Is this love or manipulation?

[Anonymous]

So for the last two years especially me & my partner have had along problems, his addictions has spiraled & me and my children have been on the back burner of his life. So much bad has happened and I’ve been extremely hurt, me and my children are moving out soon, but my partner blames me & my lack of intimacy for his addiction becoming worse … in his eyes, he said my lack of affection would help his habit and depression, he won’t stop talking about it and says things like are you having an early night if you are I’m going out, says things when I’ve took up running again for my mental health how I could do a work out to fix my serotonin (meaning to have sex with him) every night if I’m wanting to sleep lately he will shout etc, slam doors and much more if I’m not going to talk to him or giving him the affection he needs. I am numb from the pain of this man, after robbing my family, kicking me and the children out but I’m meant to put my feelings aside and have sex with him …. To fix his drug addiction. I find thing awfull and pushes me further away from him, is this wrong for me to feel this way or understandable?

[Jessica405]

He has to get his issues sorted out by himself. He probably just wants sex a few times, then will revert to his usual bad self. He is trying to manipulate you into complying. Please think very carefully before you even think of complying.

The question to ask yourself is where is this all going to end up? What could happen if you leave? More importantly, what could happen if you stay?

[Denvere98]

Do not listen to an addict believe me I am a single father of two little girls my ex wife left when they were 1 and 3 to run the streets and do drugs wound up in and out of prison but she blamed me too. An addict will always blame someone else they can’t take responsibility for their actions you leaving is the best thing to do. Do not fall for the pitty party whining get out of there while you can. It will be hard at first but it will only make you stronger

[Asker]

Can I ask what your babies mum was addicted too? I have always tried to help him etc because I wanted that for my children, but the last two years have been terrible & his sister is an addict also I would often find myself battling against the two of them & him always disappearing with her to get his next fix, but the worst of it was throwing me & the children out, threatening if I didn’t give him money he was going to throw all my clothes out while I was at work, he went to a rehab center for six weeks but didn’t last a week, but blames me for telling him a massive lie , that I was on my cycle (when I wasn’t) just because I didn’t want to have sex with him, he checks my online banking , goes through all my social media , I’ve struck up a friendship with a male who wants has helped me & my children to get out of here, & he wants me to recover all our conversations, he tells me he wants to die, and I feel as though it’s always my responsibility to save him when I’m so sad & broken inside & I worry that when I leave what will happen as I literally do a lot for this guy (although he thinks I don’t)

[Somoneelse]

It feels like he's deep into the addiction and blaming you for it. Including the manipulation talks from him. Having sex with him is only temporary. Soon enough it won't work and he will want more.

[naartjie]

“But my partner blames me”… pack your things and say goodbye. Sounds manipulative as hell. Get the kids away from him.

[TheSpider]

What a hot mess. Pack your bags and leave. Manipulative.. its positively demonic what he is doing. GET OUTA THAT RELATIONSHIP. It is nowhere normal.