My therapist told me that when you're in an abusive relationship, the normal time it takes to get over someone goes out the window.
I was engaged to a woman who was emotionally abusive and EXTREMELY manipulative (There was no physical abuse). She wasn't doing it on purpose. We both realized later that she was trying so hard to convince herself of certain things that she would gaslight me. The logic was that if she could convince me that her behavior was ok, then she would have no reason to doubt it herself. She cheated and left me 3 days before we were supposed to start living together. We were together 7 months and engaged for 4. She left, regretted leaving 2 weeks later and started leading me on again, then discovered she was pregnant and restarted gaslighting as she slowly faded from my life.
We broke up 18 months ago. We stopped talking a year ago. I got a tiny tiny bit of closure 6 months ago and that was the moment I finally began the process of moving on. But still, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her several times. Our wedding would have been last week. I have made good progress in these 6 months but still, 6 months of grieving a 7 month relationship feels long. Maybe because it took a year to get any closure has caused it to feel like a 19 month relationship? Either that or I'm still just damaged from the manipulation.
I was engaged to a woman who was emotionally abusive and EXTREMELY manipulative (There was no physical abuse). She wasn't doing it on purpose. We both realized later that she was trying so hard to convince herself of certain things that she would gaslight me. The logic was that if she could convince me that her behavior was ok, then she would have no reason to doubt it herself. She cheated and left me 3 days before we were supposed to start living together. We were together 7 months and engaged for 4. She left, regretted leaving 2 weeks later and started leading me on again, then discovered she was pregnant and restarted gaslighting as she slowly faded from my life.
We broke up 18 months ago. We stopped talking a year ago. I got a tiny tiny bit of closure 6 months ago and that was the moment I finally began the process of moving on. But still, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about her several times. Our wedding would have been last week. I have made good progress in these 6 months but still, 6 months of grieving a 7 month relationship feels long. Maybe because it took a year to get any closure has caused it to feel like a 19 month relationship? Either that or I'm still just damaged from the manipulation.
