Why women protect abusive men?

[Anonymous]

My sister husband is verbally abusive to her and he screams like a mad man and he also is doing this to my niece. I tell my big sister baby you got to leave. She fights me on this gets so mad at me and protecting him at all cost. I also have reason to believe her husband is molesting their daughter. I’m hurt she won’t leave and I can’t understand why she protects him? What can I do? My husband says leave it alone and let god work on it. I told my husband I wouldn’t be a real sister if I didn’t try to save her. What should I do? And why does this happen in abusive house holds?

Updates

+1 y

She is my older sister by the way

[Gent207]

Stockholm syndrome mixed with years of gaslighting (since they were dating). She has been gaslight by the promise "I won't do it again" so many times that she's suspicious of anything that doubts it and defensive of anyone who questions this version of himself that she has constructed in her mind.
Do your research on spousal abuse from survivors and collect evidence. Document any fresh bruises, burns etc. Save all screenshots and voice-mail. Have a journal of your discoveries with dates and details.
If you have any solid proof of sexual abuse collect it and call CPS.
I'm sorry this is happening to you abd your family. Do not give up fighting for her, you could be her best path to freedom.

[Asker]

Thank you I’m slowly but surely trying. I noticed a while back on my sister what looked like a cigarette burn on her. As far as my niece goes she is 13 and her whole personality has changed for the worst and she wears all black and is peeing on her bed room floor?

[Gent207]

Bed wetting is a symptom of sexual abuse (and other possible health problems). As I said gather the evidence and hand it over to Child Protective Services. If this continues your niece could be attempting sucide by high school.

[Asker]

She peeing on the carpet and maybe the bed too. She’s also cutting herself

[serious]

There is nothing you can do. You can only help someone who is willing to help themselves.

Even god helps those who help themselves. In your sister's case it seems that she does not want to come out it, doesn't want to help herself.

[Asker]

I’m afraid for her and her daughter safety

[serious]

Well as I said there is nothing you can do as a person. She has to realize what is happening with her and take action. If she is willing to stand up to abuse only then she can get help otherwise not.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Hopefully she runs into a guy she will see is cemetery different, I believe if she grows interest in another man and feels the little bit of happiness she will drop him like a bug

[TheMajesticKing777]

Cemetery? I meant actually*

[TheMajesticKing777]

Or was it completely*

[bamesjond0069]

Because she prefers the overall situation to the one leaving him offers. Its that simple. And there isn't anything you can do about it. you're just going to mess up your relationship with her or invite drama into your own family.

[Asker]

I can’t have a relationship with her because she doesn’t act the same and she’s mean because she’s being abused

[bamesjond0069]

Well thats just how it is. But i can tell you if you step in too much he will demand none of them ever talk to you again. Or show up at your house and cuss you out. Id assume you dont want either thing to happen?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she is afraid of being alone or uprooting the family and the disruption it will cause, sometimes leaving isn’t so easy