Is he not over his ex?

[Anonymous]

I am seeing a guy that just been out of a long term relationship of 4 years And from what I know he initiated the breakup. We’ve been seeing each other for 3 months. Later I found his youtube playlist which he added some songs about missing his ex and wishing he could turn back time to fix things. The playlist seem to be updated regularly even a day before going on a valentine date with me giving me roses etc.. he was adding a song with lyrics about missing his ex. And a few days after our date he was adding sad depressing songs about life and past relationship.
Is this a red flag , Is he not over his ex?

[Guy13]

Yikes, I can see your reason for concern. I'm assuming "just out of long term relationship" is 6 months or less. I question whether one can emotionally heal from the trauma this quickly. Basically, someone just died in his life. I think you offered enough evidence to suggest that he is not over his Ex, however, I think you are missing his overall strategy as related to breaking away from his Ex of 4 years.

Firstly, as you noticed adding his "relationship songs" on Social Media and pining for her is an indicator of one who is still connected, not letting go, and has not begun grieving the Lost. She is not totally lost in his current state so there will likely be some coming and goings between you both on his part.

Secondly, his strategy, to get over his Ex, is to use you as a rebound girl. It is not going to be successful because he is not available to emotionally connect to you at all. He surely will be body hopping again either after you get fed up with it or the "buzz" of you in his life wears off.

Good luck with it but I would slowly back out and avoid emotional attachment to him.

[rabbitzzz]

You being with him will help him get back his ex. Why not be selfless for once and help a dude out.

[Bethany22]

If he broke up with her rather than the other way around then you might be fine. Depends on whether the songs are catchy or not. If they're practically melodyless, then that's a red flag that he's paying more attention to the lyrics than the music.

[Anonymous]

while you can like 2 people at once, i think it's not a good idea to get in a relationship with a guy who just got out of a 4 year relationship... talk about a rebound.

[Anonymous]

yeah major red flag means he's not over his ex and only using you to get over her as a rebound if you can even call it a rebound

[Zayed_]

He’s not over her.

[HateyouxD]

Ask him