Why do people support only women when men too are victim of domestic violence and abuse?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It starts with law enforcement who often arrive on these scenes, take one look at a man who is perhaps twice the size of his girlfriend/wife, and they laugh at the situation like "how can that little woman" do this to you. I mean, if the police don't even believe you or seek to help you, what hope have you in greater society? Generalizing here, but I think society as a whole thinks of women as things that need protection. If that above situation were reversed, they would be offering to drive her to a woman's shelter or a parents house or somewhere safe and arresting the man. There is no shame placed on her for not fighting back or for calling for help, but if a man punches back or asks for help, he rarely gets it or as much.

Though not quite the same thing, as this would be child abuse, but I had a friend in high school, 17 years old, who was being beaten by his mother. I'm not talking about a few taps here and there, she was taking a bat to him, and she broke his arm. At that point, I said to him, the police need to be involved. He would not have been taken away from his family as his sister who had moved out, was an adult who could have and would have easily taken him in, but he felt shame with his situation for some friggin' reason, and he like a lot of abuse victims, didn't want to stir the pot or make it worse, or get in his case, his mom in trouble. I think for men, there is this element of ego, where a man should be able to handle the situation, handle a woman, but abusive crazy people are just that---they don't need to be handled, they need to be in jail for what they are doing, because it doesn't get better. It takes one wrong move, and they could easily kill you.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

They don't.
Unfortunately, though, patriarchal society makes advocating to protect male victims of domestic abuse a mock worthy thing because many men hold the mistaken impression that they can't be victims of abuse.

So many abused men gaslight themselves out of thinking they're abused, or accept their abuse "like a man".

Advocate for men's shelters where you live. Taking direct action will not only contribute to helping these men, but you'll feel better and be able to point to your work as a way you and others are providing support to the men who need it.

DextroShade · Accepted Answer

Feminism, specifically the insanely misandrist Duluth Model that police departments are trained in that says its always the man's fault, material facts be damned. I have heard stories of men calling these domestic abuse help lines and getting told they were the abusers! This is a big part of why I encourage men to fight back, specifically to use submission holds, since they are just going to assume you are the abuser anyway; if you are going to do the time you might as well do the crime.

normalice · Accepted Answer

There is absolutely a wide ranging network of support available for men. Maybe part of the reason there is less than there ought to be because men don't acknowledge anything that is there so too few use it thus driving down the appearance of demand? If we want to fix the problem we should be honest about it instead of milking a false narrative around it for moar victimhood..

Anpu23 · Answer

There's a lot of history here. Lets talk about the "One Woman" concept of the 1970's. In the 70's there was a statement that was bantered around feminist circles that said if ONE WOMAN was abused or raped it sent a message to ALL women, and it was a tool of the <patriarchy> (a modern term but the concept was the same) to control women. In other words that domestic violence was a tool used by men as a form of social control.

This was codified into a system called the "Duluth Model" of domestic violence. It assumes a female victim and male perpetrator. This model was created by a feminist think tank, and became the base model for law enforcement training, the courts, domestic violence hotlines and shelters. In other words the concept of "one woman" was ipso facto codified into the legal system.

Further, the idea of male victims was an attack on the concept of "one woman" as it implied that it was more a psychological issue that is not a gendered violent act. Feminists fought hard to suppress and change the narrative going even so far as to threaten the life of the creator of the first domestic abuse shelter for saying that "men could be victims too." (She was driven out of England under threats for her and her family's safety). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey

Feminists have even lied to congress saying that "There is no evidence of widespread male victims" while quoting Erin's book that clearly stated that there was. Further there are a whole bunch of shelters, councilors, victim advocates and hotlines that exist because of the Duluth model. Lots of people's income, grant money etc. So there is a large group of people that feel that the truth (That most domestic violence is reciprocated and the cases where it's not are primarily (60%) perpetrated by women - (PMC survey an domestic violence)) directly threatens their livelihood. So again we see a change of narrative, things like "pre-emptive self defense" come into play (she hit him because he was going to hit her), and many abuse hotlines that will only classify men as abusers.

Further US government funding for domestic abuse is tied to the office of protection of women and children (https://www.justice.gov/ovw ) which is statutorily forbidden from funding male shelters or supporting male victims. (Remember the lie I spoke about earlier, that's how this office was enacted, by that set of congressional hearings).

Okay TLDR: Feminists intentionally and institutionally made it that way.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Normal people do not tolerate or accept abuse against anybody regardless of age or race or gender, it's just some do not know that a male is being abused because they have a bias that favours females over males. It's important to provide evidence and help spread awareness when a male tries to leave this type of relationship and help him get custody of the kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Gosh, so many incel men on this site complaining like women. News flash, women and men are not equal. The number of domestic abuse caused by men vs. inflicted to men is incredibly unbalanced, where you hear 50 stories of a man abusing a woman, you’ll hear.. maybe.. one story of a man being abused by a woman. If the number were more balanced then obviously there wouldn’t be such a skewed viewpoint of it, but it isn’t.

I see it like this. Most, over 95% of school shooters are white male. It’s expected, it’s regular to assume the shooter is a white male. If out of 99 white school shooters, one is an Asian man, does that drastically change the fact that most school shooters are white men? No it doesn’t. But in the mind of an ignorant extremist, it does. And that’s what the men on this site are. Ignorant extremists.

DarkLegacy · Answer

Blame feminism, they are only interested in women being victims of crime and men being the perpetrators. I see politicians in the UK speak about domestic abuse and the make a point of saying they are only speaking for the women.

sheikalana · Answer

This is still a taboo but I strongly believe men suffer from domestic violence more than we think.

tzdc21 · Answer

Because we live in a world where nobody gives a damn about men and our struggles. If anything, they're more interested in adding to our struggles than solving them, and only focusing women's issues.

inhua · Answer

men are disposable and expendable in society can't point this shit out without being labeled a sexist, misogynist, incel, whiny, crybaby, loser, bigot, white supremacist, Nazi etc.

Billlewis · Answer

If the woman I'm serving chooses to beat that ass, under absolutely no circumstances will I ever complain or threaten her with the authorities, because she is the ultimate authority.

noohair · Answer

I can post a dozen different pictures of marks on my face. She wanted me in jail because she could no longer change my behavior.

Emilianorodríguez · Answer

Never in my life have I supported nor will I support a woman.

alphakennybody93 · Answer

Because regardless of the games and fantasies the American culture tries to play on the world a woman is the weaker sex. Basic biologically if you haven't figured that out grow some balls see a Dr about low T

genericname85 · Answer

because we live in a misandrist society.

Simslover92 · Answer

I don't know but it's so wrong.

Fuentes · Answer

Double standards

exitseven · Answer

Nobody thinks that men can get abused.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because no one gives a shit about men.

Anonymous · Answer

Because men are treated as disposable

Why do people support only women when men too are victim of domestic violence and abuse?

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