It took me approximately five months. He broke up with me on August 1st 2024 and I can honestly say I got over him completely on New Year's Day. When he told me he proposed to someone else, I felt nothing. No hurt, no malice. Nothing.
The hope I had and future I thought I would have with him is now out of my system and I don't see it ever coming back.
You have to say it in your head you have to acknowledge it then it's over and it will be easier and faster what happened to the fall in love with the guys in three days is it it's infatuation is something new so you have to be careful of that will do just relaxing to yourself don't worry about anything don't even think about it I know it's hard to do if you do think about it just tell yourself look it's over with leave it alone leave it alone you're going to be okay Look at everything you've been through in life and look at all the bad things you made it through right you're going to make it through this too but understand something all the pain that you feel is really all the love that you have to offer somebody so you have to be happy about that this all happens for a reason because there's going to be a new guy it's going to wow you baby left the 3-day lust love guy but. There will be somebody that comes into your life sweets you off your feet and then that's when you're going to say somewhere down the road everything happens for a reason
It is okay to love him still I mean you start out as friends this is what I don't understand when people you start out as a friend and when you break up everybody thinks they're supposed to be the big drama fight and you're supposed to hate each other that's b******* you start out as friends you into his friends that shows your character that shows who you are in life it shows that you can handle things and that you're going to get through it i
Thank you. I know I am truly over it. I have acknowledged it. And even if things don't work out with the 3 day guy, I am a lot stronger than I was and have healed from the breakup and ready to embrace whoever is meant to be in my life.
I was married for 30 years and ththn she divorced me. It was amicable but still hurt. I waited about 4 months before I joined an online dating site for people my age, and started dating. I met several interesting women, and after a few years I met the woman I married... we are at 8 years and counting.
It took me two full years to get over the guy I guess its cuz I was still in love with him and he made me feel like I was worthless and that was hard to come back from. It's much easier and faster to get over someone you either don't like anymore or already fell out of love with.
I put three to six months, of course that varies depending on feelings and length of time dated. My current guy and I have been together for five years with currently no plans to split.
The truth is that by the time I called her on the phone to break up with her I was already over her. It was still hard to do and afterwards I wondered if I made a mistake but it really was for the best.
So, after years or months together, you just stopped being together? You never remembered them? Didn't you miss them? Didn't you long for them? Their closeness or even just their voice?
@idonotlikeyou we didn't "just stop being together" no... it wasn't sudden or random, we reached a point to which we had to consider further plans, big plans... the kind of plan that would drastically change things for both of us, and... since those changes were not going to adjust in a better way for the both us... one or the other would have to sacrifice too much, we did opt for the other option, which was to go on our way, for the best, to both
do I remember them? yes, of course... like I said, we're in touch today, in a friendly manner
do I miss them? no... I don't like to miss or long for people, if we've moved on
the only ones I do miss... they're the ones waiting for me, at whichever world they're at now
I feel sorry for them. Or for you. You can't just stop feeling a deep connection and move on. Even if there was no chance to make things work together, no way to find a compromise that worked for everyone, deep feelings can't just be pushed aside like that. You can't stop feeling love on command, just because plans stopped aligning.
I almost wish I could talk to those people. To find out what it looked like from their perspective.
@idonotlikeyou we're not sorry for each other at all... we didn't lose any deep connection, we're still have a great bond as long time friends
so we didn't push feelings aside, they just "evolved" into a friendship, in fact... I was good great friends with both at first, and before the romance, so...
we still love each other, just in a different way
if you actually have questions for them, feel free to ask, I can ask them...
I didn’t say that you or your ex feel sorry for each other. I said that I feel sorry for all of you.
I understand that for you, love and deep feelings are something you can shape or change as you wish.
It’s just a pity that this complete disconnection from your own feelings allows you to think this way. Because emotions aren’t a remote-controlled toy. They are forces of nature that, once you bring them to life, can’t simply be turned off or changed at will.
You can manage emotions or your reaction to them. But you can’t control emotions themselves. If you truly love someone and there’s a need to end the relationship, that feeling of love takes years to fully fade or potentially transform into something else. And even that isn’t under your control. Because as "something else," it might genuinely become friendship, but unresolved issues can also surface, and instead of friendship, all that’s left is regret.
But I’m not going to try to convince you. I’ve shared my opinion and I’m disappearing, because, as you said, other forum users are unhappy with my input.
"if you actually have questions for them, feel free to ask, I can ask them..." You don't usually answer my questions. I also don't find a pleasure in being ghosted. No, thank you.
@NathanDavis I didn’t expect you to confirm your own words anyway. This is what you wrote to me in a DM as an "explanation" of why I was supposed to message you and why you didn’t do it yourself. But it’s not perfect, so you won’t admit it publicly. Enjoy your fake life.
Think it depends a great deal on the circumstances , your time of life , your involvement , whether children are involved , things can drag on , or end quickly with no need to " get over " , think when its more of a surprise that it get tougher , takes longer.
I moved on fast. Once I caught him in bed with my best friend. It was over fast. That's why you need yourself one them wholesome boys. Like Richie Cunningham from Happy Days
Depends on the ex. My first took me 2+ years since she was my first everything and we left things on a ambiguous note, my middle 2 exs took 4-7 months each and my last (who i was engaged too) took 3-4 months of wind therapy (a sick motorcycling adventure), and meeting the mother of my child.
3 to 6 months and im happy for you. Your an amazing person and an even more amazing friend that deserves to be happy. Good luck to you and if you ever need you im here for you.
It has never taken me anywhere near a month to get over an ex. A day, maybe. If we break up either she or I, or both, were unhappy. Under those circumstances, staying with someone is unfair so I move on.
After 20 years of marriage it was about two years even though at the time I thought I was badically over her afterca few months. There was still an impact. Maybe it's because it was the first time I had neen cheated on.
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