What to do when husband says he wants a divorce and emotionally checks out?

[Hannahbanana94]

10 years together. He claims my harassing and questioning pisses him off and he’s had enough. I don’t harass I try and communicate and he doesn’t. He’s always just cursing at me or neglecting me emotionally. Anyways he left 2 months ago and moved out and started going to the clubs and wanted divorce. He didn’t file those 2 months and after I hit my lowest point and begged he decided to come back and try again

When he came back I told him we had to talk about everything. He says he didn’t wanna talk and just wanted to go on like nothing happened and try to start liking me again. Because he said he didn’t love of like me anymore. Then yesterday he told me he unlikes me more and more everyday and already checked out and tried but couldn’t make the marriage work. Did he do counseling and activiely try? NO. We argued 2 days ago because I asked him why I felt like his phone was a secret now and he responded with shut up bitch. I know he has the potential to be so kind and sweet but he isn’t to me anymore.

I love him more than anything and the thought of divorce breaks my heart. Our son is only 1.5. I feel like some other women is going to get the dream that I always wanted. He’s going to spoil her and do everything he doesn’t do to me. It sounds pathetic but i am in tears alll day and night.

[Guy13]

Likely, given how we are, if he has checked out emotionally he is physically involved with another. We work physical contact and then into emotional connection.

Very hew guys that o know have the juice for 2 emotional connected relationships 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Hannahbanana94]

He doesn’t go anywhere to be physically connected with someone

[Hannahbanana94]

He started talking about splitting assets last night and said he would take off work today so we could file.

[Guy13]

You don’t know a lot in my view 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Summeroflove]

It’s unfortunate but if he wants a divorce. Trying to force things isn’t going to make it any better.

Say a lot of prayer and get the divorce over with and try to find someone else once it’s done.

But he is being really shitty to you as well. Maybe it’s him more then you or maybe you both have a part to play in this.

But. You can’t force someone to love you. I’m sorry. You just can’t. Even though it sucks.

[Hannahbanana94]

But I don’t get why he would come back and not make active steps
To
Make us work. I feel like he came back to “rewrite” history so he can
Leave again

[Summeroflove]

I really have no idea either. It’s unfortunate and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. As long as there isn’t information you’re leaving out and you’re a good wife.

I really don’t know. I think once someone’s married. Unless there is auditory or serious abuse or something major. People should do all they can to make it work.

[Summeroflove]

Bur you can’t force someone to stay either

[Hannahbanana94]

He was so eager to just file. Claims I harass. I just try and communicate my feelings and I get ignored. Yesterday the argument started bc he told me I was hiding money in my bank account.. I said I’m not hiding anything. It’s all ours. And he was like no just do an even split.. I said why would I be doing an Even split are we goin on down the divorce route again and he said yeah. And that he tried can’t make himself like me and doesn’t care and doesn’t want to. I’m so heartbroken. Depressed. I will hit rock bottom the moment I see him with another women. 10 years of my life with him so he can learn how to treat a woman just to gloat with another and kick me to the curb. I moved and gave everything up for him.

[Summeroflove]

Communication is something that is necessary in any relationship.

[Summeroflove]

I’m so sorry. You will get through this and find someone else

[Summeroflove]

Check your messages Hannah

[Anonymous]

Start looking after yourself. Dress better, have more fun and try to ease the stress on him. Maybe sometime when he comes home from work he finds the kids at your parents and you upstairs masturbating with a new toy waiting for him to come in.

Maybe he will see again why he married you in the first place. Marraige can be hard sometimes slogging it out with mortgage, car payment and the general daily grind. It's important to have fun.

[Kryzo]

Have your tried counselling? Is your husband an Athiest?