Men vs Women after breakup?

[Dreamy2020]

You can see the differences in mens and womens reaction after the breakup. Does this apply to you? What do you think? I think this is true when the guy initiates the breakup.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I think it depends from person to person.
To me it mostly happened when I broke up with my ex, but thankfully I had good friends that helped me out and then got with my current fiancée.
Should I go through a break up now, I think I'd just smoke/drink/snort more.

[Soporific-san]

I hope this path doesn't come up. Steer clear of that! Mainly snorting and limiting on drinking.

[Everyoneisplastic]

When my ex broke up with me I was going through a state of emotional numbness. I didn't feel a thing. I feel now like it was probably a good thing. Her mom always says that she wishes her duaghter would've just stayed with me and she's apologized for her daughter a lot. I like her family. They're really nice people (other than her bro). I just don't think her and I were a really good fit and I think that we're really not a good fit now. I'm glad she moved on and hasn't felt regrets about breaking up with me. I think the thing that bothered me the most is when I told my mom and she said "Oh I'm sorry Anon, maybe she'll take you back one day". I don't want her to take me back. I don't want to be with her. I want to be with someone who I can relate with more.

[1Sophisticatedme]

I cry and bawl my eyes out!!! And then I talk to my friends about it to boost my ego up, and convince myself it wasn't meant to be. It still hurts but it takes time for myself to bounce back up!!
Man some are thesame but are more private about it. Depending how they broke up, they can either be disappointed that their relationship fail, or mad about the break up bc the girl is happier than ever. So its all how both people react to the break up. Everyone is different.

[TonyMetal___86]

A couple should always love each other especislly if they are married cause it means forever so no matter what happens, they should fix it and stay together!

[1Sophisticatedme]

@TonyMetal___86 agree.

[DizzyDesii]

Lol ima cry for a day and then im on to the next. Plus someone likely caught my eye before i was on my way out anyways 🤣 sooo... but did i cheat? No. Can i now go make a move since im single again, hells yea!! Honestly, my longest term ex was the only one i cried about for 3 days. But even then, i was talking to someone else by the end of the week. I dont got time to waste 🤷‍♀️

[Dreamy2020]

That is so awesome! I wish I was like you.

[DizzyDesii]

Haha it took me a while to get there

[hellionthesagereborn]

I honestly don't know, I don't have enough experience to say. I was only in one actual relationship which I ended and that was definitley not my response to it. Though she was pressuring me into rushing the relationship along faster then I was comfortable so that might have also been a factor. I'm also very quick to cut people off when things go south (Probably why I don't have a lot of relationships, if a woman flakes on me thats it I'm done talking to her. If she pulls some kind of drama with me again, I'm done with her their is no games with me and I don't beg.) so that also might be another factor for why I don't do this.

[Finchie40]

I guess it mainly comes down to how the break up occurred and how long the relationship was , and if you have answers to why it ended Bottom line I think divorce is probably the worst break up especially if you really loved someone and they betrayed you and left you for someone else , and you were blind sided. My ex wife cheated on me and I busted her I went through a depression but thanks to friends and family I snapped out of it and was able to move forward and started dating , as for my brother his ex wife left him on Christmas 3 years ago and he is still depressed over it cuz he doesn’t have a legit answer as to why she left him , And now that Christmas is coming he isn’t looking forward to it.

[JakeS00]

I would usually be distant and collect myself. Crying and having a moment then do something besides, just resting all the time would be beneficial. I don't believe your perception is accurate on guys after a breakup and their reactions. It's rather a skewed look on a guy's reaction—pure assumption. Some guys aren't like that.

I'm sensitive as it is, so I deal with things differently. When (or I had hopefully don't need to again) initiate a breakup, I really think about it. I don't think it's a happy time but a time of relief because if it was toxic, it's time to move on do something else. Ultimately, it will affect one differently, even the type of situation.

[RemoErdosain]

It's a completely different story for me, but I got cheated on. I'm not over it, but also not crying, and not worse than when it just happened. I don't miss the person: The only thing that remains is pain for the damage done and the betrayal, that's all

[The_Inquisitor]

I think this whole idea is just to put us down.
We all probably react in similar ways, I person of all the break ups i've had? it didn't bother me too much. My personality is "Guess we just didn't click". I will be upset for a couple days but that's it really.

[Mroz75]

After breakup, a man feels more freedom, like set free from talking to her all day, and going out with his friends more, partying more, playing videogames or whatever.. so what happens is the sense of freedom makes him happy, doing what he couldn't do or what was limited because of his relationship, after getting back to normal, he starts to think about her and miss his girl and his emotions start to fall, and come to realisation that he made a mistake...

As for women, women are driven by their emotions much more than men, and that's why after breakup, women tend to cry, be sad, and missing him.. and after sometime she starts to let go, move on, and be happy again, also be free...

Men tend to postpone their emotions while women Don't.

