Why did my cheating ex text me?

[Anonymous]

We dated for 1.5 years. We broke up about a month ago. He texted me “hello” last night. I did not reply. I still love him, but i can’t see him the same anymore.

[sadkat]

People make mistakes and if he only cheated once and both of you guys really did love each other then I don't see why you can't give him another shot. My Uber driver once said (after hearing me cry to my friend about my boyfriend cheating on me) "Cheating once may be a mistake, cheating twice is choice, cheating three times means its personal" I've always kept that In the back of my mind since. He was very wise and gave some great advice in my opinion... I say If you love the guy and you can give him a second chance without bringing up the past then I say go for it.

[Asker]

I mean. He cheated more than once. He was sexting a girl for a few months behind my back, and messaging tons of girls flirting with them. He didn’t admit it, i pieced everything together. I don’t believe he loves me, i just offered him a lot. I will always be suspicious of him and paranoid about all the girls he follows and messaged. Sometimes love isn’t enough :/

[Staffi]

That is acctually good adwise im gonna remember that thank you

[sadkat]

oh hell no girl... leave him alone. You already let him go a month ago. If you're having a hard time getting over him then find something to occupy your mind like a hobby or hanging out with friends.. He is a worthless and will not change.. I was in the same situation and I can tell you, you will only be hurting yourself.. Let him go and block his number ITS A TRAP

[sadkat]

@Staffi No problem, Glad I could help (:

[9teen]

Don't be irrational. You can't trust someone who hurt you really bad and did not care about you when it happened. Cut him out of your life because he ain't worth it.

[grimtigress]

i think you know why, trust your gut with that shit and good luck

[Anonymous]

.. Because you didn't block, delete, move on... which should be standard practice when removing toxic people from your life.

This is what happens when you leave the door open... the devil invites himself back into your life, back into your thoughts, and back into your energy. All very easily avoided.

The real question is why you left the door open...

By asking ''why did my cheating ex text me?'' You are removing your own accountability.

[Asker]

Because, i figures he blocked me. I wouldn’t need to block his number. I have him blocked on all social media platforms. Also, i wanted to see if he would message me and apologize for all the things he did. But, he did not. So, now i am just curious. I don’t believe his intentions are to right his wrongs... he didn’t want to work to fix what happened. A call would have been nicer than a message. But, i am not sure i want him back. He messaged me as soon as i was close to moving on.

[Opinion Owner]

Most of us are so good at lying to ourselves.

''i figures he blocked me. I wouldn’t need to block his number.''

The truth is, you left the door ajar because you wanted to hear from him. Whether he called to apologize or not would not take back what happened, therefore it's a fallacy at this point. It was an excuse to leave the door slightly open.

Women cannot seem to leave their ex's where they belong... in the past... and that is part of why so many end up damaged.

[waynej200]

He maybe feeling regrets or remorse. Its not about u in that case but more or less feels guilty for his actions

[Asker]

Well he can go away. It doesn’t take a month to realize you are in the wrong. I am so infuriated.

[waynej200]

Ur not the first, my girls sister got broken up with for the first time and he gave her the clap and obviously cheated on her many times. But she's hooked on him for a year now. U need to cut all ties and communication to him in every way

[Asker]

I asked him “why did you message me” and he didn’t answer.

[waynej200]

Is that a problem or a solution? Maybe your holding on still too?

[Asker]

It’s confusing. Why would he message me and then not reply when i asked why? I was thinking maybe he wanted to apologize for his cheating. Or, to find out why he had messaged me for an ego boost.

[waynej200]

Threaten him that you need this back and forth to stop and that you think its best that you both stopped talking or any contact of any sort. Tell me his reaction.

[Asker]

I told him a lot of things. I told him “you messaged me because you’re lonely and have no one to be with? You are a man child, acting like a little kid. Don’t play games” and i said a lot more. But, this is the gist of it. His phone says he hasn’t read the messages yet.

[waynej200]

Let me ask u something, what exactly do you want from this cuz your just going to piss him off. No ones going to be a winner here. Do you want him? Do you want closure? Or do you want him to leave you alone?

[Asker]

I want him to apologize to me, and then leave me alone. He clearly does not want me. And piss him off? He’s pissed me off!!

