What advice do you have for someone going through a divorce?

[Ronald_25]

Someone very close to me, who is a relative, is going through a divorce, she is having a hard time as it has been a 16 year relationship with 5 years of marriage. She is feeling upset, depressed, anxious and angry.

What advice do you have for her? Also, please state if you've been through/ supported someone going through a divorce too for reference.

Updates

+1 y

The divorcees do not have children

[kyleelyn199723]

Personally I wouldn’t give any advice! Some people don’t need to be told how to live life, but letting someone know that you are there for them through their tragedy can help a million times more. Don’t offer unwanted wisdom, offer help

[Ronald_25]

Well look at that, seems like some of the best advice here as it is most applicable to me, thank you Kyleelyn

[kyleelyn199723]

You’re welcome! Just know from personal experience, if she asks for your opinion on something, feel free to insert wisdom , otherwise no need for it.

[Ronald_25]

Noted, thank you

[akvalleygirl]

I would buy her the book "The Empowered Wife" By Laura Doyle, I would also tell her to join the Adored Wife Facebook group too. Even if the divorce goes through, this could help her in her future relationships.

[Ronald_25]

Thank you very much, these look like really good recommendations ❤️

[Anonymous]

Try to have them agree on everything without needing a lawyer because it will just prolong the divorce longer through courts and just keep costing more money paying lawyers. I’ve been through a divorce and had kids and it’s very costly

[Ronald_25]

Thank you for your advice based on your point of reference 🙂

[Mofunfour20]

I can't give advice really because I dont know who did what in the relationship. Anyone depressed with anxiety needs a therapist and a gym membership, they're fundamental to maintaining mental health.

[kyleelyn199723]

A gym membership does not automatically make you a motivated person to work out, that just means you are spending money on something that may not even help you. Also therapy does not help anxiety, you don’t just go to therapy and boom, no more anxiety

[Mofunfour20]

@kyleelyn199723 your need to argue and disagree is amazing 🤯

[kyleelyn199723]

Your need to force out ridiculous opinions is amazing.

[Mofunfour20]

@kyleelyn199723 you're entitled to your opinion and hopefully a cup of some relaxing tea

[kyleelyn199723]

I just think it’s odd that you tried to insinuate that feeling negative towards a 16 year relationship that ended , is a bad thing. “A gym membership and therapy will help” what kind of advice.. lol we know you are obsessed with the gym but damn dude, have some empathy. It’s completely normal feeling a bit lost in life after a 16 year relationship not making it

[Mofunfour20]

@kyleelyn199723 i dont need agreement so rant on

[kyleelyn199723]

You don’t have to. Just stating your advice lacks common empathy in a lot of advice you give.

[Mofunfour20]

@kyleelyn199723 im not trying to date you just help other guys learn the truth. Empathy? Jesus Christ

[kyleelyn199723]

@Mofunfour20 no one said I wanted to date you lol, just odd advice

[Ronald_25]

I'll have to second kyleen, I don't remember her ever saying that she's into you Mofun. On the flip, the original advice by Mofun is good advice, just needs some refinement. The longest relationship I've had was about 2 years and talking and punching my feelings out with my friends and at kickboxing, respectively, helped me stay calm and trim down. Doing this also makes you more attractive and some casual sex and advances from other girls helped me feel better and move on.

[hahahmm]

There's people who charge $400/hour to listen to people whine about their life. I'd tell her the first 20 minutes is free.

[msc545]

Get a REALLY GOOD LAWYER and be careful to recuse the Judge quickly if they seem to dislike you or your lawyer.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Tell her to fight for family. She doesn't have to divorce, but just separate til things get better.

[worldscolide]

Are there children involved?

[Ronald_25]

No there are not

[worldscolide]

That's good. The best thing you can do is be there emotionally for her.

[MTC29]

Lawyer up is the best advice I can give.

[MrJMM]

Stop caring and feeling.

[Sketti2021]

Takes time