How do I ask if he's over his ex?

[Anonymous]

I have been hanging out with a guy who I really like. We both recently came out of relationships. He was dumped brutally by his ex, and he is a very emotionally open guy so he does talk about it sometimes. I asked him "Do you still like her?" and he said, "No, not anymore." However, when she comes up, he tells me that he liked her very much when they were together. It's true I say the same thing about my ex, but I broke up with him, so it's obvious I'm over him. I'm not officially dating this guy at ALL, so I don't know if it's appropriate for me to ask him about this, but I also don't want to waste my time if they're just going to get back together. What should I do?

[lost-angel]

He sounds like a really nice guy. Maybe he doesn't like to talk bad about other ppl, or people he once respected.

I am totally over my ex, but if someone asked me about him, I would say, I loveED him very much when we WERE together, he WAS a good person, I WAS happy --Note: Past tense.

To know if he is truly over his ex, is by seeing his reactions, about her. Does she still affect him in a way? Like, does he get angry when "she" is brought up? Or when he remembers what she did to him? Does he get depressed and sad when he checks her facebook/myspace, etc? Does he still wonder what she is upto? or what she is doing? Does he make a big deal about it when he hears from her? Try to pay attention to his reactions, when she is brought up.

Just because people talk bad about their ex, and call them names, doesn't mean they are truly over their ex. Because obviously they are still affected by them. This guy doesn't seem like the type who would bad mouth his ex, so pay attention to the other things. Like, does he get sad? Or bothered? etc.

Anyone can easily say "im over 'the ex'", because they want to be. And they want to convince themselves, and others that they are.

But the only way to know you are truly over someone is when you are no longer affected, emotionally, and mentally, by "the ex".

[AJtogo]

It can take some time to get over a relationship that we were emotionally invested in. The longer the relationship, then the longer it usually takes to move on.

If you're worried about wasting your time, then you're probably not that interested in him anyway. Just be friends. If something develops then great. If not, then so what.