Break ups are so painful, especially when you had planned to get settled with him/her.
How come suddenly the person stops loving you, stop making time for you? Why don't they show any effort?
Been going through a lot lately, I come back home after work and I go through mental breakdown each and every night. How do I stop this? I feel lonely and helpless.
First do you have to be 100% honest with yourself , You have to accept that it's over with. You have to understand the pain that you feel is within you you are the one that controls that feeling nobody else it will last as long as you wanted to or as short of a time as you want to do you need to find something to take its place. Nobody can make you feel what you're feeling right now except for you everything that happens to us in life there's a feeling and an emotion we are the only ones that can bring it that upon us or take it away from us nobody else on the outside of us the outside world can do whatever they want they can try to do whatever they want but we are the only ones that make us feel anything I know it it's one of the hardest things you probably ever done but make it simple it doesn't mean that you don't care doesn't mean that you're cold hearted or anything like that what it means is you understand yourself and you understand the truth about the inside of your body and you understand that in your brain you're the only one that can make you feel the pain you're going through so stop get over it move on because you will realize it in time this will be one of the best things that's ever happened to you I know you're probably telling me to fuck off right now because Love Is Love you don't need to stop loving the guy you just need to stop the pain so you can move on in life he's already proved to you that he's not worth it. So believe in yourself and you make yourself worth it I know you're good beautiful person just because you asked this question smile relax that goes all the pain it's your choice
I'm an empath and I can tell you from here the whole inside my body just turned double flips yeah it's the rough thing to go through and like I said it's a hard thing to do but you really do have to let it go and really do have to accept it and that way you'll get over 10 times faster I know in a lot of ways you probably don't want it to get over with. Who broke up with who
"Ora et labora", or "Pray and work", as the Latin proverb says. You can swap the "pray" part for "meditate" or whatever, but know this - if you work, generally you don't have time to be sad. Be productive! Find new hobbies, dive into archery, start to paint, try programming, sing, buy a flute, write a poem, or just learn new things, advance in your field of study et cetera. If that doesn't help, work harder. Having "no free time" means having no time to pity yourself and have unreasonable thoughts. And yes, it works - at least for me.
As for other things - say no to love songs, nihilistic atmospheres and masturbation. I mean it, seriously. Especially don't go for "love songs 80s 90s" on Spotify, no Robbie Williams, no Chicago, no Extreme, no Mr. Big, no Bon Jovi and no Scorpions or Aerosmith - you know the drill.
Also, if you want, philosophy or religion is always there to mend your hurt mind. I don't know how many times I've written here that Stoicism is worth giving a shot, but it's true, so I'll carry on. Having answers to life questions from successful people is pure gold. Not to mention Hellenistic philosophy schools tend to be quite effective and reasonable.
You "stop" it by allowing yourself to feel and not being ashamed. By practicing mindfulness and compassion towards yourself. They say if you truly love the person it never fully goes away. I am heartbroken over someone myself. It's been 5 years and I'm still not fully over it. But time helps a lot and recognizing that it'd be torture to be with someone who no longer cares about me. I know it's a hard road ahead of you. Just make sure you choose to be around friends who will recognize the small steps you make towards healing and cut out the people in your life that just say "just get on with it" or whatever. Choose to be around people who don't just dismiss your feelings because it inconveniences them. Choose to be around people who acknowledge your pain and truly see you in this hard time. Like I do.
When you get your heart broken many times you will know what to do. Sometimes it will take month or years depends your feelings you had for them. First, the best thing to do is cry as much as you need to. You will eventually don't feel like crying over them. I would watch forgetting sarah marshall so many times til I start feeling better. Talking about them and the break up with someone helps even though the person might get annoyed with you for talking about it so much but that works for me also. Do things you enjoy and makes you happy.
------------------------Most times the person doesn't suddenly stop loving you. They stopped a while ago or worse never did in the first place. Heartbreak isn't about getting over someone it's about learning things about yourself so you can move on to a more healthy relationship the next time. Stay busy but like I always say, find a passion and purpose in life... those never break your heart.