[waynej200]

So you just want him to apologize and ask you back, so you can either have him back and treat him like shit, or deny him, or plainly get revenge. You have no good intentions with what your doing sorry but its true. You want him to hurt cuz he hurt you and your being obsessed with it. Your wasteing your time. He won't give you the satisfaction of giving you the win here. Look he cheated, men dont cheat for why most women think. It wasn't cuz he didn't like you or that he wanted to hurt you, most likely it was simply cuz a girl presented herself to him when he was vulnerable to his hormones and gave in thinking with his dick not his head. He didn't do it with any intent to hurt you im sure of it. Almost all guys dont think like that. Especially at a teen or early 20s age, and judgeing on your response, you both are teens.

[waynej200]

Look, your just hurting your self by thinking the worst. It happens to all of us. Your hurt, i get that as anyone in ur shoes would be. But what your doing isn't healthy, the sooner you can forgive yourself for letting yourself be caught up in this, the better and you can move on and find a guy who values you more.

[winterfox10]

Obviously he wants you back... The real question is whether or not you want him back. If you have any self respect at all, you won't respond to that message.

[Asker]

If he wanted me back, I don’t think a simple, “hello” is good enough. A phone call would speak louder to me. I am not sure i want him back. I know i offered him a lot and his life was better with me. But, he said he cheated because he was miserable. So why would he want someone back that he was miserable with? Makes no sense.

[winterfox10]

Because it's more comfortable. If he cheated, it was his way of filling some hole in his life. You covered a lot of things, but not the thing that the other girl did. Now he doesn't have either of you. So everything that both you and the other girl were taking care of, he now has to deal with on his own.

Now he is single, and he's the douche who cheated. So he's desperate because being the douche who cheated and worked things out is better than being the douche who cheated and lost it all.

[Asker]

I’m not sure what she offered. I guess she was more freedom, or an escape. We were going through a really bad time (but i was hurting and sad too - i didn’t look for someone else to give me attention and love and not fight with). It makes me angry, because he sexted her a lot of times and would give her the attention i wanted. I feel he is a twisted person. Yes, the cheating probably has to do with him and his ego. This is making me angry. It was his choice to mess up. I don’t think i could ever trust him, or see him the same. I’d also probably be more inclined to cheat on him, and I’m 100% against cheating.

[Asker]

I asked him “why are you messaging me?”. He just left it on read.

[winterfox10]

Well he knows he has your attention now. That's what he wants

[ravedave]

Who knows, who cares. Block his number and cut him from your life. As hard as it is to accept, cheaters are garbage people, you don't need him in your life.

[Gedaria]

I know it hurts but don't you want to know why he did it?

[Asker]

I do.

[Gedaria]

To do that you have to talk to him ,, sadly !!!

[Alwayreckles93]

Girl block him you he had a choice and he decided to cheat on you. No you don't hae to forgive him. Like its been said once a cheat always a cheat. You don't need him. Block him !

[stepyo99]

He probably regrets it, but that doesn't mean you should let him back into your life. Blocking him and moving on is the best thing for your mental health.

[clintonisinpune]

He wanted some booty. You did the right thing by not replying.

[Mrblueballs42]

well keep in mind once a cheater always a cheater. Maybe he wants a one night stand or cheat on his girlfriend with you.

[scribner]

He’s just trying to sleep with you until he finds the next girl.

[Caaarl]

Probably trying to get his own closure on what has happened.

[Alwayreckles93]

Excuses , excuses. Younen live us for a mih younger woman. And no i am not in my 20's im actually 30 an way michmore better looking then a 21 year old.

[evank]

He's testing the waters. Don't give in. He did you dirty

[Asker]

I can’t get over someone being that selfish. Should i just not answer? Or tell him to leave me alone?

[UptightLight]

Ignore him. It's a clearer message.

[evank]

Yeah, I'd say ignore him. It's even more of an F you to him. Don't even grant him the courtesy of a response

[TamedSoul]

He wants to get laid.

[Asker]

He didn’t seem to have an issue finding girls to have sex with behind my back...

[Rainychoc]

He missed you. Just ignore him

[PrinceNeo]

He's looking for someone to bang out

[Waffles731]

He thinks he can still screw you over

[Asker]

That’s what i thought. The last time we talked, he threw my past in my face and the mistakes i made with my boyfriend when i was 18, which was 4 years ago. He tried to make what he did not seem as bad by comparing my past to his actions :/ he just wants his cake and to eat it too.

