Ladies, would you quit your job over rejected love for a coworker?

[Anonymous]

I felt really close to a girl at work. We were friends for a few years. I'm married. But things began escalating and blurring lines for me, emotionally. I finally told her I couldn't continue our friendship because I began having feelings for her. I told her she needed to move on without me. She frigging quit her job two weeks later. I was like, holy shit. I feel terrible because I deeply care about her but thought this was best for me, my wife, and her. She's been working in the same job as me for 10 years.

[Anonymous]

I remember you posting about this a couple weeks ago and we had a pretty lengthy discussion with it ultimately ending with you not agreeing. At this point, I don’t really know what you’re looking for, as far as answers go. Nothing anyone says is going to ease your guilty conscience because at the end of the day, none of it will change what happened. Maybe you should consider therapy or some sort of counseling to help you get over all this but the end result absolutely has to be you moving on. You say you made that decision for the sake of your marriage and obviously this woman was gonna get hurt. So just accept that you destroyed that friendship, and move on.

[Asker]

Ok thanks.

[Asker]

Its tough anon lady. It wasn't really a friendship and we both knew that. you're right, i dont know what answers im expecting at this point. I just wish it never happened.

[Opinion Owner]

I get it dude, cutting ties with someone sucks, let alone after 10 years. But it’s important to keep things in perspective and remember why you felt the need to drop the axe in the first place. Hanging on to that guilt and obsessing over the situation will only keep you stagnant, and then the whole thing will REALLY be pointless because you’ll find yourself unable to move on, which will ultimately ruin your marriage. Maybe you seek closure and forgiveness from her, but at this juncture, you have to find closure for yourself. Start doing the work to heal, and forgive yourself. Focus on your family, talk to your wife, talk to a professional. Whatever helps you move on but that’s the key point here: go forward. There’s nothing more to be done, you can’t change it, so no point trying to figure out if you can. Onward and upward, bud.

[Asker]

I've been through 3 romantic relationships in my life but none hurts as bad as this. This has never happened to me before. Thanks for the wisdom. Im trying. Investing my time and energy where it matters.

[Opinion Owner]

Hey, the fact that this feels worse than actual breakups should just reaffirm that ultimately you made the right choice. I don't know what was happening between you two to create a romantic bond but it was too far when you’re married. It’ll definitely be better to invest your time in the things and people that are more important than this. It’ll pass.

[Leonharted]

You sound like the dude my sister fell head over heels for. The only difference was that the married guy didn't stop things, instead choosing to escalate them. She left her job, too.