my ex says she's over me but I don't believe it because she has said this before and we got back together, we've been on and off for a while, how do I get her back and make her want me
My ex says she's over me but I don't believe it?
What Girls Said 1
It's when you stop being you, all the little things, that kills us or the past. A girl is sensitive we want you to say we look beautiful and that you want us that you love us etc. that your eyes are only on us.0
What Guys Said 1
I had the same situation for 4 years.. My situation WILL vary from yours, but here's my thoughts about if I wanted to try it again - what could I change.
I noticed that our relationship was bland and boring.. Mainly seemed like a FWB -> I'd wake up, shower, kiss her on the forhead, leave for work, go to school, come home, make dinner, play around sexually, go to sleep, rinse&repeat..
- That type of relationship is routine and very bland from exciting.. Women like spontaneous texts and long conversations.. They want an ambitious "go-getter" of a man who knows where his life is headed.. In theory, make sure you are providing for her womanly needs as much as she is fulfilling your manly needs.
I also noticed that I would let my anger and frustration build over insignificant issues in our relationship.. I spent countless months dwelling: "Is today the day that I've had it? That I can finally walk away".. And in turn it got me to the end result, but I never took action to rectify the problem before.. When I had the chance to do so.
- If you TRUELY love someone, you'll push through the bullsh*t/drama/etc to see the real person on the otherside.. That DOESN'T mean you will tolerate it; it means you will deal with the issues before they become a problem, and when they are a problem that you will address them appropriately, maturely, and swiftly.. TOGETHER
I noticed that as time progressed that I didn't notice any "appreciation" for what I was doing.. It felt like I broke my back for this girl and I really didn't appreciate her cleaning the house/etc.. So she probably felt the same way.. But I just wanted her to rub my back when I had a rough day or something sweet, ya know? Something to make me feel loved.
- Remember and do the small things WHEN THEY MATTER.. Doing them "just because" makes you look like a doormat.. But if she's in a pinch, go out of your way to help her out, even if you can't tolerate it anymore. You'll reap the rewards later for being a good boyfriend ;)
Patience / tolerance / etc..
- Meditate man, bite your tongue, curse at the trees.. Whatever it takes.. NEVER talk sh*t about your spouse.. Have a little, imaginary switch, to your emotions and learn to flip that switch "off" when things get too heated.. Take a jog around the block and come back when you're level headed..
And lastly but most importantly: Don't be demanding, be commanding
- Women don't like ultimatums either, but they LOVE it when they can feel a man wants them around. That's why most guys who say: "If you love me, you'll come over here" get dumped.. And the guys we perceive as assholes, who say: "Get over here" get praised.. This one truly bewildered me for a while, but it makes perfect sense.
Hope the tips help, good luck to you and yours!
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