Found out my ex's grandma died, what should I do?

[x0Reba0x]

I just let go of my ex but we weren't necessarily in a relationship we were just together but I wanted a relationship but he didn't so I said I was moving on cause all we did was hang at his house and do stuff and I wanted more than that so I said bye to him. But a few days past sense we stopped texting.

I just found out that his grandmother died and I feel awful:( I then texted him asking if he was okay. I feel sick to my stomach. and I don't know what to do. I feel horrible, like a bad person for just leaving him like that. I still care for him. Please help

[TheStrugglingEnglish]

Okay where to begin...

First he is dealing with the death of a loved one and if you two were close then go spend time with him, he needs it and will never admit it. DON'T be pushy in getting him to spend time with you right now and do not be discouraged if he does not want to see you right away. He will be clinging to whom every he is closest too in his family circle and if there is no one in that circle he will turn to some activity... NOT to some person. Give him a few weeks to numb up.

Second as to your relationship issue. The usual model is guy ask girl to date girl says yes or girl says no. Most guys are very afraid of rejection and more likely to face it than any female, he needs to be sure that it is what both of you want and that both of you will continue to want that for longer than a little while (even assholes don't onenightstand their friends). I say go for it but, be smart. You are in a very good position to start things off. Since you are not 18 I cannot condone my standard jump him and see where it goes advice. Best option if you in a conversation with him (IN PERSON!) keep eye contact. Keep getting closer to him and if you can hold inside 1' for ten seconds without him becoming uncomfortable then go for a kiss. Basically turn the atmosphere into romantic-tension-ish see how he reacts and if you think you have a shot in that moment then COMMIT, half way and then embarrassed will make thing so much worse. Either way he is a dude and will get over it soon and you can be friends again if it does not work out for you.

Sincerely Yours

The Struggling English Grad Student

[rachiee]

You weren't wrong for leaving him. You wanted more out of the relationship that he wasn't willing to give. A relationship should be an agreement between BOTH people about what they want, not just one person accepting something that they aren't happy with for the other person. Don't tear yourself down because you were just looking out for yourself and did the best thing for you which was tell him how you feel and left when you weren't given what you want and need from him. The best thing to do right now is to be his friend and comfort him through this hard time for him.

[Beautee]

He is going through a rough time, I think you should forget about relationship/dating and other things and be there for him as a person. He will appreciate it.

[x0Reba0x]

yeah! I said "I'm probably the last persone you wanna talk to at this moment, but just in case if you need anything or just simply someone to talk to just so you know I'm here! I won't leave unless you tell me too. have a goodnight" does that sound weird or desperate in any way? I wasn't going to desperation I just wanted him to know I was there.

[Beautee]

your message sounds perfect when you are sending it to a boyfriend. but my point was, he lost someone very important in his life. you should not question whether he needs you there or not. just be there. come over to his place and bring him chocolate or take him out to cheer him up. whatever makes him happy. be a friend, not a lover. plus I am sure you are the closest person to him right now (after family of course)

[x0Reba0x]

But he's not my boyfriend :s we went out last year for 11 months and then started talking and spending time together but he didn't want a relationship that's why I left because I didn't wanna get attached because I wanted a relationship. he didn't. And yes your right, ill be there for him as a friend!