What does it mean when your ex says you can't be friends?

[Anonymous]

I was dating my ex on and off for three years. He recently told me he "lost" interest in me. Not only that we can't be friends. He thinks we should go our separate ways. We have known each other for five years, and our families were good friends. I asked him why would could not even be friends he told me he had a reason but could not tell me that he really wants to but he promises me he cant. He told me it wasn't about anyone else he doesn't like anyone else , he just can't tell me the reason we can't even be friends. Why can't we be friends?

[Anonymous]

Sounds kind of like this is one of those times where what he wants and what he needs are very different, and irreconcilable. He's chosen what he needs. Wants to stay but know he needs to move on, or maybe he feels like he's out grown you or something. Its also possible that he is just being realistic. Its really hard to do in any meaningful way. And if he is really trying to move on talking about being friends isn't something he can do for a while. Trust me someday he will date someone else, and when he does being friends with an ex can complicate sh*t sometimes.

In anycase if your break-up is recent it really hard to say whether something like not being friends will stick or not. Most of the time it does... but time changes things. And I think he doesn't want to leave you any possibility of getting back together.

[Asker]

The break up was this week, and we have broken up several times but he has never said we can't be friends until this time.

[Opinion Owner]

Welll duhhh you guys have broken up a bunch and he knows if you guys are friends you'll get back together and he isn't down with it.

[ankurunderdog]

girl he's lost interest bcoz maybe he was hoping or willing 2 have you back,but you did not take any initiative.wen he saw no initiative he might hav decided 2 move on.

I fear if its too late,u have 2 find it out.Just meet him in any way and give him a hug & a kiss 2 show you love him & want him back,u'll find out wats on his mind.Do dis only if you want him back or else dere's nothin 2 do & you shud actually move on.

[helloyesitsme]

well, it sounds to me like this guy is a loser. have you tried asking your friends what you think you should do? casue I know that they have great advise on this. especially your best friend, me. I aslo think that you lied becasue its been four years and you have never been in a relationship not one of those four years. you've just had "things". so I think its time to move on and get over him. try hooking up with somebody new with out seeing somebody's face. I heard washington dc was a good place to hook up with people. you should try going there.

[Asker]

Hahahahahaahah shutup kendl you know not what you speak of

[esmaygd01]

I think that it sounds like this is hard choice for him to make. He probably loves you and it hurts him to leave but for whatever reason he feels like he has to . I know from experience that seeing someone that you have feelings for as friends never works...at least not right away. If you hang out as friends you'll end up back in a relationship.

[mikkie180]

Because of the secret that he won't tell you.

[Asker]

What kind of secret could there possibly be that he could not tell me?

[mikkie180]

Only God and your ex know that.

[jacquesvol]

He might have a jealous girlfriend.

[Asker]

I was his girlfriend ... he does not have a girlfriend