My girlfriend hangs out with another guy and then breaks up with me? She fools around and then wants me back?

My girlfriend started working a new job and has been hanging out with these guys from her work. She says she's not the kind of girl that really has many girl friends and gets along with guys better. I didn't feel to good about this but I trusted her. But I deep down felt jealous that she was hanging out with other guy 'friends' more than me. We only get to see each other on the weekends mostly. We have had a solid relationship for 2 years. She started saying that we were spending less time together and kind of drifting a part since I started working more. Before I didn't have a job and she has made me feel bad many times cause her and her parents really wanted me to have a job.

So our birthday weekend was here, our birthdays are a day apart. The night before my birthday she says she was going out to a movie with her 'friends'. On my birthday she told me that she laid her head on this guys shoulder for like 5 minutes the night before and felt really bad about it. This broke me heart. She came over later and I still gave her all the presents, love letters, and flowers but it sucked. I brought her out somewhere nice cause I thought we should still go and it was just crying and things, not a good evening. She takes to the idea that we should take a break, and I agreed cause I was so hurt. She said it was because she thought we were drifting apart and because she felt bad of what she did. That she needed time to think and be alone. She said multiple times that she wasn't just doing this to hook up with other guys. The next few days were rough. I noticed she took me off her facebook relationship thing. So I took her off mine. She called me and was like, hey you took me off your relationship thing. And she said it would probably be best to breakup I agreed out of hurt. She kept hanging out with people and telling them about her problems and things while I just morned at home and what not. I thought I should get out and be social like she was doing. I went to a party with my friends got kind of drunk and didn't do anything. The next day she calls me and says I feel bad I have to tell you something. That same night that I went out, she went on date with another guy, a movie I guess. Then afterward they made out for like 10 minutes in the car. He fingered her and she gave him a short hand job(but didn't finish the job). I asked her for details she said that they moved to the back seat and it was really awkward and the guy was like a third the size of me. I don't know if she was trying to make me feel better or what. But she wants to get back with me and she said it was a big mistake. I told her she was my first kiss and that this really hurt me. I feel like she wanted this to happen by going on this breakup. She said it wasn't cheating cause we were broke up. She said she was just trying to move on. She said she still loved me and wants me back. What do I do? I really miss her and love her but I am so hurt.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok so as a girl I've been in her position and I knew exactly what I was doing the whole time. Didn't want to admit it but I really did. I was my boyfriends first everything, like she was your first kiss, I was his. First of all, it's not right for her to be hanging out with guys alone, sure they may be friends but she knows what she's doing, guys do tend to flirt, if anything, she should have brought you along if they were just friends. You know, like a group hangout. You DO NOT need to jump back into a relationship with her, if she wants to be with you, she needs to prove that she's not going to just break up with you again because you two are drifting. If you're drifting, you work things out. You talk about it and try to find a solution. As in making plans to do different things with each other. Like try something new, the zoo, aquarium, botanical gardens, putt putt, museums, whatever you're into. (I know they were kind of similar ideas, I just couldn't think of anything.) If you jump back into a relationship, the problem is still going to exist. And she's right, she didn't cheat but she knew she was doing something wrong and she knows she hurt you. Guaranteed you're hurting more than she is, even if she "felt bad." You guys just need to hang out and "talk" but don't take her right back, she doesn't deserve it.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Oh please please don't take this girl back. She doesn't care for you enough to not fool around with other guys. She is nothing but a heartache and games. The fact that she went out with another guy the day before your bday and laid on his shoulder shows her devotion to you. If this girl truly loved you then she wouldn't even be hanging out with other guys. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. She obviously likes the attention she is getting from other guys. And even though you two weren't together when she fooled around with another guy it is still a slap in the face. If she really loved you she wouldn't want anything to do with other guys even after the breakup. Please just find a way to move on because this girl isn't done breaking your heart.

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  • She is not worth it.

    You deserve a girl who will make the effort to see you, not just complain that she never gets to see you, while she goes out with other people. If those other people are really 'just friends' then she should have invited you out with them so you could meet them and be friends with them too.

    You guys were on a 'break' with plans to hopefully get back together. Therefore, she did cheat on you. If it wasn't cheating, then she wouldn't feel guilty about it. If she was wanting to end it with you and try some other guys, then she should have completely ended it with you.

    Now it's your turn to end it. Let her know that she hurt you but you can't take her back. It is never going to work out for you guys now, so take the opportunity to meet somebody better, and let her go so that she can grow up and hopefully move on too.

    Remember all the good times you had with her over the last 2 years, but know that it is over now and it's time for you to make some new memories with someone else. Maybe you guys can still be friends later on down the road, but you have to stand up for yourself and end it right away before you get even more hurt.

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  • You can do better, she doesn't sound faithful. Also, never trust a girl who says they have no "girl" friends. It basically means other women don't trust them enough to have them relatively close to their boyfriends, lol.

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  • ok big mistke she did. huge!

    look if you cheat on someon or plan to keep it to yourself. you vbrought this upon yourself now suffer.

    as fpor you dear friend, move on smeon that is hurting you is not love. if you do decide to save this relationship, do go to counseling.

    best of luck

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  • maybe she can change. Maybe she does realize you are the one. Maybe.. it's up to you to take that risk to take her back... I think you know what you really want. I mean, giving someone a second chance is not so bad. Maybe a 3rd chance is sort of bad though... just saying.

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What Guys Said 5

  • She DID CHEAT ON YOU! She broke up with you to go screw around with other guys and now wants you back. Being in a relationship means you are with that person. You can't just say "We're not dating this week" then screw whoever you want. Kick her ass to the curb and tell her to get AIDS or something. Women try this all the time. Trust me, there are a lot hotter women out there who will be much better in bed.

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  • I would prob just leave her for a bit. if you take her back so quick she will always do the same. She is running back because her rebound was not what she felt like it was. the grass wasn't greener on the other side. She might of told you the truth to be honest, or she might of just said these stuff to get you annoyed. I dunno. Don't rush back to her, if she can't respect you enough then make her work for you. if she doesn't you know for sure what she is really feeling.

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  • Another "leave her" vote to add to your collection. She knew the whole time what she was doing. I guess since you all were technically taking a break, it doesn't matter what she does. But to me, it does. She took this break to get her thoughts straight, yet she felt like she needed to mess with other guys? Yeah right. It sounds like she was confused about if she still felt for you or not and thought that she wanted someone else. But once she hung out with them, she realized otherwise. She has shown that she isn't sure if she likes you, you need someone to be certain with you. Not some girl that wants to have flings. Leave her behind and find someone better.

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  • Punt the skank to the curb. You deserve better.

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  • I didn't feel like reading the whole thing, but I know the answer solely from the title. Don't take her back. She isn't worth your time.

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