The first time me and him ever met he couldn't stop talking about his ex girlfriend. Even on our second date he brought her up about two times... I told him to stop a couple of times and he did.. and the fourth time me and him went out on a date he admitted he wanted to find someone that can make him forget his ex girlfriend. so I accepted it thinking it would stop... and he will get over it sooner or later... but now that we are in a relationship for about 3 months he still kind of brings her up... every once in a while... he told me he was about to marry her and such... and when he talks about her he says "my girl" and not "my ex" which kind of bothers me a lot... its pretty clear he isn't over his ex.. what do I need to do to get him over his ex?will he ever stop? do I leave or stay? someone please help me... because I'm starting to love this guy...
Most Helpful Girl
Beware of being the "rebound girl" google "rebound relationships" and see if yours has any of these signs. It can take months and sometimes years to get over someone and one of the biggest signals that your boyfriend is not over his ex is when you feel she is a third party in the relationship.
In time it may stop but I would ask him honestly about his true feelings and intentions. If he isn't over her it is no reflection on you, maybe the timing is just not right. You can't truly move forward and love someone if there is a part of you that is still looking back...I know this is true. My last boyfriend wasn't over his ex and we ended it after a year...had I have just been his friend and given him time I think our relationship would have blossomed. Within 3 weeks of me he is now with someone else..I wonder what he tells her about me and if I am spoken of. I do get a lot of innnappropriate messages from him that I know she wouldn't like and if I were his girlfriend I DEFINITELY would not like that. Is it so unfair for a man to get involved with someone if he truly is not over his ex...you'll heal his pain and then he'll move on. But maybe he will fall for you even more...however if he was about to marry her that is pretty big...I would say he'd need a good 6 months after her to be ready. If it was only weeks or a few months after that you two started than seriously question the relationship. If he's serious about you he won't let you go. You sound like a lovely girl so don't sell yourself short. Many men do use other women to get over their exes. It doesn't mean you are not lovable or not better, it just means that he isn't ready and until he is over the ex, there is no chance in my opinion that the relationship can blossom. But if you stick it out who knows! Maybe set a deadline for how long you'll stick around and make a "no ex" policy...exes are something that shouldn't be brought up in a relationship I beleive as you are togetehr now and it is a clean slate. Good luck! xo0