How long before your ex contacts you during the no contact period?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys. It's been 2 weeks since I implemented the no contact rule. My ex hasn't reached out to me.
Do you think I should move on since he's not appearing in my life? How long does it take for a guy to miss you or does it ever happen?

[Mysterygirl_]

Keep going with the no contact rule. And still move on and there’s not a certain time it takes for an ex to miss you. Focus on you and work on yourself, he may or may not call. One thing I can tell you, if they do call you it’ll be totally unexpected. Move on, don’t waste your life away waiting for somebody to miss you.

[Asker]

Thank you so much! Your words give me hope. Have you ever done the no contact rule? Did that work for you?

[Mysterygirl_]

I officially started my no contact rule early August. My ex texted me and I never responded. The trick is don’t even tell them “I’m never talking to you again “ just do it! They won’t know what ever happened to you and they just might hate it. Ever since I did the no contact rule I’ve been happier, it’s really nice not having a toxic ex in your life anymore.

[Asker]

What day of the no contact did he text you and what did he say? You're so strong, you could ignore it. If I get a text from my ex I'd probably die from happiness. But you see, he never wanted me to leave. He gave me that " I want to be friends with you, I love you, I need you in my life but I don't want a relationship with you" crap and I told him - I can't be friends with you cause my feelings are different. If you change your mind contact me, until then please don't. And I went no contact. Since then I haven't heard a peer from him, the only thing he does is post sad love songs and depressive quotes on his FB. I want him back so badly and I know that the no contact is my only chance. But I lose hope cause it's been 2 weeks and he hasn't contacted me. I just feel that he thinks I'm gonna run to him myself but I won't this time.

[Mysterygirl_]

Ok! I had to get my dates together. I started no count rule back in June 7th but in like 3 weeks (June 20th) He texted me and I gave in so I did it AGAIN and on July 26 he ft me apologizing for leaving me. So we was cool and talking then on August 4th he texted me and never heard from me again. He sees me in school but I act like he’s dead and walk right past him🤷🏾‍♀️

[Mysterygirl_]

Oh and the first time he said Hey, the second time he called, and the third time he said heyy. The third time was when i stopped all contact

[AzureGirl]

Why would he reach out if you've made it clear you don't want contact with him? If you want to talk to him then talk to him.

[Asker]

I can't because I told him to come to me if he realizes he's still in love with me. What's the point of reaching out to him if he just wants to be friends with me.

[AzureGirl]

Well then if he hasn't then it's probably best to move on. Don't just sit and wait around for that small chance he'll reach out one day.

[Asker]

Yes that's what I'm trying to do. To forget him and move on. But I wonder if 2 weeks are enough for it. Maybe he needs more time or if it's his ego

[Natalie_natty]

I think you should move on and he is probably doing the same thing that's why he hasn't reached out to you.

[Asker]

Do you think 2 weeks apart are enough to came to the sad conclusion that he really doesn't want to have anything to do with me? Could it be his pride? Because his ego is too big

[MrHotPants]

well if you wanted him to contact you, you shouldn't have put a "no contact rule" first off. if you want to talk to him then talk to him, you should be straight forward with your intentions in a relationship. not this beating around the bush crap

[Asker]

That's exactly what I did. I told him I cannot be friends with him. I want a relationship. He said he wanted everything but a relationship. So I made it clear that staying with him as a friend would be too painful for me because I want more and I love him and I'm leaving and please contact me if you want a relationship.

[MrHotPants]

ok now that makes sense, he just wants to have sex without the relationship. now if thats what you want to do then go for it, but in my experience it never works out in the long run. from what im reading it sounds like thats not what you want so i would move on

[Asker]

So you think he wouldn't change his mind even if he loves me? He probably doesn't though if he doesn't want the relationship. So he won't contact me and I should just move on.

[MrHotPants]

if he actually loved you, then you wouldn't be in this situation.

[Asker]

Yes I know you're right. Could be his pride though? Because I know he's hurting right now. He posts sad love songs on his Facebook and things about waiting and depression.

