Best friend is threatening suicide and has an unhealthy relationship with her ex. How can I help?

[Billie_]

Been a while since I’ve been on here but I’ve searched the internet and can’t find any sort of advice for this.

My best friend (19F) and her boyfriend (19M) broke up around November. They’re still sleeping together, cuddling etc while going out and seeing other people. I can see my best friend has a bad attachment to him as she won’t let go and isn’t looking for anyone else. She will always make an excuse for not finding other men attractive.

Anyway so recently she’s gone actually insane. She attempted suicide a month ago, obviously me and our other friends were shocked and worried about her. But as time went on we found out it wasn’t that simple and was likely for attention. She took a large dose of paracetamol and immediately called her ex boyfriend after telling him what she’d done. Now as someone that’s attempted suicide in the past, if I wanted it to work I wouldn’t be telling anyone what I had done so it seemed suspicious.

A few days ago, she got drunk and was wandering by a train line by herself. Same thing happens again, she calls her ex and tells him she wants to jump. He cycles over the fields crying to check on her and is seriously worried.

It seems like she is trying to blackmail her ex into staying with her and I’m not sure what to do at this point as she isn’t listening to any reason and is extremely defensive whenever you question her.

I can tell she’s obviously going through it, but honestly I’m lost in how I can help her at this point, any advice is greatly appreciated. Also not sure if I should reach out to her ex boyfriend and encourage him to walk away as it’s clearly hurting him too.

Tl;dr: Best friend is attached to her ex and is threatening suicide.

[Puppystarfish23]

I'm sorry to say this but your friend sounds really toxic. I had a friend like this once she'd constantly black mail people to get them to stay in her life. She'd constantly moan about the things she didn't have in her life whilst I was there trying to fix it for her but I never got thanks for it instead she'd praise all the friends who didn't really care about her and told her what she wanted to hear and were just as toxic as her.

The first time I told her I didn't want to be her friend anymore she punched me in the face and said she was gonna tell everyone my cusion raped her as a child. It was a complete utter lie as when I told her to go to the police if what she just accused my cusion was ture and she refused and when I asked how old he was when he did this she said 10 and that she was 5 the funny thing is my cusion is only one year older than us and when I called her out on this she panicked and told me I was wrong as if I don't know my cusions age. She went on to tell everyone this lie because she wanted attention from a boy she liked and completely throw me under the bus. She then did the same to two other men until she got found out in court from her ex she'd accused after he broke up with her.

Be completely honest with her tell her what she is doing is wrong and that she has people in her life who do care about if she lives and that you want to help her move on instead of her being miserable and feeling sorry for herself. In 20 years time she will look on to what she did and be so ashamed and embrassed does she really want this or does she wanna loo back and see how strong she was to move on. If you have to black mail someone to love you it's not really love is it. If she doesn't want your help it's best to leave her to figure it out and not pay her anymore attention.

I know it sounds mean but you can't help people who don't want help

[devilish-cutie]

Why he left her? If he doesn't want to be with her anymore than he should stay away completely and not give her any hope.
The brake up is very hard on her, she still loves him and part of her wants to die so id take her suicidal behavior seriously. All you can be is her friend, talk to her and give her support, sholder to cry on and encourage her for healthy behavior and make her feel better by doing something that will make her happy, maybe its seeing her favorite band, or to cinema, or biking... whatever she likes

[motownplayer2000]

Admit her to a facility. Number one.. two, you need to tell that boy he needs to stop sleeping with her and not contact her because she will do something stupid.. it will be an accident since she definitely doesn’t want to do. She is bluffing, but all of that can still get her killed, with one slip.

[nawtee_me]

What do you think would happen if she took something and called her ex and he just blew her off? Telling her not to call him again? Would she go through with it? If so she needs help. She needs an intervention and put in the hospital

[SnakeBoop]

yup, she's emotionally manipulating the ex.
fool him for staying in any type of relationship with her. and fool him for not seeing what she's doing.

[Guanfei]

Never answer to this, she doesn't want to kill herself, and you know it, it's just blackmailing.
The ex needs to go, and as long as he doesn't and stays because of the threat, she will use it against him.

[Agape93]

Call 911 and get her on a suicide watch or get her talking to a professional.

[CuriousMufuxka]

She's acting out. People that actually want to kill themselves succeed. It's an attention grab that perhaps shouldn't be indulged. I mean let her work it out on her own.

[Juxtapose]

Looks like she needs an intervention. Get her put in the psych ward.