Is this love or manipulation?

[Anonymous]

If your abusive, controlling or manipulative ex pops up unexpectedly at your job after you told them you were no longer happy in the relationship (obvious reasons) and they tell you that them popping up on you is because they care about you just that much and won’t give up on the relationship. Isn’t that disrespecting boundaries as much as it is manipulative no matter how they try to make it seem like a good and genuine thing?

[ohshee]

It is manipulation it is control that's what he's been doing it ever since you guys got together controlling you the moment you were to give in to him he returned cold-hearted and be like fuck you bitch he wants you because he can't have you that's what it's all about right there when he was with you he didn't want you now that he can't have you he wants you it's never going to work out you're always going to be in pain you're always going to be heartbroken you need to walk away before he does something stupid as an accident happens and it cost you something right now just walk away start being happy you worth it you know this there's nothing in your head in your heart that is honest to make you stay with him not one thing when you weigh it all out

[D_Bone_Steak]

I would say yes. Many so-called practices like sending flowers to someone's work or making a marriage proposal publicly are meant to manipulate by using coercion of the social situation.

If you've already made it clear that you don't want anything to do with him, actively avoid him, and then he goes to the one place where you can't avoid him... that's manipulative. If you make it known to the social forces at your work that this guy is trying to impose his will (by being controlling) by showing up at your work, then the social forces at work could quickly start to turn against him. Remember any form of contact will validate his efforts. No communication and avoidance whenever possible is the only way to get him to fuck off.

[On_cloud_wine]

More like harassment. If an ex wanted to make things work, I think calling you via phone or email would be respectful and then you can agree or not to hear him out if you were at all considering. Don’t be weak and go back if you didn’t like how he treated you

[IamAdonis]

Agreed!

[Aerissa_Jade]

Yes, manipulation... don't go to someone's work and disrupt their work, that is dis-respectful and controlling.

It also seems stalkerish to me.

[skyeee_]

it is manipulation. an ex who respects your boundaries would've left u alone

[serious_miss419]

Toxic.


Sometimes you have to move towns to move on.

[IamAdonis]

But, she shouldn’t need to! This guy needs manners!

[Wise4myage]

Definitely disrespectful , and you might have to get a restraining order.

[Heartache0405]

Seems you didn’t end things properly.