Does one ever get over your best friend, lover, mate cheating on you? Especially if they do it over a longer time frame?

Does one ever get over your best friend, lover, mate cheating on you? Especially if they do it over a longer time frame?
Married 3 years. Met in the Navy. We did everything together. Moved to a small state university town when we got out and started (finish for me) university. She was working at the local hospital. I graduated and got into grad school, was invited on several expeditions and was becoming very “up and coming” in my field. She told me she was bored and wanted to rejoin the Navy. I was going to get a PhD anyway and figured I could do that anywhere so I supported her in pursuing a better career. She left for her duty station late that October. I finished my semester and joined her in December. So two month separation. She was distant. She suggested I return to grad school in the previous state and finish and rejoin her in the spring. Long story short, she’d been having an affair with her boss aboard ship the entire time. She admitted it one day, but made it seem like a singular event. It wasn’t. I left. Returned. We were going to work it out. I caught her one weekend meeting him again. Ended it. She begged me to take her back and take her away. So I did. I through myself deep into work, houses, success, kids etc. I was hospitalised recently for major surgery on my back. She saw me once. Never called. Distant again. That brought all those memories from years ago crashing right back. Questions. Feelings of worthlessness. No love. You know the story. I never had pushed her about her affair. She left the Navy, we left the state, moved 1800 miles away. Never talked about it again. But she never did act like she desired me. Like before her affair. So sex became less and less frequent. Then it was “it hurts”. Then it was “I just don’t feel aroused”. So when she appeared very uncaring while I was in the hospital, it was just like going back in time to her affair. Sat her down and demanded answers. Who? Why? How long? Etc. I got most of the answers except why.

am I ever going to get over this?
Does one ever get over your best friend, lover, mate cheating on you? Especially if they do it over a longer time frame?
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