My ex says she's over me but I don't believe it?

[Anonymous]

my ex says she's over me but I don't believe it because she has said this before and we got back together, we've been on and off for a while, how do I get her back and make her want me

[ArtistBboy]

I had the same situation for 4 years.. My situation WILL vary from yours, but here's my thoughts about if I wanted to try it again - what could I change.

I noticed that our relationship was bland and boring.. Mainly seemed like a FWB -> I'd wake up, shower, kiss her on the forhead, leave for work, go to school, come home, make dinner, play around sexually, go to sleep, rinse&repeat..

- That type of relationship is routine and very bland from exciting.. Women like spontaneous texts and long conversations.. They want an ambitious "go-getter" of a man who knows where his life is headed.. In theory, make sure you are providing for her womanly needs as much as she is fulfilling your manly needs.

I also noticed that I would let my anger and frustration build over insignificant issues in our relationship.. I spent countless months dwelling: "Is today the day that I've had it? That I can finally walk away".. And in turn it got me to the end result, but I never took action to rectify the problem before.. When I had the chance to do so.

- If you TRUELY love someone, you'll push through the bullsh*t/drama/etc to see the real person on the otherside.. That DOESN'T mean you will tolerate it; it means you will deal with the issues before they become a problem, and when they are a problem that you will address them appropriately, maturely, and swiftly.. TOGETHER

I noticed that as time progressed that I didn't notice any "appreciation" for what I was doing.. It felt like I broke my back for this girl and I really didn't appreciate her cleaning the house/etc.. So she probably felt the same way.. But I just wanted her to rub my back when I had a rough day or something sweet, ya know? Something to make me feel loved.

- Remember and do the small things WHEN THEY MATTER.. Doing them "just because" makes you look like a doormat.. But if she's in a pinch, go out of your way to help her out, even if you can't tolerate it anymore. You'll reap the rewards later for being a good boyfriend ;)

Patience / tolerance / etc..

- Meditate man, bite your tongue, curse at the trees.. Whatever it takes.. NEVER talk sh*t about your spouse.. Have a little, imaginary switch, to your emotions and learn to flip that switch "off" when things get too heated.. Take a jog around the block and come back when you're level headed..

And lastly but most importantly: Don't be demanding, be commanding

- Women don't like ultimatums either, but they LOVE it when they can feel a man wants them around. That's why most guys who say: "If you love me, you'll come over here" get dumped.. And the guys we perceive as assholes, who say: "Get over here" get praised.. This one truly bewildered me for a while, but it makes perfect sense.

Hope the tips help, good luck to you and yours!

~ ArtistBBoy

[daysgobye]

It's when you stop being you, all the little things, that kills us or the past. A girl is sensitive we want you to say we look beautiful and that you want us that you love us etc. that your eyes are only on us.