[MrHotPants]

so, coming from completely outside the relationship, and based off of what you have told me alone, i dont see what his pride has to do with anything. he sounds like a young man (teens/early 20's) who doesn't quite know what he wants yet anf isn't looking for someone to settle down with, but someone to fuck with instead

[Asker]

When we just started dating he fell really hard for me. And I did too. And after a while he wanted to make it official. Then we had a huge argument and then another one and he changed his mind about me and decided to break it off yet he couldn't be without me and wanted us to be friends and we tried for a week or two and it didn't work. Then I decided to leave and told him to contact me if he changes his mind. that's briefly how it all went. I know he still loves me and why I think it's his pride because it has happened before. When we had that first argument I left for 3 days and then I came back and he was so happy but told me that he would never chase me because he'd done it before and like it was my turn now

[MrHotPants]

it shouldn't be about "turns" its about the willingness to put in the work for your relationship. if he loves you, like really loves you, then he would be willing to work on the relationship and so should you. it sounds alittle like when things get rough you pack up and leave and thats not a heathly way to lead a relationship, all that causes is pain and resentment

[MrHotPants]

my apologies i miss read your last comment, i thought you left both times, but with him leaving the first time remember how that made you feel? that pain doesn't just "go away" when you get back together

[Asker]

Yes you're probably right about me packing up whenever things get rough. But I only do that because I want him to prove to me that he really needs me. Maybe it's a foolish, girly way to do so but it's my idiotic nature and I do realize that and I probably put him through hell while doing so. But he isn't an angel either and he doesn't want to work on the relationship either. He gave up after the two arguments.
Anyway what do you think I should do right now? There's no way for me to ever reach out to him because I left asking him to contact me if he changes his mind and if he hasn't reached out to me, he hasn't changed it and prefers to suffer all alone posting depressive things. What am I to do? Wait? Move on?

[Asker]

Oh and another thing. He probably doesn't believe it that I seriously left. He thinks I come back anyway because it has happened twice before. One time I left and came back myself after 3 days, then the other time he made me back after a week, but now it's been 2 week and nobody makes a move.

[MrHotPants]

my advise: move on, the relationship seems to be tarnished with a lot of pain and resentments and if either party isn't willing to put in the time and effort then its not worth more pain being caused. nobody is perfect, but you can use this relationship to help better form the next one. good luck and godspeed.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your time and your wise advice. I will try to move on even it' hurts like hell because I love him.
But somewhere deep inside I believe he will come back to me. They say if you let a love go it comes back to you if it's yours..

[aapunpred]

Lol... No contact rule. Damn thats a new one. I prefer it that way so I ain't got to think about the girl when we break up. Makes it an easier transition.

[Asker]

But you're gonna think of her anyway, right? That's how our brain works. You cannot forbid yourself not to think or miss your girl right?

[Anonymous]

If you implemented the rule why would you want him to?

[Asker]

Because he offered to be friends and said he wanted me in his life and I said it was too painful for me because I love him. And I left telling him that I will always wait for him to come back if his feelings change. And he said he will if they do but it's been 2 weeks and nothing.

[Astoriana]

Yes. Move on. Bigger and better things.

[Asker]

Thanks. I know I have to.. but he's still the biggest and best thing that ever happened to me and I screwed it all up.

[Astoriana]

No.

You are the biggest and best thing in your own life. Until you can accept that, live it and breathe it, you will always be unhappy. Your relationships will always fail. We accept the love we think we deserve. You have to learn that are allowed to love yourself without it making you a narcissist.

[oriander1]

What the fuck is that for?

[Asker]

Wth what for? The no contact rule? To give him the time to think if he wants to be with me like we were before.

[oriander1]

So you drive him away?

[Asker]

Drive him away? But how? I thought by giving him some space and time without me he'd sort his feelings out and miss me and our relationship. That's what those relationship couches say.

[oriander1]

I have never heard of that but I've heard out of sight out of mind a million times...

[Asker]

So you think he will just forget me and move on with his life? If you loved a girl and she'd leave you, would you start missing her and want her back?

[oriander1]

Not if she told me not to talk to her then id think she wanted nothing to do with me. Duh

[Asker]

But I told him I love him and the only reason why I'm leaving is because I cannot agree to just be friends with him. Because we were in a romantic relationship before.