What is the best way to get over a heartbreak?

[Thor9805yt]

Iv been heartbroken for a long time, I was insanely in love with some woman for what she's done, made me feel human and like I exist and have value and etc and she left and she only makes it worse and it's becoming a lot, and I really don't know what to do

[ohsheeT]

We'll see all those feelings and emotions that you're talking about they didn't come from her they came from you you're the only person on the inside of you so you're the only person that can give you those feelings

You have to acknowledge and accept that you broke up and that life goes on and you're going to find somebody else that's all there is to it one step in front of the other you're going to hold yourself back as long as you want to because you are also the only person that can make you go forward or hold yourself back because you're the only person on the inside of you that controls you and only you nobody else can control you nobody else can do anything except for you accept it and acknowledge it.

And no and understand that you might not like the moment but it's okay because one day when you allow yourself to change and everything in your world to change for the better you will be happy because the positive that will come from it

Look at everything in life that's happened to you that's been negative there's always been a positive that comes from it if you look and pay attention same here the same thing will happen that you have to allow it to happen by letting go and one step in front of the other move on accept it acknowledge it once you do that then you're subconscious takes a hold of it and starts changing things but until you change your subconscious you're not going anywhere doing anything and that's nothing but a waste of time you're not living life the way you're supposed to

[Purpleronnie]

From what you have said It’s like your saying that you didn’t feel you had any value before her? That because you loved how she made ‘you feel’ , now with her gone that you back to that feeling of being lost and unlovable because you don’t love yourself ? .. which would tell me that you probably need to work on you and your own self worth , self esteem.
I’d have concerns over how successful any relationship could or would be with someone that had such a low opinion of their worth or value as this would likely make them emotionally codependent to their partner which is by no means a healthy relationship… and let’s be fair it’s not a good look for any man to be emotionally dependent !!
Being heart-broken as you describe it is a statement of your emotional state of mind , and to have anything to offer anyone else you need to put that failed relationship in the past , build yourself up to the confident , self assured person you can be , want to , and need to be and then get yourself back out there.


Getting over your heartbreak will be achieved by you investing or re-investing in YOU ! , stop wallowing in self pity and start building your self esteem.


To quote a line from a famous movie “ every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around “ ( vanilla sky , 2001 ) .. it’s a little cheesy I know , but still sage advice and applicable here !

[Thor9805yt]

Lol well quite the thing you typed out for me, I am very grateful, I was over reacting in that message, I was feeling a bit hurt in that message and lost, I have self esteem, I just loved who she was, the times we had together, the way she thought of things and tried to deal with them and how we ended and what not and the parts and pieces after that, I mean currently I have like 3 woman talking to me that I think really like me, but I don't want to risk another relationship, I'm afraid it'll go like the one iv been talking about, I mean there's a woman iv seen that I'm gonna ask out soon, I just don't know how, iv been thinking about when I see her, id give her the little back of the hand tap on the shoulder, and say something like "hey! I think your actually really pretty, can I get your number or Snapchat?" Or something, I mean, I haven't really had to ask anyone out before, usually they come to me

[Purpleronnie]

Ah , you painted quite a different picture there didn’t you ! … Nobody should go into any new relationship thinking it would be anything like the last , sure it can be a fear but let’s play that one out … how would that end ? …. Why stop there let’s apply that outlook or judgement not just to relationships but to life choices …? .. that then ends in you not doing Anything for fear that it will end badly.. not a great philosophy is it? As strange as it may sound you can’t take it so personally when relationships fail assuming you didn’t **** it up in any major way , just dust yourself off learn if you can from why it failed and move on. You simply cannot not commit to something for fear of failure as inaction STILL means failure !! 😂. Never having needed to ask anyone out before , well that just confuses me further , do you literally just take / use what’s on offer? . I think you maybe need to redefine what it is that you are looking for right now? Or just period , I don’t really now understand what you’re searching for.. my answer still stands.. getting over heartbreak is what having relationships can be about for the majority of us , you risk it every time you put yourself out there in relationships so you either have a relationship or don’t

[Thor9805yt]

You are a amazing human, thank you for all the time and effort put into these, and you are absolutely right, I do need to dust it off, which iv failed to do but that just means I'm not trying hard enough, and it's not just taking what I can get, many woman ask me out constantly, I will start talking to someone and then gain feelings sometimes eventually depending on the person, and on a different topic, I was having a deep conversation with my father the other day and he says I definitely have abandonment issues and he's seen how sentimental I am about everything and etc, that was the first time he has ever been nice to me about anything as such, he was in the army for many years and does not communicate most things nicely and he does father things like a father so is mildly harsh and aggressive about it, which I understand, but the conversation started by my step mother tryng to fix a thing I had since I was 3-4 years of age, and he said it was before I had abandonment issues and I have damn good reasons, and I personally feel like that may be a reason why it's harder to get over my ex,

