What's the longest time it took to get over your ex?

[Anonymous]

I know this usually depends on how long the relationship was. Regardless, how long did it take? Because I have a feeling I'm not going to be getting over this for a couple of years, really. I'm that slow at recovering. My last one wasn't even a relationship or an official date and it took 1.5 years. I'm not the type that jumps from guy to guy, either. (I tried and I felt even more miserable. Forget that.)

If it took a long time for you, how did you cope (what did you do)? (preferably not answers like rebounding off other chicks/dudes).

[brickwork]

I think the best advice I've had in terms of how to cope is just to remember:

You will feel better. And that's worth waiting for. You know how it feels to be really happy with someone and you will feel that again one day, when the time is right. Except that next time, the guy will be more attractive, more interesting and nicer! ( I still can't imagine meeting someone that I like more than my ex, but I know that day will come eventually and it will take me by surprise!)

I think it's hard when you see people around you, or particularly your ex, moving on really quickly and not seeming to need any time to get over you, whilst we are stuck agonising for months or years and waking up crying every morning and not sleeping at night etc...

I try also to think of the Buddhist idea that life is suffering, ie life includes pain, loneliness, disappointment etc and that is something to be accepted.

Also to try to live in the present, just taking each day as it comes (again I find this hard because it's much easier to escape into an imagined future!)

Hang on in there, things are only going to get better!

[greeneyedgal1]

It took me about 14 months or so to get over my first boyfriend. Another guy I was with for 10 years, and it took me about 2 years to get over him. The relationships ended for different reasons. I allowed myself to be depressed, cry, stay in bed, watch sad movies, not go out for 3 months and be a hermit. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to hang out with friends again, stay busy with school and my job and be ALONE. Sometimes the pain was so bad for me that my chest ached and I was numb. I never thought I would feel better but as time wore on more and more, the pain subsided. In both cases, after about 12 months I went out, partied, dated whoever I wanted with no strings and made things about ME. I have to say, those were some of the best times I ever had.

[timetowaste]

I was in a relationship for 5 years. It took me the better part of a year to let go of it and completely move on. In my situation, I coped by knowing that it was the best decision for me and my child. I listened to sappy love songs, and watched chick flicks and cried. Crying is part of the grieving process and sometimes necessary to move on. Then I picked myself up and realized I had more of a purpose than myself, and started making myself happy.

[Wlad14]

Let me ask you, did you dump the guy? and had a hard time recovering? or did he break up with you?

[timetowaste]

I broke up with him.

[stercor]

I was in love with a girl when I was in the Army in Germany. It didn't work out even though we loved each other deeply.

I've never stopped loving her, thinking of her daily, ...

That was in 1965.

I've managed by putting the memory in a box in my mind and only opening it to myself, and the rest of the Internet now... :-)

[TC123]

Well, this one girl dumped me when I was 20 because I was "too nice", and that f***ed me over for about 5 years. I still dated but I wasn't myself & I wasn't happy, and I tripped about that episode for along time before realizing what the real problems were.

[gongdachen]

I am taking all my life to forget her.May we are a kind of persons who are full with emotion.You have not to trouble with that,just keepingeverythings inside.

[HuskerChick]

I took me a couple months to get over my ex, and what helped was ignoring him. It helped a lot thinking that if I was not able to talk to him or think of him it will be easier to get over him, and it did help alot.

[HopelesslyCurious]

I still have the ring I intended to propose to my girlfriend of a year, that was about 7 months ago now and I am struggling. I can't even think about starting a relationship with any other woman right now and I take every day as it comes since we both were really in love with each other.

Who knows what the future will bring? All the best x

[Anonymous]

wow to fully get over my last relationship took me about a year and a half it was hard I'm barley getting to the point where I even want to meet people again. just don't hit the bottle