How do you handle breaking up with someone?

Question

Unknown_Swan_ · Accepted Answer

You do it in person and treat them like a genuine human being, with honesty and as much compassion as possible.

From my own perspective ghosting, unless the person is a complete and utter violent maniac, is quite a horrible thing to do to someone, especially someone that you supposedly 'once loved'.
Texting, face timing, calling even, can be also be quite dismissive. Unless you are concerned for your safety, it's always best to do it in person.

Do it in person, rip the band aid off, be honest and you say something along the lines of:
"This isn't working out for me, I don't see us as a romantic and sexual fit anymore.
*You say your reason* (Don't try the "let's be friends" line, as that especially to someone who still likes you romantically and sexually can be a complete kick in the face). "If you're up for being friends, I would like that, but it's up to you as I understand how hard that can be after everything we've done together. I wish you all the best, and if you ever need anything I'm always there."

How they take it is then up to them, but expect them of course being upset.
But I would always do it in person, they deserve that much especially if you've been together a while.

Jabberjaw · Accepted Answer

Relationship should be in person and no other method.

If you're in the stages before Relationship it's more a matter of how serious things have gotten/are getting and what caused it.

in my opinion. If someone shits the bed hard. Super hard. Like broke boundaries that are grounds for ending a relationship and they're not even your partner. You don't really owe them a break up.

They know they messed up. You're not together. They also know where they stand with you for the time. So if you just stop investing your time in that person you can basically breakup without breaking up. Just stop spending time with them.

Now it's not the most mature thing particularly if they're trying to talk/see you and you just ghost them. But if they don't broach the subject you can mutually not talk and that's it. If they try to contact you I think in this case text or audio text to let them know you're not really feeling it anymore is justified. Because it wasn't a relationship

If you've gone out but not over a period of time. So early early on. Haven't had sex yet and you know you don't want to see them again. A text is the polite thing to do.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

I’ve never really broken up with someone, but I have been broken up with, and it's almost always been over text. My first real boyfriend broke up with me (for the 3rd time) in person, as he dropped me off at home lol… He broke up with me the first two times over text because he was dealing with a lot of personal mental health issues, and just couldn’t face me in person or over call/FaceTime.

My second boyfriend broke up with me over text every single time, granted, it was a semi-long distance relationship. However, it was always right after we hung out for a weekend. He just never had the balls to break up in person lol. If I could've broken up with this ex, I 100% would have done it over the phone, because I don't know what would have happened in person, so that seems like the safest option.

If I were to break up with someone, I would do it over the phone or in person, whichever one is better or safer for me. I think people deserve to get at least an explanation or KNOW that they are getting broken up with, whether it be text, call, video call, or in-person… That is always better rather than just ghosting them.

enirikiu · Answer

In-person is the only way I can see being respectful. Unless there are extenuating circumstances (someone is sick, unable to travel etc.) then in-person is the best way. It’s helpful to see the body language and cues from the other person so you can respond appropriately and negotiate any misunderstandings. Even if you do this however, be on guard and be careful afterwards. These are just words of wisdom from my own personal experience. Even after settling things seemingly civilly, everything could still go south. Protect yourself and surround yourself with a support network.

Although I did do this and we discussed the terms of our breakup very clearly, somehow my ex became confused about them again despite me repeating everything multiple times, and he began to spread untrue rumors about me and act petty and toxic towards me. I don’t like to talk bad behind people’s back at all, so I never did it to him once during our relationship or even after really, but I later found out that he had been speaking ill of me during our very relationship. Friends all later told me; everyone (including his own family) told him to stop talking about me and presenting me as a mentally ill person (which I’m definitely not...), but he apparently couldn’t see what was wrong with what he was doing, and kept at it. I can’t count this as talking bad about him since I’m not speaking of his character but only his actions and how I was treated - I’m glad to have the support of my friends and current boyfriend who insisted that I wasn’t being toxic. My current boyfriend actually was friends with all of us and witnessed these things happen behind my back and later let me know. My ex even tried to, after dissing me really hard, had the audacity to try to become friends with my boyfriend too; my boy denied, confused at why someone would diss me then try to be friends with my boyfriend... I’m grateful to have buddies and loved ones who will stand up for me when I have no understanding of what is happening. Remember to rely on others... that’s what I’ve learned.

PrettyPriya · Answer

This is something I absolutely do in person. I think it is only right to do so that way. Being impersonal about something like a breakup is the cheap way out of it.

Unless I felt I would be in some sort of danger for doing it in person, that is the only way I would do it, simply out of respect for that person. Breaking up isn't easy, no matter what.

To take the easy way out through a text or similar and then just block them shows low moral character in my opinion. Now, I also realize sometimes there are reasons you cannot do it in person.

Should a situation like that arise, for whatever reason, I would at least do it by phone.

tokyolights · Answer

I originally told him in person that it wasn't working out and it was best to be friends, and he definitely agreed!! It was okay for a few weeks until he started flirting with me all over again. Then we stopped hanging out when in friend groups cause I had purposely put distance between us. Then he texted me this huge fukin paragraph saying how he was still In love or something and I was so done being nice I texted him and told him "it's been over for a long time, I am not interested anymore". So fun!!

