Is my boyfriend over his ex?

[ask_again]

My boyfriend (32yrs) and I (26yrs) met February2024 and started dating March 2024 and it was all lovely until I found out that he travelled back home and was with a girl last December (2023) and I left that be cause he said she came to see him and nothing happened between them cause he just wanted to have fun and she wants a relationship but he can’t date her cause she has a child. Ohh he said they stopped talking and I was ok with that cause it was before me, so few weeks later I was at his place and he was sleeping and I went through his phone and I saw that he still talks to that same girl and I was so pissed but we settled and I told him I can’t be in the relationship if she’s there and he promised he will do the needful which he did. Yesterday was my birthday and he went far and beyond for me, god me a MacBook for school, took me to dinner and got everyone to sing for me at Côte and also decorated the hotel room with my favorite flowers. But I’m bothered that he is likes his ex cause 5days ago his ex came to pic up her things cause he has been trying to make her pick her things up for months so I can move in, he left his place so he will not see and and now I was going through his phone and I saw all their pictures and it pissed me off. I love him but I feel he still holds on to his past and isn’t that free with me and holds back cause he was hurt.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang luv, that's definitely a tricky situation. On one hand, your boyfriend sounds like he was really going all out for your birthday and trying to show you how much he cares. Getting you that MacBook and taking you out for a nice dinner is nothing to scoff at. But at the same time, I can see why you'd still be wondering about him and his ex if he's keeping all their pictures together and stuff.

I'd try talking to him again about where his head is at with her. They clearly had some history if she was leaving things at his place, so that past isn't going to just disappear overnight. Reassure him you're not trying to be crazy jealous or anything, you just want to make sure he's truly moved on before you fully commit to the relationship. Maybe he needs more time to fully get over her, or maybe part of him still holds onto some feelings. Only he can be really honest about that. Keep the communication open and let him know your worries, but also show him you're willing to work through it as long as he does the same. Hopefully he realizes what he's got with you now and cuts the last few strings still attached to his ex. Trust takes time to rebuild - keep giving him chances as long as he's putting in the effort too.

[Anonymous]

If your description is THAT long, separate it into short paragraphs leaving a space in between or else almost nobody will read it.

That’s a headache.

Very little people are going to sit to read all that when it’s all crammed up.

[Anonymous]

Ask him already

[ask_again]

I spoke to him about it and he said he deleted them from his phone but his phone was stolen when we started dating and he got a new phone so they were backed up to the iCloud and he said he will delete them and he is sorry. He listens when I say I don't like something's and takes action but I tired of talking about girls his past

[Opinion Owner]

That’s what a friend told me his phone got stolen and his Facebook account was hacked but yet he never added me back. That’s a lie.