How do you get over a trauma bond?

[scoobydoo666]

he was verbally and physically abusive when i was with him. i moved away. now, some days over social media.. he's so kind and caring, others he is offensive dismissive of my feelings and plain mean to me. i always unblock, reach out and run back to him. how do i stop the trauma bond?

[Crystal28]

This is exactly what I went through and I think he did on his end too. Every time we’d fight (which would be quite frequent), he’d block me and ignore me then come back. Our friendship was extremely toxic and more so when sex got involved. Almost a year ago I cut him off and I still feel addicted to what happened, and miss it. It’s going to take time to mentally break free from what happened to you and it’s going to hurt. In the future you need to remember that you are valuable and not run back to people who do not deserve any of your time. It’s easier said than done but one day I promise you will realize how unhealthy it is. Everyday I constantly bully myself for taking his emotional abuse (jealousy, control and possessiveness) and for causing many arguments myself. Toxic relationships and friendships really damage people and we all go through them so take this opportunity to learn from this so that you hopefully never have to deal with this again.

[Crystal28]

**when we had our fight where I cut him off, he of course blocked me then a few weeks later unblocked me but we never really spoke again especially after he found a girlfriend. Until about 3 months he was checking my
Social media every so often even though we don’t follow eachother. So he was probably somewhat addicted to what we had to because it clearly took him a while to fully let every aspect of me go and become serious about his girlfriend.

[Boppy]

I'm not sure what social media you're using, but sometimes there's a feature to only have your posts accessible to people you've friended.
That's what I do, just because I care more about friends than strangers, but it seems handy if you don't want that guy digging around and trying to control your life.

[311WasAnInsideJam]

You can. I have. It's hard to do alone. You need a strong support structure to make you realize they're no good for you.

I used to be slapped around a lot by an ex girlfriend of mine and I was thoroughly convinced that I was nothing without her; just a homeless, jobless addict that deserves to be taught her place.

[ChurchOfIron]

How. DARE. you.

I can't believe you would besmirch my favorite childhood cartoon. Scooby doo was not a satanist. He was Presbyterian.

Well, like any addiction, you take it one day at a time. One minute at a time if need be. And you replace the addiction with healthier addictions. You avoid places which remind you of the addiction. You cut connections with people who enable that addiction. And you get support from other people who have gone through what you've gone through. They probably have a 12-step meeting for something relative to yours. Closest that comes to mind is Emotions Anonymous.

[MannMitAntworten]

Felete your social media, his number, and his email address. Then change your number and email address too. Stay off social media. At least where he can be found. Then meet someone else eventually.

Dropping him is not the end of the world. It only feels like it is.

[JamesBoradil03]

realize that the harm he does will be worse than the good he does. i had that with my dad, and kept returning, i still want to call him, but i know nothing will change. you left for a reason. cut out all contact and block everything, just push him out of your mind.

[Dav1ss]

It's really hard to do and I'd recooment talking to a Councillor pm me If you can its really not easy but try to slowly distance yourself please talk to a therapist it would help you a. Lot

[blutwolfe]

I had one in my previous relationship, the only way I got over it, is because they ended the relationship

[Thieuphunglam]

I use to be in that situation with my ex, i completely blocked him and met new people.

[Anonymous]

No contact. For real.

Validation that is on and off builds a stronger craving that when it’s permanently on. It’s not love, it’s anxiety about the next “fix” like a junkie. So withdraw.

[Chanel1981]

Block him and find a good psychologist to help you move forward

[needhelp777]

I have truama but I don't think I have trauma bond.. I'm sorry what u went through.

[peee__]

Do you have any siblings

[Agape93]

Cut all ties with him and his people. Start being around good people and go to therapy.

[chriscdi]

block him and dont open it, take a break from social media if you have too and find another person, that would help move on from him

[YHL6965]

You need to remember how he truly is, how bad of a person he is. Do not forget that, this is precisely because he harmed you so much that you left him, don't fall into his trap again.

[AngelLily]

Distance yourself from him completely don't fallow him don't look at any of his stuff.

[Anonymous]

All girls love their abusers and guys who treat them like shit, don't worry it's normal, you'll fall in love with another guy who will use you and abuse you amd you're gonna love it

[anametouse]

It's called self love and knowing what you want and refusing to settle for less

[JamesRandiDebates]

You miss the 'gina tingles you got from having an alpha male put you in your place.

[BrownBratzDoll]

Time heals all wounds. STAY AWAY AND SELF LOVE

[Adogdog]

Find someone better and forget about the loser.

[Zoe1998]

I think you need a professional help.

[az1919]

Stop responding to his text first

[Twenty2]

Talk to me