[Purpleronnie]

You’re perfectly welcome and thank you for saying so. I can relate to your father son chat. Many father find it challenging to relate on that level which can be quite damaging even though they don’t mean it to be. I think all of us can be guilty of where you have been , I guess to be a little fairer to you I only know this having been there myself but for me I had allowed myself so low that I came close to un-aliving myself. Men can be almost encouraged by that father influence to push everything deep inside themselves which as I learned is massively unhealthy. Good luck to you sir , feel free to drop me a few words along the way and let me know how your fairing on your journey !

[SnowyOwl]

Start a new hobby where you"ll meet people. A month after my break up I started doing martial arts and it got my life back on track in many many ways. Plus I met tons of good looking healthy people x)
So find some activity that intrigues you! You can get past this, promised (:

[Thor9805yt]

Lol well Iv been doing jiujitsu and boxing and mui tai for a while, most my life, I work out, I okay guitar, I do yard work, build computers, hemo others however possible, I don't know what to do lol

[SnowyOwl]

Hmm, well, if you're into music, you could try choir group, or dancing lessons (there's many dance styles) ... If you're in school/university you can try being part of a student society, or take part in competitions in your field... if you like nature, you could try a hiking group... I swear there's groups for everything! Just pick one New activity.
Its great you've done a lot of things for yourself! So dont be too hard on yourself (:

[Nikki1989]

Meet someone else. Works every time.

[Thor9805yt]

Well I have thought of doing that but that drags me farther down the pit, and others have informed me and warned me not too do that either,

[Oliverlogan263]

Breakups are the worst man, I've been there and know how badly it hurts. The best thing is to just give it time, even though that's the hardest part. Here are some things that can help:

- Hang out with the boys as much as possible. Do fun stuff to take your mind off her. Play video games, sports, hit the arcade - anything to stay busy.

- Throw yourself into your hobbies and interests. Reconnect with stuff you enjoy doing for yourself. Music, working out, cars, whatever floats your boat.

- Let it all out. Cry if you need to bro, no shame in that. Also vent to friends you trust. Getting the feelings out is better than bottling it in.

- Cut all contact with her for now. Unfollow on social media, don't check her profile. Out of sight is out of mind and will help you move on.

- It's cheesy but time heals all wounds. With each passing day and week, it gets a little easier. You'll always care but the pain fades.

- Learn from the relationship, but don't dwell on the past. Try not to obsess over what went wrong - focus on becoming your best self.

You'll make it through this man. Just take it one day at a time and before you know it, you'll be feeling better. Stay strong!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I've seen some heartbreaks where my identity seemed to fall apart, for a time. Until I get it back, until it falls apart again after another heartbreak? Just joking lol

I'm in a position to joke about this right now but it hasn't always been the case! From my experience, getting over a heartbreak means connecting to the foundations I have, inside and outside, if it's crumbling inside there's still the outside:

• Good times with good friends
• Good Music to listen to
• Good reads or watch to evade
• Good relations with girls, to put things in perspective

And the galaxies above my head, I find comfort in knowing they exist whatever I do or feel, they just seem like unimpressed giants. Smiling even. I would not say they are smiling at the overall futility of my demise but... There's something like that. In a gentle way.

[exitseven]

Our value as people must come from within. Do things that will improve yourself. Join a gym, take a course in something you are interested in, learn guitar, get a second job and save up for a kick ass vacation or a motorcycle.. Leave the relationship behind and concentrate on an awesome future.

[LiamJHayden]

I've never been romantically heartbroken. Why get upset over a person who doesn't want to be with me? Too many women out there for that.

[Anonymous]

U don’t love her , u love how she made u feel. Loving someone happens when u care about them even when they are a bitch

[Purpleronnie]

I think that’s quite perceptive of you to say … agreed ! 👍

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Take it "day by day", and meet somebody new.

I got over a heartthrob in 3'n'half months!

[Anonymous]

I don't know, my heart was broken for several years now.

[Avicenna]

Meet new women

[ihateTaylorSwift]

talk to new people to get your confidence back

[Iron_Man]

that’s a longshot

[beefcakebradybatson]

A buxom blonde !!!

[CubaPirate]

Get back on the horse ASAP

[Kayleigh2005]

Next guy up

[Kayleigh2005]

Or girl u are only 24 u will find someone!

There’s lots of hoes that can make u feel better, they don’t even to get married or think they need a man lol they need one thing thou 🤣