I’m pregnant and working my boyfriend doesn’t want to work?

Question

I’m currently 4 months pregnant and work every day clean the house and cook my boyfriend wants to keep our child and says he excited but I’ve asked him to work and he applies for a job here and there he also messes up the house doesn’t take out the trash when I ask him to please straighten while I’m working he says he hates cleaning all he does is play video games with his friends he never comes to bed because he says he can’t sleep but then he sleeps all day while I’m working I’ve been asking him everyday to get a job so we can save money for our child he says yes but in his actions nothing other then sleep, eat and play video games. I cry almost everyday because I love him but don’t know what to do I try and set him up interviews and he chooses to sleep and tell me he’s depressed and unmotivated since COVID I need advice please I’ve talked with him over a hundred times he says he will get a job but he’s not even trying he wanted this child but isn’t taking any steps to help it’s stressing me out

Nicole975 · Accepted Answer

I think you should sit down with him and have a serious conversation. You no longer have to worry about yourself, you have a child on the way and BOTH of you (mother & child) deserve better than that.
Do you really want to raise a child in that environment? I couldn't imagine the stress you're under right now, I do understand that this is a scary time. But, your boyfriend needs to grow up and quickly, he's a father now... what kind of example will he lead for your child? That it's okay to not work a and it's okay to not care for your child and partner?

Nah sis, tell him to grow up or you're leaving and mean it. You might think you can't do it, but with time you can. At this rate your boyfriend is just another mouth to feed.
I just want to add that many colleges give scholarships to non-married mother's, I know by law in Tennessee you can go to community college for 2 years free and earn a variety of degrees. You don't have to go to school, I'm just saying there are options for a better life.

Schizoaffective · Accepted Answer

Uff that's shitty as hell
He needs to feel the heat.
Can't you move with your parents temporarily until he decides to step up his game?
Love is nice and all when there isn't responsibilities, it can be enough.
But when start to plan and put your assets together and start to form a family you need effort and commitment.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

You "love him"? Really? Or do you love what you WISH he would be? Time to face reality girl. He's not a man, he's a child.

You're not going to like the advice, but all the men here, myself included, are on the same page. You can cry all you want, but it isn't going to make him change. You need more like "divine intervention" to wake this loser up. Everyone's depressed a little because of Covid, so that's just a bullshit excuse for being a lazy fucking bum.

Take him to the slums and show him what happens to families with not enough, or no income. Impress upon him that the same is coming for you, your child and him if he doesn't get off his fucking ass and accept responsibility for the life in your belly, and for taking care of you too. At least, to do his share.

When that doesn't work, kick his ass out. It's one less mouth to feed. Hopefully you have friends and family who can help.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

The questions is whether his lack of action is due to depression or this is just who he is. If he truly is depressed, let him know that seeking professional help will show you he cares. If he doesn't take steps to get into therapy, then this is the life he chooses. Maybe this behavior was acceptable to his parents, so he never motivated himself to do anything else. Now, he may feel entitled to handouts.

Ask yourself whether you love the total package he offers or just bits and pieces. A snapshot will never give you a complete picture of all aspects of a person. Many times, people love one aspect and feel, if the other person loves them, he/she will change. Maybe you feel you have to make it work due to the pregnancy. Maybe you just fear the challenges of starting over. If you're going to stay, make sure what you see is what you can value long term.

slatyb · Answer

You can love him but he is useless, just taking up space, eating, and making a mess. You don't have a baby on the way. You already have one with another on the way. Are you better off with him or without him? Do you think you could trust him to watch an infant while you worked? Sorry, you are going to have to make some hard choices.

DCooper · Answer

Okay, well you knew he was useless when you let him knock you up. And you know he's useless now. I don't know how far along the pregnancy is, but if it's just beginning, I'd think hard about aborting it. It might not be too much of a burden to play house with one (adult age) child, but a second (infant) one will likely be too much to support on your own.

humanearth · Answer

My daughter is your age and going though the same thing. With the same bullshit.

I'm just waiting for the dickhead to take off and run. He said it before he would

Are you sure you're not my daughter.

Her guy does nothing but play video games and gets high. Sound similar don't it.

jshm2 · Answer

Your were an idiot to get involved with a deadbeat, and now you're crying because he's proving to be a deadbeat.

Give the child up for adoption, and ditch the mooching boyfriend. The child deserves better than you both.

Cicero79 · Answer

If your boyfriend is a bum why did you let him get you pregnant?

poneglyphs · Answer

damm that's rough, try giving an ultimatum.

Stevefiveo · Answer

He's a loser. Get rid of him.

Waldoe · Answer

he's a bum, good luck

In_Trance · Answer

Your boyfriend needs a walk up call.

harry7825 · Answer

Maybe you have lots of responsibility

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

You're dating a child

Anonymous · Answer

Is this your first child your pregnant with?

I’m pregnant and working my boyfriend doesn’t want to work?

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