[motownplayer2000]

Probably lonely and needs a booty right about now.

[Asker]

He has no problem getting booty from others when he had me.

[motownplayer2000]

Haha which is why he wants you back. Most men come back to what they are comfortable with... Sad to say... Glad you stayed strong and are not taking the bait.

[Asker]

It’s just, he was able to find various other girls to flirt with and sexy. He shouldn’t have had virtual relationships if he wanted the real thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

I want to reply back and say “go message your other girls that you like so much “ lol

[motownplayer2000]

No, then you would be sucked into his bullshit... I'll tell you the thing that gets guys the most is not being able to control the situation.. he can't control the situation if you don't respond...

[Asker]

I asked him “why are you messaging me?” He didn’t reply. Then i stupidly send the screenshots of my proof of him cheating. He read it and then didn’t reply.

I think he just wanted to see if i was still around. :/ whatever.

[motownplayer2000]

Yeah you got sucked into it. He knows you are still their and working out a plan to see if he can get what he wants.. probably. I hope it all works out for you!

[Asker]

He can’t get what he wants. I went off on him. I told him “too bad i won when you messaged me ;)” but he can’t have me. I don’t want him anymore.

[motownplayer2000]

Good. Stay strong!

[Asker]

I am just confused why he said “hello” 2 days after he told me he didn’t need me in his life and told me “good riddance” lol 🤔

[motownplayer2000]

Don't over think it. Either get the closure you need from him or move on. Being in limbo will not help you out of the situation.

[Asker]

He won’t give it to me. He just reads the messages i send and then blocks me and unblocks me.

[mac_daddy416]

People make mistakes. Are u perfect?

[Asker]

I’m not perfect, no. But, when i found out he cheated, he blocked me for 2 weeks. Then apologized. But, he didn’t want to make it work with me. So...

[mac_daddy416]

I know how he feels i been there. As the person who the bad deef he feels dirty. He feels like he doesn't deserve u. That ur better off without him.

[Asker]

I don’t know. He was doing multiple things behind my back. Sexting another girl, messaging tons of girls complimenting them and flirting with them behind my back. He didn’t cheat once, he cheated several times. I hope he feels bad. Because he made me feel so worthless inside.

[mac_daddy416]

Ouch his a low life if he did it more than once.

[RaLotus]

Might want to try again, maybe realized mistake

[Asker]

It’s not a mistake to sext a girl for several weeks behind my back, and then message/flirt with multiple other girls :/

[Anonymous]

He want to smash.

[Asker]

lol. He clearly didn’t have a problem getting girls when he had me. Soo?

[Opinion Owner]

So he's a player?

[Asker]

I mean basically. He was talking to so many girls behind my back and sexting them too.

[Opinion Owner]

You think he change his ways?

[Asker]

Not at all. I don’t believe i could ever trust him.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay.

[rockrewls]

Move on...

[dragon9669]

He's horny

[Asker]

Lol, i mean. He had no problem getting girls we were together... so 🤷🏻‍♀️

[dragon9669]

Perhaps you do something special that he misses

[nickdell]

He made a mistake

[Asker]

I don’t think sexting a girl for multiple months and messaging tons of other girls behind my back, complimenting them and flirting with them is a “mistake”.

[nickdell]

It's not a mistake until you realize what you lost

[Asker]

Well, he should lose me. I was 100% loyal.

[nickdell]

You asked why he text you. Just an opinion. He realized what he had and lost

[Asker]

But why would it take having someone, doing them dirty and losing them, to realize what you had at the time? The last words he said to me were “you are a toxic and negative piece of garbage. I don’t need you in my life. Good riddance”. Then he blocked me, and i guess unblocked me because he messaged me.

[nickdell]

Forget him he's not worth the grief.

[Asker]

I feel her immature and doesn’t know what he’s talking about/doing. It’s sad, he’s 25 and acting like a player.

[nickdell]

you've got to ask yourself what effect is this guy having on the quality of your life, your self esteem, what kind of a future you will have with him.
If it's not a good outlook you are just wasting your time with him

[MisterSir]

ask him