Why does my ex boyfriend still flirt with me?

[Anonymous]

We broke up 2 years ago, we are still very good friends to this day. I'd say that he is one of my best friends, and he'd say the same for me.

But when we hang out together, he still flirts with me, and stares at me a little longer than normal. It actually gets really awkward for me to keep on looking at him even though we are talking because of how he still looks at me.

So, what exactly is going through his head? I want to ask him, but I know it would end up being an awkward conversation. The only reason why I could think that he stares at me like that is because he's trying to show he's interested in what I'm talking about, but it still weirds me out because the stares tend to last longer than the talking. Still doesn't explain the flirting though.

Oh and I should probably mention that he has a girlfriend.

Updates

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[BBKeys1423]

He's flirting with you and staring at you because he still has feelings for you.

Now maybe he's sublimated them pretty well, and maybe he hasn't. But the fact is, that when you break up with someone, it doesn't mean that the aspects of people you found attractive are suddenly gone. There are lots of reasons to break up with people.

So here's this guy you were dating and you and he broke up. Did you guys break up together, or did you say you wanted to go back to being friends and he was supportive? I take it he wasn't the one that broke up with you?

Anyway, if he still cared about you (which he obviously would in the situation above) and he agreed to go back to being friends, it's because on some level he feels you may get together again. It might not be a conscious decision, but it is what he's thinking.

When my ex-fiancée and I broke up, I was a wreck for a few weeks because that's a really painful situation, but even after I was okay with it and even after I said "This is probably for the best." I still wasn't REALLY over it. I had come to a place where I was functional and not thinking about things all the time. That's not the same thing.

The first time she flirted with some other guy, even though I knew her well enough to know that she would never do anything with that guy and that even if she did, it was her decision, even with all of that, when she flirted with some guy it absolutely KILLED me.

It was more infuriating and frustrating than the break up itself.

Feelings don't just go away. Even if your guy is determined to be there as a friend and even if he works really hard to push all that emotion down, he still thinks of you as "his."

You mentioned that he has a girlfriend. So what? She's not a REPLACEMENT. She's something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

You can't be replaced. You're his and he will always have some feelings for you.

His new girlfriend is a separate issue as far as he's concerned.

I hope this helps.

[Bduffman1234]

Does he pull that when she is there as well? Then we might have a cat fight! Now is this verbal flirting or is there touching involved as well, like does he hold your waist or touch your back? I think he just wants some, have you givin' it up while you have broken up before?

[Asker]

Umm he has... on msn when his gf was there (this was on her account) but they were both joking around, I thought it was only his gf because well.. it should only be here and then after I found out that he was there saying most of the jokes (which were sexual)

And there isn't always touching, its all mostly verbal.

The only reason why we broke up was because at the time we weren't living in the same city and he couldn't handle a long distance relationship.

[Bduffman1234]

So does he have a girlfriend or not really confused, but it seems like you convinced yourself whatever you needed to

[Asker]

Yes, he does have a girlfriend, I said that in the first post and in the other comment.

And convinced myself of what? I just wanted some male feedback on why he would do that because he makes me feel really awkward when he does... and I just think its weird because if you are dating someone, you shouldn't be doing those things with someone else.

It's actually gotten to the point where sometimes I don't want to hang out with him on occasion because I don't feel like being awkward all day.