How do you deal with husband that wants a divorce?

[Anonymous]

Husband wants a divorce and it’s breaking my heart because I don’t want one. He feels like he’s not happy and we just had a baby and bought a house and all these life distractions have made him forget. But now he feels like im
alwqys nagging, we’re never laughing and that he doesn’t have friends or a lifw because he’s stuck between 4 walls working from home or with me. We’ve been together for almost 10 years. 5 dating and almost 5 married. He said he would see a marriage counselor but I feel like he’s not willing to help make it work cause he doesn’t want to and just wants a marriage therapist to say “he tried”. But has no hope in us working out. I told him I loved him and would do anything to make it work and he just has no faith in us. He’s like we can go see a therapist so they can show you that we aren’t meant for each other. Said I’m to hard headed and feels like I’m masculine and we don’t get along. Is there a way to save our marriage? Can I have advice please

[TonyMetal___86]

He's telling you all these after 5 years of dating and 5 years of marriage after having a baby, what a f*cking retard he is, sorry tk say this but i feel sorry for you and it makes me angry why such good girls end up with such assh*les... maybe after all life ain't fair!

If it was me, idc to have friends or go out or anything else, i'll be the happiest man to have a lovely wife who loves me and will enjoy my time with her between these 4 walls because who haven't experienced loneliness doesn't have a clue what marriage and love and having a family is!

How can he feel bored and he have a wife and a baby?

Anyways if he's insisting on getting a divorce than there is nothing you can do about it, maybe he's cheating on you and there's another woman waiting for him so he divorce you so he can spend all the time with her, when a man starts acting like that with his wife and doesn't do his best to save his marriage than there's something fishy going on behind your back!

You want your marriage to work and we all have wanted our marriages to work but marriage is about a couple and a team work, if both aren't cooporating and aiming for the same target than they will fail because one hand can't clap on it's own!

I wish that he wakes up from his coma and realize that a marriage is sacred and no one will love him or care about him like his wife, also he have a baby, why do you want to destroy your innocent baby's life? If he gets a divorce for no harsh reason and destroys his family, he won't find comfort in his life and in the end he will burn in hell...

[Asker]

He thinks I’m too OCD, and that we never laugh and that he forgot what being happy is. I don’t think he’s cheating, he’s not secretive with his phone that I know of. His parents have been staying with us so I feel like that may have caused a little stress. His father was also staying with us for a while and left because they weren’t getting along. He told me I was like his father and hard headed and we don’t get along. And that he needs someone the opposite so he can be happy

[Asker]

He also did say he would see a marriage therapist but in my opinion he wasn’t ambitious or positive about finding ways to make it work. It was more of a “just let me go and we will be happy” and then said fine he’ll try a counselor but doesn’t think it will change anything. It’s like he gave up all hope

[TonyMetal___86]

Life has it's ups and downs and we all have our difficult times in our lives but we fix things and move on...

If he truly loves you than he shouldn't surrender for the simplest things, this a family that he's ruining, he can talk to you ans try to fix things with each other and also seek help and be positive, there is nothing in this life that cannot be fixed except for cheating, if he truly believes in his marriage and he truly loves you than he will be ready to do anything to keep his marriage lasts forever and would never mention the word divorce, if there is something bothering him about you than he must have a conversation with you about it and you both must help each other and fix the problems together so you both can keep your marriage lasts forever...

When you get married, god makes the man and the woman as one physically and spiritually, so you both act and work as one and everything will be fixed and you will both move on, don't let some shallow opsticules that occurs in your lives destroys your family and marriage, fight it and win!

[Asker]

I completely agree. This was the conversation we had last night. I really like your thought on this. I tried to calll him this morning and he was quite dry with me. I want to text him, what do I say? I want him to realize that I want to make this work and will do what it takes. If he feeels like I’m too much and not giving him the freedoms he needs then I need to try. He claims he can’t even have friends cause I’m always stressing him out. It just makes me so sad

[TonyMetal___86]

Just by saying that your willing to do anything to make your marriage works means that your an amazing wife and that's how a wife should be...

1st of all when calls you try to be soft with him, see what he likes and what makes him happy and trynto do them, bring the cheer and happiness back to your marital life and if he's still really into you than he will get soft with you again and things will start getting better and i hope that you both stay married because your a family and should be like that forever, i don't like seeing or hearing about a family on the verge of being broken...

I'm sure that your a smart lady and you will find a way to make him change...

[Asker]

He doesn’t text nor call me at all anymore. All we talk is at home and is barely a few words since he’ss talked about divorce. Should I reach out or is it best to give him space?

[TonyMetal___86]

Give him a little space to see if he will make any reaction and of not, than talk to him at home and ger everything off your chest and see if he's going to be positive, meanwhile while your giving him space try to see what he likes and what makes him happy and surprise him to see his reaction, i hope that he acknowledge with your treatment...

[omara777]

recommend to change the atmospher between you
change the place you live in for somtime like stay at hotel for week or another olace
try to have the funny soul
be attrqctive for him

and final advise and best one (try to be the best friend for him)

[Anonymous]

aren't meant for each other? he's a little late to figure that out after 10 years! he needs to say what's really bothering him... if this isn't what he wanted, he should have said something. i feel like he's blaming his sadness on you but you didn't do anything besides be a great woman. if he wanted to, he would really go to therapy. individual therapy and marriage therapy. because it sounds like he needs both.

sounds like the pandemic/working from home lifestyle got to him, just like it got to all of us. it's too much of a coincidence to just now be saying this after many many years.

if you have a newborn (first born child), it's normal to feel this way. give it some time, but he needs to work with you.

[Daniela1982]

Tons of people get divorced when they buy a new house and are faced with high mortgage payments. Mid life crisis is another thing to throw into the pot. Both of you may regret it if you get divorced. You may think you just want it over but when you are alone for awhile and are paying child support and spousal support he may decide that he should have stayed married. Maybe a trial separation would be better to start with before making the plunge. Is he on any dating sites that you know of?

[TonyMetal___86]

If someone faces these problems in his life, will he seek for divorce? Mid life crisis should be fought together at least they aren't alone and fighting these crisis alone, no matter what happens they still have each other and will fight everything with each other and not plunge more into destruction by making deadly decisions...

They truly don't know what they have until they lose it, experiencing loneliness in this life will teach them the blessing that they had before losing and that is why i hope that they won't divorce!

[Daniela1982]

@TonyMetal___86 Truly speaking - you don't know what you got until you no longer have it.

[TonyMetal___86]

True!

[Subarugirl]

Well you go to the counselor… that’s the best thing you can do

[Anonymous]

If marriage counseling is out of the question, than I say let him go.