Is she trying to keep me for a back up? Help with the ex girlfriend?

[jimmy44]

My ex dumped me after 4 years together. I tried to get her back for last 2 months and made all the classic mistakes. In the last week She text me saying that it wouldn't work if we got back together. Then I seen her a work the next day she said that she misses me and still has feelings for me and that the last 4 years meant so much to her, I will always be special to her and made her happy.

Confused?

Then I found out that she has been on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in last few weeks. I feel like a jackass trying to get back when I found this out.

So I just left it and did not contact her for a week then again I seen her at work and she asked me for a hug. later that night I got a text saying 'thank you I needed that' she asked if I have totally moved on I said I was getting there. Her reply was that she was trying to move on by seeing someone but it was hard to imagine what she had with me with someone else its taking time and she still cares about me.Now she asked to be friends and what's to go to lunch for a chat. I said it might not work out as friends as there is to much history between us. Her reply was she 'whats to really try and be friends and that we used to see each other everyday and then never. Then I got am not wanting you thinking I want to get back together.

Can anyone tell me what's going on in this girls head? Is she trying to keep me for a back up?

[Anonymous]

She just misses having you around. I doubt she's playing you - just misses you. You need to ask her straight out what she wants - either to be with you or not. If not, then you need to stay away. If she wants to be friends, you both need to get over each other before that happens otherwise, her dating other men (while you two are "friends") is gonna p*ss you off and cut you up. Don't get too frustrated when she explains that she's not sure what she wants - that's just how we're tuned...always unsure lol. Just remember, she left you once already - and in the back of your head, you'll probably always remember that...or you'll hold it against her and become all Mr. anal about who she was with, what she was doing etc.

Dude, if I were you I would move on. But hey, it's your head.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she met someone else she wants to hook up with, when she is done with him she will probably come back to you untill she meets someone else etc... you can't really be friends with an ex you end up friends with benefits or tempted to hook up if you OK with that go for it, problem is you can't really get over them and move on etc...