My husband doesn’t want to work? ?

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn’t want to work, he says he does but his actions show different, we’ve been together for almost 7 years married for almost 1, I have been the breadwinner our entire relationship, and have always pushed him to get a job because 2 incomes are better than one , however, every time it’s time to get a job he starts changing (for example)
today- I had to schedule an on boarding for a temp agency , and the guy asked me when my husband was going to apply because I asked him previously about him applying, so I said well he has time to talk now for an interview and the guy says great and says he’s gonna transfer us, before I could get done saying okay my husband says “I’m eating” he had a little tiny piece of hot pocket left to eat, and I was like? This is the third time I have basically sat a job in your lap and you always have some type of excuse on why your too busy for it, then he tells the lady on the phone that none of the jobs she’s naming he’s interested in, and I told him I would work any job to keep a roof over my families head (we have 2 children ages 3 & 1)
and after the phone call he had a sour attitude and still has it hours later. Am I wrong for being ready to throw the towel in , I’m ready for divorce because I feel like he contributes to us struggling as opposed to trying to help pay things and he knows we’re struggling but yet would ask if I can buy games and give him money , knowing we need it for bills

[Anonymous]

Definitely not trying to blame or make you feel bad, but in a way you have enabled this behavior. You say you’ve been the breadwinner for the entirety of your relationship, so this means you allowed him to skirt around getting a job for 7 whole years and rationalized his laziness as “he will get one eventually”. There is no longer incentive for him to start working because after all this time, he knows you’re going to provide for him, and while that is absolutely him taking advantage and using you, I can’t even blame him when there’s been no repercussions for his actions. Maybe you’ll fight or be angry with him for a bit but he knows that’s the extent, and it’s not changing. Which leads me to say that maybe a divorce is the answer. Of course I feel like that should be the last resort, but at this point it’s not a relationship and you shouldn’t have to parent a grown man.

[Asker]

He had one job in 2019, and he recently had a landscaping job but that wasn’t on going just as they needed him, and he did plasma donation and stuff like that to have money every now and then, but just not a solid job.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly I would even count the last two, just because they seem like excuses for him to say he had a job, when he really didn’t. I think the moral of this situation is knowing what you want in a partner and being honest with yourself about that. Unless you agreed to being the breadwinner, then it is not a position you should have to settle for. In this economy it’s rare for anyone to stay afloat taking care of themselves, let alone someone else. A good husband would not want to see his wife struggle and be comfortable being taken care of all day if that wasn’t part of a plan. The fact that he’s taking such advantage is fuel enough to sign those papers.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

I would never feel comfortable with allowing the girl to work while I stay at home. As a matter of fact, even if most of my check goes to daycare, I would still rather be working and contributing a little rather than nothing at all. You married a lazy guy. It’s Time to get him out of this rut. That is what you need to YouTube which is how to get out of a rut.