[DJB72]

Statistics show men suffer more mental health issues after a breakup and have a significantly higher suicide attempt rate triggered by the loss of the relationship than women. I'm not referring to the non-serious attention-seeking or manipulative/abusive "attempts", but rather the serious ones.

Men in Western society don't have the space to grieve that kind of loss these days. It's not "manly" for them. So depression takes a bigger impact

[Don-__-Don]

False, I recently gotten out of a relationship about 3 weeks ago.
It's been a month and I feel like I'm over it.

However, have no idea who my ex is doing in terms of the break up. We don't talk as of now.


I mean generally it might be true, but I'm my experience it's false.

[Don-__-Don]

in**

[thimmslicc]

It's true, for me.
Took me 3 days of crying and realizing It's over. No contact as well.
I was better by the end of the week.
Thank god I had friends and family!
Single * ready to mingle and mess with these boys hearts forever.
Joking. Lol.

[abc3643]

The original picture of the one above?

[abc3643]

Yes, that graphic is very often true.

========

www.binghamton.edu/.../

Study: Women hurt more by breakups but recover more fully
August 12, 2015

Women experience more emotional pain following a breakup, but they also more fully recover, according to new research from Binghamton University.

Researchers from Binghamton University and University College London asked 5,705 participants in 96 countries to rate the emotional and physical pain of a breakup on a scale of one (none) to 10 (unbearable). They found that women tend to be more negatively affected by breakups, reporting higher levels of both physical and emotional pain. Women averaged 6.84 in terms of emotional anguish versus 6.58 in men. In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men’s 3.75. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger. Men, on the other hand, never fully recover — they simply move on.
(more)

[abc3643]

According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author on the study, the differences boil down to biology. Women have more to lose by dating the wrong person.

“Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than men,” Morris said. “A brief romantic encounter could lead to nine months of pregnancy followed by many years of lactation for an ancestral woman, while the man may have ‘left the scene’ literally minutes after the encounter, with no further biological investment. It is this ‘risk’ of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship with a high-quality mate ‘hurts’ more for a woman.”

Conversely, as men have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate for a man may not “hurt” as much at first, Morris said.

“The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it ‘sinks in’ that he must ‘start competing’ all over again to replace what he has lost — or worse still, come to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable,” he said.

Morris said that breakups are important because most of us will experience an average of three by age 30, with at least one affecting us strongly enough that it substantially decreases our quality of life for weeks or months.

“People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behavior patterns following a breakup,” he said. “With better understanding of this emotional and physical response to a breakup — Post Relationship Grief — we can perhaps develop a way to mitigate its effects in already high-risk individuals.”

The study, “Quantitative Sex Differences in Response to the Dissolution of a Romantic Relationship,” was published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences on July 31.

[Dreamy2020]

Yes, I have read these. My question was based on these and some of the youtube videos I have seen.

[EssenceOfLight]

I don't think there is big gender difference in this question. Some people are emotional and some think analytic, this makes the difference. The moment of clarity where you can sort out positive and negative things in former relationship without involving your personal feelings to your ex. Is the moment where you know nothing of value has been lost or/and you're just a piece of shit.

[perfectchaos]

I have never done the breaking up but I think it varies so much by person to person and situation. For example my first breakup still hurts a bit. My second is a good riddance and two middle fingers to her.

[msc545]

Men, lacking real support systems, do much worse after breakups than women do. Also, women initiate breakups (and divorces) much more often than men do.

[Dreamy2020]

This is the truth!

[Jjpayne]

I personally think everyone is different. I've seen examples where girls can get hung up too...

I think each individual takes it differently vs a specific gender

[Natehunter199]

I think that goes both ways. What every person, male or female. Who ever initiated the breakup. And the other one takes it pretty ruff. Especially when the other leave on relationship straight to another.

[DavidFox]

Generally speaking the person who initiates the break up appears better after because they have already started the process of healing. So they are steps ahead of their ex and already grieved.

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

Nope, humans are humans, same bullshit on both sides of the aisles. I don't understand why we can't just grasp this fact and stop
making everything about gender. We are fucked up, egotistical, flawed and contradictory beings.

[Dreamy2020]

Not everything about gender, but somethings are. We are different, no matter if we want to believe it or not.

[RemoErdosain]

I agree with you, man. Always these moronic ideas about gender

[maryyy_V]

Not for me. After a break up I move on immediately. I have never truly liked/loved someone truly where I feel hurt by their absence from my life. A big flaw on my part.

[SunnySri]

I don't think that is the case with me mam, I love her still I won't deny that, I might still love her in the future but I am not going to be depressed or sad over it.
I am happy with my life and I hope she is as well.☺️☺️

[Anonymous]

After a breakup men think they're gonna have a series of hookups and wild sex... only to find out that women (from their mid twenties onwards) only want a relationship. The ones who hookup are either ugly (because uggos have to take what they get) or crazy. Either way the experience for men after a breakup is disappointing at best, stressful and agonizing at worst.