Blueeyes81 · Answer

It kind of depends. The last one was by text. I hadn't intended to break up with her when I woke up. But she kinda left me no choice. I had a text from her saying she had feelings for her best friend but not to worry as he wasn't right for her. Well that didn't sit well with me as I had asked her months ago when we first started dating about the two of them. I had my suspensions but she said that she definitely did not have any feelings for him and not to worry that they were just close friends. Against my better judgement I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Thus me breaking up with her over text So my modes to breakup vary from situation to situation.

DaveJord · Answer

I would love to say I do it in person, but honestly in the adult world when you may not see them every day or not at all if you do not have date scheduled... its really hard to break up with people in person. Because for a lot of the women I have dated I only see them when we have a date or plan to meet and go out. So you do not want to make a plan to go out with someone jus to ambush them with a break up, just so you can say you did it in person.

So I never do it through text... but I do at the very least give them a call and do it over the phone. It just better then having her met you some where and getting ambushed with a break up.

But if this is a person you see all the time through out the course of your day to day life then the only way you should want to do it is in person. Like you're 17 so you see this person at school every day, so you should have the courage to do it in person if you want to do it the right way.

DenizLikesTennis · Answer

I would break up in person. So I'd call her on the phone to come over my house and tell her that I am not feeling so well because there is something to talk about very important. I'd never ever break up/talk with her about this in public/during a date.

Also, I'd spend some time about this and not like so short: "I am breaking up with you goodbye". I will let her talk, what she says and so on.

And when it's finally over, I'd give her a big hug as a goodbye. there'll be so many tears, pain and sick thoughts... but on the flip side you'll grow stronger

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I’ve only had a one boyfriend which I’ve loved a lot for more than 3 years already.

We have had a tough time due to pandemic’s strict restrictions in his country, China and we have been forced to be apart for 2 years, we broke up about 10 times in the past 6 months due to inability to meet each other, but we reunite again and again.

Because I love him and even though it’s been a long time and a huge distance between us, he loves me too.

I hope we’ll make it after suffering for so long. Would be awful to be without him, I always get what I want and if I want him I can’t imagine not having him.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I haven’t had to deal with a break up in almost 8 years because I’m smart enough and strong enough to stay single unlike majority of you idiots out there who are just now coming to realize that being alone and avoiding sex is better.

I still deal with the occasional heartbreaks now and then because apparently my nature is still to find someone. Fighting that is difficult, but necessary in todays world or I’ll end up a pawn in the leftist feminist game. I refuse to become a woman’s lapdog like Will Smith. Look where that got him. Relationships always end the same way anyway. In either a break up or a nasty divorce.

Moose304 · Answer

About 4 years ago I was sitting in a pub a few miles outside of London. My mind was so full of problems to solve I was really just sitting at a table looking outside. Over time I started to have a conversation with a lady in her mid-40s who told me she was in there to get a drink or two inside her before going home to pack up and leave. She had caught her husband for the final time cheating. I only gave her one piece of advice and that was to STOP consuming alcohol. It only makes it worse. There is no easy way to do this. I think of it as ripping a bandage off an arm. You do so quickly and toss the bandage in the trash.

saintsRow3 · Answer

It takes me a week to break up with Girls
Going to dinners going to movie theaters
Hanging out and Banging a lot for a week.
And then after a week of me being fun nice and there for the Girl. I do one last dinner at a Expensive Restaurant. And I Tell the girl I’ve got a surprise. I then take out a well wrapped Gift box🎁 it has a Letter in it.
And I tell her to read the letter with the letter there is a 20 dollar bill 💵 inside of the envelope. And the letter goes onto explain that The whole entire week was to show What she’s gonna be missing. And since I’m a nice Guy I wanted the Breakup to be epic. As for the 20 dollar bill I go onto explain in another letter that the Bill is Fake and Giving a actual 20 dollar bill would defeat the purpose of it being a breakup.

sheikalana · Answer

This is without any doubt one of the most hurtful things someone can go through. To me it's necessary to part both ways on early stages of the breakup. Don't talk to them, don't text them, delete social media apps from your phone if necessary. Take time for yourself and get busy. It takes time but time heals everything.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

Depends on the depth of the relationship. If it's just been a few dates then text is fine, in person or at least face to face via vid is best for a serious relationship.

I only suggest ghosting when something toxic is happening.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s better to do it in person to show your seriousness. If you do it like call or text. It’s not as serious. And he/she might not take you serious.

Its also childish and unprofessional. The same way you don’t quit a job through text and call. It shows immaturity and low value.

