It’s been several weeks since I’ve broken up with him and I feel so disappointed. After all this years we’ve spent together, thinking this guy at least loved me a little, it seems like that wasn’t the case at all. He goes on doing his things during the day like he did before, hasn’t reached out to me either or gotten up with any girl. Is he a robot? Have I just wasted time on a robot who is incapable of any emotions?
I don’t want to ever go back with such a person but knowing they felt nothing for me is just disappointing as hell. I understand not everybody is made for each other but we were together for long, there’s so many memories yet I meant nothing. I feel so stupid now. He also hasn’t asked me to get my stuff back. So totally NOTHING!! However It’s time now to go and take it and never look back. This is absurd.
You need time to heal from this. It's a bitter pill to swallow but for some it takes longer than other. So make peace with it and move on with your life. Time waiting is time taken too long and wasted time. You going to feel terrible, hurt, disappointed and angry but feel those emotions. If you need to cry, cry and make sure when you stop thats the last tears you waste on him. When you're done with the above, start paying attention to what interest you. Hobbies, studies, work, making new friends etc Go out and meet new people. Take your time.
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Asker
+1 y
Nono I don’t cry for him I am over it and sure that I don’t want to be with such a person again but at the same time feel so disappointed that all I invested in this relationship meant nothing. He should at least feel sad a little... what do you say
Girl.. If you have watched THE VAMPIRE DIARIES! where Vampires can turn off humanity.
Just like that because of emotional torture.. Us guys with time learn to turn of the emotional pain by not choosing to feel it.. It's a natural locking mechanism.. Us guys can turn it off... But when we are alone and nobody can see it..
We cry to our hearts content and then don't show it to the world.. Even world's biggest men cry.. Elon musk cries for the child he lost.. Donald Trump cries for how he was cheated in election..
We men cry.. But it's always when we are alone.. And it not weeping or yelling..
We just sit quietly and tears trickle down our eyes.. And we sniff and keep doing what we are doing. And 20-30 minutes it's over and then again it hits us after 90 days.. Or longer.
He sounds like a healthy guy to me, I would question your reasoning. If you just break up to hurt him. Why would he be so quick in replacing you, he doesn't need a woman so he celibrate his time as single and enjoy his freedom. He might want another girl after a few months, but I doubt he would start running after one straight away.
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Well he has no friends, he onky hangs with parents so I don't know how he is fine on his own but yea. No I didn't break up to hurt him, I broke up cause he was an asshole to me and I deserve better but I still expected he will feel something but its whatever. He had no feelings to begin with
Yeah expecting asholes to feel sorry or hurt is like expecting pigs to fly. They wouldn't be asholes if they cared about your feelings or you. So he doesn't value friends, sounds more like he is better of alone, lack of friends isn't a problem for certain personalities. It's just a result of them being themselves.
Yea idm if he had friends or not but the fact he's fine without interacting with other friends or girls is just autistic. And you said right assholes will never feel sorry or hurt.. i feel like once i pick up my stuff from his place he will start to make a drama but ill just ignore. Also when would u pick up ur stuff now? Or would u wait little longer if they get their shit together however its been month and 2 weeks.. so enough time
That is also true, I shouldn't read into it cause it doesn’t matter. He was unable to treat me well, so therefore it explains why cause he had no feelings or whichever reason. I need to stop thinking really
What? Do you get off knowing you caused someone to have their heart broken? You dumped him. He doesn't owe you shit, least of all any feelings of sadness.
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Asker
+1 y
Well he deserved it, he didn’t treat me well and the break up was kind of mutual. I said it first then ignored his text then he said that he agrees then we didn’t speak again. I don’t regret the decision one bit, he was the worst but at least some feelings would be appreciated. After all we spent years together...
It's just a pride thing and you're trying to blame him for your own ego. The way that you're shifting the blame on him for him being a functional adult who's capable of accepting bad situations without some mental breakdown or something makes me think you have only had fucked up relationships to compare against, and that you are a bitch.
We're expect to judge him without knowing the full story, though? What does it matter if you have something still? Are you simply missing him and trying to rationalize it?
I never asked you to judge him that is why I didn’t include info about how he treated me? I only said that we broke up and it seems like he never really cared. I expected at least he will be a little sad, but all this tears and words it was all fake. He feels nothing now. He just goes on his life like nothing happened. Doesn’t have a need for any women, if at least he would find another girl, ask me to take back my stuff, but he just does nothing, kinda makes me think he is a robot.
No, you did. You asked that we would judge him to be a robot. That's judging him. I've been accused of being a robot, and it pisses me off that after being with someone for so long, they know so little about me. The thing is that no one is emotionless. No one is a robot, and even the most literally autistic person has feelings. Just because you didn't break him, doesn't mean anything about him other than being emotionally mature. However, it probably means you never bothered to understand him or sympathize at all. I would say you earned his disdain, not his hate or his sadness.
Of course everything is my fault. I’m the worse person just because I accused him of having zero feelings. But do you know how this man treated me? Not really and I wouldn’t wish anyone to be treated this way and approve it. So don’t call me any names. I just expected him to at least feel little sad, cause its a normal thing we do specially after a long time of being together, all experiences. He cried many times before but seems to me now that it was just because he hates being rejected, not ever because he had any feelings for me. It’s good to know the truth..
and also him being emotionally mature? You really judge him to fast! He is anything but that. Honestly he is a person who seems to be unable to feel anything - I am starting to realise now. Its not his fault, he’s the way he is. I hope he finds his happiness I hope for you too. You still seem hurt over your ex, I’m sorry about that. You can never compare one’s relationship to your own. It was completely different. He really was not treating me as he should and I’ve waited around for too long. Nothing ever changed. At the end he is still the same guy as he always been. Anti emotional guy, too bad thats not the only thing he was. Anyways I was treated badly, i’ll never let this happen again. I rather stay single for life
All right, fine, chill out a second. You're flailing with your words, but you're old enough to be beyond this. The reaction about how "of course everything is my fault" seems particularly charged. I don't know or how your relationship was, but it really seems like this breakup put you in a weird space. So, OP, take a deep breath, look inside yourself and tell us what is really going on or even what is means to you that he doesn't seem as heartbroken as you.
He hasn't reached out to you because you rejected him,
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Asker
+1 y
Our relationship was on and off many times, it was so toxic. But he always came around this time he didn’t cause he knows it won’t work out and he knows I have standards and won’t put up with anything! He had no feelings I came to conclusion. If you break up he would ask me to take my stuff, I know how it was with my other ex. He wanted it to be gone asap. Would you want to keep your ex stuff in your house for ages before they pick it up? Probably not.. cause it would all remind you of things.. he had no feelings I think
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