take you back that easy..

[WpCurious]

She is probably just afraid of getting hurt again. I think she just did not want to leave the car with the hopes that you two will get back together and therefore she did not kiss you. It is nothing personal, she is just scared.

[Asker]

One thing that came to mind was that she may be seeing someone else, so I straight up asked her. She assured me there was no-one else... She told me she hasn't been with anyone for over a year. The same is true for me and I told her.

[WpCurious]

Do you want her back? If you do, you should just tell her how you feel

[Asker]

Yes I want her back, but she's living in another country now. She left me to be with her family and to learn languages in South America... she goes back in 2 days for another year at least.

[WpCurious]

Okay that could be another reason why she would not kiss you, because she has to go back. I know long distance is not for everybody so I'm not even going to suggest it, but maybe wait it out, when she comes back and you both are still single and still have feeling then maybe you should try again.

[Bethany-Louise]

Ex's are ex's for a reason. She obviously didn't want things to go any further that night and have feelings come back or be treated for a mug

[Asker]

She was my world and she was my favourite mug. ;)

[new_me]

Okay I'm curious to know? Who broke up with who?

[Asker]

She broke up with me.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

She's likely very nervous about reconciling.

[Asker]

Yeah I bet. I pretty much proposed to her two years ago.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

So if you want her, take it slow.