Is he over his ex?

[Anonymous]

The first time me and him ever met he couldn't stop talking about his ex girlfriend. Even on our second date he brought her up about two times... I told him to stop a couple of times and he did.. and the fourth time me and him went out on a date he admitted he wanted to find someone that can make him forget his ex girlfriend. so I accepted it thinking it would stop... and he will get over it sooner or later... but now that we are in a relationship for about 3 months he still kind of brings her up... every once in a while... he told me he was about to marry her and such... and when he talks about her he says "my girl" and not "my ex" which kind of bothers me a lot... its pretty clear he isn't over his ex.. what do I need to do to get him over his ex?will he ever stop? do I leave or stay? someone please help me... because I'm starting to love this guy...

[roserose123]

Beware of being the "rebound girl" google "rebound relationships" and see if yours has any of these signs. It can take months and sometimes years to get over someone and one of the biggest signals that your boyfriend is not over his ex is when you feel she is a third party in the relationship.

In time it may stop but I would ask him honestly about his true feelings and intentions. If he isn't over her it is no reflection on you, maybe the timing is just not right. You can't truly move forward and love someone if there is a part of you that is still looking back...I know this is true. My last boyfriend wasn't over his ex and we ended it after a year...had I have just been his friend and given him time I think our relationship would have blossomed. Within 3 weeks of me he is now with someone else..I wonder what he tells her about me and if I am spoken of. I do get a lot of innnappropriate messages from him that I know she wouldn't like and if I were his girlfriend I DEFINITELY would not like that. Is it so unfair for a man to get involved with someone if he truly is not over his ex...you'll heal his pain and then he'll move on. But maybe he will fall for you even more...however if he was about to marry her that is pretty big...I would say he'd need a good 6 months after her to be ready. If it was only weeks or a few months after that you two started than seriously question the relationship. If he's serious about you he won't let you go. You sound like a lovely girl so don't sell yourself short. Many men do use other women to get over their exes. It doesn't mean you are not lovable or not better, it just means that he isn't ready and until he is over the ex, there is no chance in my opinion that the relationship can blossom. But if you stick it out who knows! Maybe set a deadline for how long you'll stick around and make a "no ex" policy...exes are something that shouldn't be brought up in a relationship I beleive as you are togetehr now and it is a clean slate. Good luck! xo

[falendove]

I dated a guy for about two years and I was with him every day of my life (at least it felt like that) and when we broke up and I started dating again, all of my stories were about him because he WAS my best friend and boyfriend. I noticed that I did that often, but not until after I said something. Time will heal his wounds but like someone said beware of being the rebound, he may just be using you to get to the next, or he may be using you to get back at his ex, or maybe he really does like you and he is just like me, and she was his best friend for awhile. It's hard to tell but if you feel that he's into you, just be yourself, let him know what's bothering you and make sure you set him straight on calling her "my girl" because that would completely upset me to unknown levels of anger. Tell him "No, she's not YOUR girl, I am YOUR girl now." Be firm and serious, I'm sure he'll start to get a clue.

[ice01]

You are about to start loving this guy. So, while you’re not investing more of your feelings from this guy stay out of this relationship or rather talk to him. Because obviously he’s not over with his X. he won’t stop until you say so. He love his X, he used you to fill the absences of the other one. I think there’s something wrong with this guy.

Talk to him before your feelings get deeper and deeper or you ended up hurt. The more you invest more feelings the more you get hurt. Ask him you need some space until he get over with his X. because he can't love other person while his still attached with he’s past.

Good luck girl!

[Imsodone101]

The only thing that is going to get him over her is time. That's pretty messed up though. He should at least have the repsect to not mention her around you all the time. That's something he should maybe be talking to his guy friends about, not his current gf.

[cody321]

I had the same thing and I got so mad about it that I ended up really killing the realtionship. We split up and it really hurt me and now id do anything to get him back. I think to myself now if he wanted to be with her he would have been, but the fact that he compared me to his ex in some ways is kinda nice cause I know how much he loved her. Seriously stop worrying about it, if it gets out of hand like he goes on about her ALL day then yeah have words.. but if I was you id learn from other peoples mistakes (aka my own!) and get on with loving him :)

Good luck.

[broken1xx]

get out of this rebound relationship! WHy would you even want to be the rebound girl you are basically used and you even know he is using you. when he isn't so heartbroken he will break up with you. He wants someone there still because he feels depressed and alone with no one in his life for comfort and everything. Just get out of it. You can't built a relationship when his head and heart are already stuck in another