"The people who are quick to walk away are the ones who usually never intended to stay."
The best way to get over a heartbreak is by sitting it out and living life.
If you're seeking a shortcut out of this, then you can save yourself the pain of trying to find it. The best way to get over a heartbreak is to sit it out. Sit it out and keep yourself busy. There is a reason why they say "Time will heal all wounds" and it's true. What you CAN do in the mean time is doing the things you love. Keep yourself busy with passion, combat the 'sadness' chemicals by working out, do fun stuff with friends to and if you have it, work towards realizing your dream.
At some point your mind and heart will let go and I speak from experience.
There is no reason sometimes and it's harder to accept that.
Know this you cannot escape it by running away , accept the situation as ok it's part of life then you slowly move on try to appreciate things that are good in your life bc life is mote than coupling.
A life of a rose is one day if it blooms in morning it turns to dust by night what's the reason for that? no reason ots just life.
So people come some stay some leave and we have let them be.
It's damn hard to do it and it takes its time just go with the flow understand things.
Put it out of your system then do your daily activities as you used to b4 .
Eventually you will find suitable mate and you know the rest
With some,... you can miraculously get over a heartbreak no problem. Sounds hard to believe but you can.
With others,... it does depend how long & how deep of the relationship you were with that person. Those unfortunately... you can't.
It might depend on gender, but I don't know. I just know with my experiences,... some I have very strangely no problem, but with some... unfortunately not. A heartbreak that impacts you that deep & bad can do a terrible number on you to the point where it does change you. I know it did change me, and unfortunately I feel I don't like the person I have become.
Well It is painful... But we are not living on a planet... where everyone will be good as you caring as you... Hard truth but people are different so there Behaviour and thinking (that makes one person to fall in love with another and that is the reason for breakups also). I can understand your pain... But don't worry time will heal that...
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It will never stop, you just learn to live with it.
Easiest way is to find someone else, replacement, but it will cause issues later as you did not sorted it now.
I would suggest to find professional help with it, counselling, therapy or something of that sort...
I feel same like you. My wife break my heart and break all my possible futures. I see how my trust is break too and now i can't think in nothing positive. I feel just a lot of anxiety and pain and sad.
Yes, i need a lot of help but I'm alone and my life is now a great black hole that easy every light near me.
I hope that someday this pain and fear disappear. I know that I'm not the typical "man", it think that in many cases I'm a woman inside my heart, and my answer maybe is applicable to every man. But i tried to be honest. I don't know how to stop this pain and sadness...
Figured I was set up and it had hardly any chance of working out, and got back to a sane town that doesn't promote cheating and manipulation endemically (even found a potentially more interesting academ8c one to go to/a place where people are open to establishing new connections, not a small closed village that rejects anyone not born there (and half of the people who were)).
Wait for a month... relax... don't stop doing regular things additionally do what you like... GET SOME DOPAMINE BOOSTER... Thats Normal..
bad things always happens to good people making themselves being rational to choose the perfect one... choose responsible guys not the one of instant pleasure...
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
It's almost a year. I'm not over her. Maybe I never will.
Cut that hope that person may return. That hurts the most. That tiny bit of hope gives more pain than anything else
Most of us often are ashamed to show our feelings, men and women included. Do you have someone you are completely shameless with regarding your feelings? You might feel afraid of talking to someone and scaring them off, but of they do, what role were they playing in your life? Open up, to someone you trust, parents, brother, sister or a friend. Not to everyone, mind you, only the ones you trust.
Sorry wrong question. The end of a relationship can be almost like a bereavement so basically you mourn the death of the relationship and try to start again. Went through a real bad break up years ago, basically she wasn't the person I thought she was. Take it one day at a time and build on your life while your single so that would be job, finances, education, fitness health etc and maybe you will find someone who deserves you.
Well, last time I smashed her face in then robbed her place blind (I don't appreciate being cheated on). She was 't able to prove it was me, so that let her shit out of luck 😝
0
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Well after my rejection and rape and humiliation from the guy I thought I loved, I'm just a broken piece of myself.
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