Kaneki05 · Answer

All depends on the circumstances. Cannot exactly do it in a person within a LDR for example. If stuff was abusive it's better to ghost and run.

kellytheman · Answer

I always do it in person. You should never do it any other way in my opinion you owe them to man or up just say it's not working out. Also do it in the nicest way possible and be sympathetic and compassionate about its a little hard for people especially women when there is a break up. With every girl I broke up with it always ended good and some are still friends with and some with benefits.

exitseven · Answer

I would rather do it in person. I did it over the phone once because we had a long distance relationship.

wa1t1ngFuture · Answer

usually i would joke with my female cousins like "ahhh i broke up with a girl oh damn!! but that's okay in this world there are still many girls"

i only broke up 1 because the girl was very far from myhouse , and i also never met... that time i messaged in my last chat there were so many messages.. .. so much advice about life and some things about me that he didn't know and apologies and goodbye and also hope that girl it can find a good man and also suit her... thanks

1

hahahmm · Answer

What happens is a guy will tell a woman straight up that it's over. Then she becomes a stark raving mad stalker who is calling him at 3AM or destroying his car. THEN he stops talking to her and she runs to social media/ news writer claiming that he ghosted her. Ha ha.

libsaretards · Answer

I have always been the one being broken up with. They at least had the integrity to do it in person, which is what I would do as well.

Anonymous · Answer

If you are friendly enough to break up in person, then sure. Most relationships end in tragedy, argument, cheating, etc. Would you waste your time breaking up with someone in person who destroyed your things, cheated, lied, etc? I wouldn’t.

DavidRaul · Answer

Well its probably best to do face to face, venting everything and making things clear

silkjames · Answer

I always did it face too face you got look the person in there eyes and explain why too each other. I don't want her hateing on me especially if I still want to be friends with her Im still good friends with my ex'es from way back in the day and people that ghost people thats a weak coward move nomatter how crazy the relationship ended up i never experience it but knew other friends that did it to his/her ex'es I could never understand that but yeah just saying lol:)!

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

In person. I think everyone deserves that. It's also easier to make sure that you're clear and that there are no misunderstandings.

Blackcupcake · Answer

the times I did end things with someone, I did it in real life, face to face and that is so they see, that I am dead serious, no misunderstandings which can easily happen over text and easier communication

AviatorTom · Answer

I've broken up with them, and they have broken up with me, using various techniques: email, text, in person, on phone. In my experience, email/text was most common.

Valso · Answer

I used to get emotional but I got numb and don't care anymore. Nowadays I stay away from romantic relationships but even if I didn't, I still wouldn't care and would ghost them.
There's only one woman I'd give a romantic chance but frankly my chances for ever making it to Mars are far greater than ever meeting her. 😆

Anonymous · Answer

I actually have a conversation with my SOs when we first get together about how to end things in such a way as I can still respect them and we can continue being friends... It has actually SAVED relationships because it requires conversation and sometimes a simple change to the relationship is all that is needed.

serious · Answer

I don't think there is any well defined way as such.

SeanshterMonster · Answer

The only right way is in person. I've been dumped in the middle of the night over text and it ruined me. It was 3 years ago, and it still left a scar, I'll never find anyone ever again

TheLoneTerran · Answer

I've done my breaking up withs in person. I'd say about 1/2 of being broken up with was in person, and the other half a mixture between phone call and text.

moonpie89 · Answer

I only had to do it once. I did it in person. He knew it was coming since we've been having issues. It was really bad. He cried 😢

ohshee · Answer

How do you handle it do you mean how do you break up with somebody or how do you handle after breaking up with somebody

sassyredhead · Answer

Do it in person my last one was texting and phone call because he couldn't face seeing me cry.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

If we're on good terms then in person.. If not.. Probably over a text

swastik_1510 · Answer

Because I don't want to connect to the person with whom I actually ended my all connections I just call them to make sure they felt of me when they need 😂

TDDMS · Answer

The best way to handle breakups is not to have romantic relationships. If you aren't romantically involved, you don't have to worry about breakups.

DWornock · Answer

Realize that are tens of thousands just like her and move on to the next one.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

It's usually them ending things with me.  I delete their number a week later, rid myself of anything that reminds me of them.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

I do it in person and try to deflect the reason of separation as my fault. Of course it's mutual but I don't have many feelings and I can take it on me.

boobliker · Answer

go and have the last fuck and as i cum I tell them that, s your last time i have been kicked in the balls once.

EaterPeter · Answer

Depends. Neither way is wrong. Always try to go notch up but it is not always advisable

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

In person. It has got to be in person. Out of respect.

Wise4myage · Answer

Always do it face to face.

Iron_Man · Answer

You feel bad for a long time but you have to get back up on your horse and look for it once again

OddBeMe · Answer

Ghost, but slowly. Like you’re Marty Mcfly slowly fading from their life.

msc545 · Answer

In person. People that ghost are cowards.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

In person. Always in person.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

It should be done in person, preferably

Guy13 · Answer

In person eye-eye

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I just move on and talk to girls as friends

WhitneySnow · Answer

I do it in person

Nmdr3 · Answer

I couldn’t do it unless they cheated.

TenkRealist · Answer

I would text them and text it out.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

I facetime them in person. Then I ghost them 👻

EyeKnowMeNahYou · Answer

We meet little we discuss we break up we move on

dolemite89 · Answer

i have sex with as many girls as i can 😂

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

I just move on

driven159 · Answer

get lost move on

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