Hi.
It's been over 6 months since I left my ex. Although I loved him more than anything, I couldn't stand the hurtful words he kept telling me, the physical violence, the lies, the manipulation... I would pack my luggage every day to leave, but then, would fall back into this toxic cycle of forgiveness, because I loved him period. After research I found out he fell into the category of a narcissistic pervert.
When I left him he didn't write to me for weeks (I was going crazy thinking he had already forgotten me) he eventually came back some time later by calling me, texts, etc. I NEVER gave in. I never returned to him EVEN IF I WANTED TO.
Today he no longer speaks to me, because I think his ego has been too upset by my ignorance and the fact that I would never answer his calls etc. Every day is a little harder without him. I look at our photos, I think about him all the time, I can't find ANY other attractive man, I talk to my friends/ family about him 24 hours a day, everything in my environment reminds me of him and our memories shared together.
I decided to leave my city in 1-2 weeks, to forget about him. I downloaded dating apps and I realize that I don't like ANYBODY, and EVEN WORSE, that I'm looking for my ex's lookalike; Whether it be in terms of character, skills, but also the physique. My ex was a pilot and I met him on the plane as a passenger and it was love at first sight
for the both of us. He was very athletic (skier and surfer), EXTREMELY intelligent and cultivated, vegetarian, we would have the best sex...
I want to add that our relationship has been like a roller coaster. The highs in our relationship were AMAZING. We loved each other A LOT (or maybe I loved him like that, who knows). On the contrary, when we argued it was like a Broadway show: cries, tears, insults, violence, etc.
How am I going to BE ABLE to forget him? I am so in his grip that I missing out on my life.
I feel like I can't help but look for the EXACT SAME MAN all over again.
It's been over 6 months since I left my ex. Although I loved him more than anything, I couldn't stand the hurtful words he kept telling me, the physical violence, the lies, the manipulation... I would pack my luggage every day to leave, but then, would fall back into this toxic cycle of forgiveness, because I loved him period. After research I found out he fell into the category of a narcissistic pervert.
When I left him he didn't write to me for weeks (I was going crazy thinking he had already forgotten me) he eventually came back some time later by calling me, texts, etc. I NEVER gave in. I never returned to him EVEN IF I WANTED TO.
Today he no longer speaks to me, because I think his ego has been too upset by my ignorance and the fact that I would never answer his calls etc. Every day is a little harder without him. I look at our photos, I think about him all the time, I can't find ANY other attractive man, I talk to my friends/ family about him 24 hours a day, everything in my environment reminds me of him and our memories shared together.
I decided to leave my city in 1-2 weeks, to forget about him. I downloaded dating apps and I realize that I don't like ANYBODY, and EVEN WORSE, that I'm looking for my ex's lookalike; Whether it be in terms of character, skills, but also the physique. My ex was a pilot and I met him on the plane as a passenger and it was love at first sight
for the both of us. He was very athletic (skier and surfer), EXTREMELY intelligent and cultivated, vegetarian, we would have the best sex...
I want to add that our relationship has been like a roller coaster. The highs in our relationship were AMAZING. We loved each other A LOT (or maybe I loved him like that, who knows). On the contrary, when we argued it was like a Broadway show: cries, tears, insults, violence, etc.
How am I going to BE ABLE to forget him? I am so in his grip that I missing out on my life.
I feel like I can't help but look for the EXACT SAME MAN all over again.
