Is it possible to have feelings for some one but then they fade away within 2 or 3 days?

[Anonymous]

So I’ve been with this guy for a little over a month now. We both say we have very strong feelings for each other. We spent last weekend together and it was amazing. We spent cuddling and kissing on each other and rubbing on each other and just loving on each other. He told me 3 days ago he missed being with me. So we live very far away from each other so it would have to be a long distance relationship and we both decided we couldn’t do that bc we missed each other so much after we left each other over the weekend. We both had a very hard time leaving. So we decide 2 nights ago we were going to have to end this before we both got more attached and it would hurt. Well we ended up handling ending it terribly and we both hurt each other. We cried together in FaceTime that same night and the next morning both us crying pretty hard. Today we were talking again just kind of putting everything out there bc we were both having a hard time saying goodbye. So today when we talk I could tell he was getting annoyed and short and he told me he couldn’t stand me said that the things I said really hurt him. We continue our conversation after that. He tells me how he would take a time machine back to last wknd with me and especially if are locations could be closer so we both wouldn’t have to be hurt again. He also told me if he could at this point in his life he would move to where ever to be with me. So as we’re getting towards the end of our conversation talking ab how we felt and what not he tells me that all of his romantic feelings towards me have gone away? So tell me this we used the word love. Now I’ve never been with anybody else that used that word that acted like it just faded away so quickly. I told him that didn’t make sense. It really hurt me and I feel like he did it so that we could finally end things bc I didn’t really want to end them and I kept telling him that and that I had hope we could be together. It was like he did it so It would be over.

[Anonymous]

Yep it’s possible, it’s definitely not love but it’s something else (either a crush, infatuation or just lust). The fact the he said he loves you too quick into the relationship says it all, it was just infatuation - builds up quick and intense then it will fade away just as quick. With actual love, it’s gonna take time to slowly build up over time.

[crossdressingrihno]

Sounds like he understood that the two of you couldn't be together and after your conversation was finally ready to break things off completely. I think he might still like you but says he doesn't in hopes that it can make the break up permanent so that way neither of you have to deal with the BS that comes with a long distance relationship.

[crossdressingrihno]

In some ways I think he did the right thing.

[Asker]

So we talked again and that’s what he was doing. Because he told me he still had feelings for me and missed what we had.. my next question is so we ended things bc of how long we would have to do a long distance relationship bc of all the things we have going on in our life right now he said it would be really hard on him not being able to see me and having to say good bye to me. Which I felt the same way but I also feel like it could maybe work I don't know. Do you agree with him on that? Is it right person wrong timing or do you think if it was the right person they would find a way to make it work? I’m just asking bc we had a lot of feelings we both cried when we had to break things off

[crossdressingrihno]

He could totally be the right person. Also if you both want to remain together in a long distance relationship I can give you a few tips

[Asker]

Well I would be open to hearing them but I don't know that was his decision. We’ve already kinda been doing that we spent last wknd together and it was really hard to leave but that’s why he said he knew he wasn’t going to be able to do it for the amount of time we would have to. Bc he said leaving me last wknd was really hard on him he felt like he lost a piece of him….. but my thing is if you felt like that last wknd why would you end it then? I don't know I’ve never had this kinda breakup before so it’s confusing to me

[crossdressingrihno]

Are you able to move up there with him

[crossdressingrihno]

Actually a little over a month isn't long enough for you to move in with someone

[Asker]

Yeah I can’t do that haha I really appreciate your advice though

[crossdressingrihno]

Do you both video call?

[Asker]

Yes we’ve stopped that since we ended things though. We had to stop contact bc it was hard for both of us to do that. But yes we were FaceTiming every night. We would even go to sleep and leave FaceTime on and then we would wake up together and he’d leave me on there till he got to work.

[crossdressingrihno]

If your right for each other then it is unwise to cut contact

[Asker]

Well we cut contact on Thursday night today is the first day we haven’t actually spoke to each other. It was just really hard for both us. That’s why we did it we agreed it would be too hard

[Asker]

Honestly after talking to you I’m starting to think he’s scared. Bc he made the decision to end things but he told me while he was making his decision to he flip floppped back to not ending it like 3 times. He even did it one time the next day after ending things

[crossdressingrihno]

Well I hope you both work it out

[Asker]

Thanks I think pretty much at this point it’s up to him. So my last question do you think he sounds scared? I just don’t see how you can say no if even a part of you wants to say yes. You know?

[crossdressingrihno]

It's stressful when you can't be with the one you love sometimes it's just easier to let go than to hold on

[Asker]

Yeah I’m trying. He told me I was his first everything is the reason why I asked.

[Asker]

I guess I just try not to give up on a good thing

[crossdressingrihno]

I wish you both a fruitful relationship

[DoctorSex]

Usually when you observe someone for long enough, that sometimes happens. Reality rarely goes hand in hand with our expectations.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Asker]

I’m confused

[DoctorSex]

Apologies, I read your question but didn't go through your description.
Now I have, sounds like yet another traumatic episode in the realms of hookup culture. It's not that he didn't like you, but it was never going to work logically. He was being realistic about his situation, your situation and possible outcomes and he deduced that it would be less painful to end it now.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Guy13]

That is called Lust. This is not Love.

[Guy13]

You Lust for one another.

[Asker]

Why is it lust and not love?

[Guy13]

Lust lasts for about 3 days then empty until get next dose of Lust. Love is enduring and fulfilling in nature.

[Asker]

This had been going on for awhile… we both said that after spending last wknd together we said leaving each other was one of the hardest things either of us has ever had to do. And we both said we felt like we were missing a big piece of ourselves after we left

[Guy13]

Not according to your question. You forget him... lose lust after 3 days. Whatever... I hope it works out as you wish.