Was my ex stringing me along?

[Mel2021]

Ok so my ex ended things with me in January 2021 due to becoming stressed in the pandemic.

He was still keeping in contact with me and two weeks after the breakup when I went to go get my things, I apologised for my behaviour and explained my situation and asked if we could try again? I told him if he needed more space or wanted to take things slow I understood.
But he wasn’t interested even though he understood the pandemic was causing me stress.
He said we could be friends and if he wanted to hang out as friends to let me know but I didn’t respond.
He asked if he was ok to still contact me? I said yeah thinking it would be positive but I was wrong

After that day I wished him the best and he still continued to talk to me each week where I organised a meet-up thinking he was maybe wanting to rekindle things but he didn’t mention that. But when we hung out we would have went back to his apartment and did things that we would have done whilst we were going out but didn’t sleep together or anything. This carried on for three months as I thought he was wanting to take things slow but I was wrong. We hung out and he was contacting me each week without me initiating but the last time I seen him I asked what was going on and he said he only seen me as a friend which made me feel very hurt so I told him to not contact me again unless he wants to rekindle things

Did I do the right thing? Was he stringing me along?

[devilish-cutie]

You did the right thing. He wanted benefits without obligations which is pretty shitty. You should leave him be n not contact him n if he does just be distant n dont engage much, blow him off. Dont have expectations of him, move on w your life, think more about ysf n when u feel ready try to find someone else. Your ex may come back n may not, if he does, you'll see what you will do w him then. In the meantime dont expect it anything happening w him.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your advice! See I’m the first girl he has ever dumped and I have left partners in the past and eventually ended up being friends but it was after a long period of space away from one another I didn’t maintain contact each week

[devilish-cutie]

Yeqh, you need space from eachother, he cannot miss you n not take you for grqnted if you're always there

[Mel2021]

That’s true this is where I feel I made the mistake as I kept the lines of communication open

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes he was stringing you alone he still wanted to have sex with you but he didn't want to be your boyfriend anymore

[Mel2021]

He never had sex though at all after the breakup he just wanted to hang out but with no romantic affiliation

[Bklynbadboy12]

You just don't get it if he didn't want to be with you anymore why do you think he wanted to hang out with you

[Mel2021]

He told me recently it was just as friends, he never tried to hit on me while we were together and had made it clear last time he was with me that he doesn’t see me as more than a friend

[Bklynbadboy12]

Okay if thats what you want to believe

[Mel2021]

I’ve tried twice to rekindle things and he is adamant he isn’t interested. There isn’t anything more I can do. I can’t force someone to be with me when they don’t want to

[Bklynbadboy12]

Your right but if he doesn't want to be with you anymore why on gods earth would he want to hangout with you as friends other than to have sex with you whenever he can. I'm a guy I know how guys think

[Mel2021]

But he never had sex though after the breakup with me at all, if he wanted too, he would have. If we were having sex it would mean some romantic feelings but he never had sex again with me after we broke up
Other than that I agree which is why I feel I was strung along, he said he had no romantic feelings for me and that’s abundantly clear since he didn’t want to sleep with me at all after he dumped me

[Bklynbadboy12]

Having sex doesn't mean romantic feelings and if you would've stayed friends with him it definitely would've happened

[Mel2021]

I’m get that but he doesn’t have sex with people casually. I went over to his 4 times over the last 3 months and he never tried to sleep with me once

[Bklynbadboy12]

Your assuming that you don't know that all you know is how he was with you

[Mel2021]

It can seem that way but all the same If someone says they aren’t interested which he has told me now multiple times you take them at their word, if that wasn’t how they felt then then they need to make their feelings clear.
When someone dumps someone they are on limited time to get them back
If they regret this down the line and that person moves on then they will be eating their own words

[Bklynbadboy12]

Sweetheart that not how it is for everybody cause if you dumpe its over there is no limited time to come back I'm not a toy for some to play with my emotions you not gonna deal with me and dump me and come back when you want. Hell no that's not gonna happen if you dumpe you better mean it cause its over

[Mel2021]

That’s true I guess

[Bklynbadboy12]

Its definitely true you don't believe I'll show you

[Mel2021]

Just sometimes what I find is people when they realise the grass isn’t greener or they start to regret they will try to get back together with their ex but by that point the one they dumped could have moved on emotionally or got a new lover but that’s the risk you run

[Bklynbadboy12]

I get that but you have to love yourself enough to say I deserve better. If they don't love you enough to stick it out with you then move on don't let some break up with you then come back just to do it again

[Mel2021]

True it just really hurts, thank you though!

[Bklynbadboy12]

Thanks for the MHO