They say “Love is lovelier the second time around”? Have you gotten back with an ex? Why?

Question

Does this statement hold true or false? If you got back with an ex, was it better than the first time? Did it work out this time? Or was a waste of time?

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

So far, both of my first two.
I was eating a pizza with my future ex-fiance (she hadn't fucked me in 6 years and was just about to start cheating on me, if she hadn't already started) and when she finished eating, she decided to go back to her studies at home, walked out, caught a bus home about 3 miles away. I was still hungry so, I stayed and ate some more za. A few minutes later, Sally, my first ex (from 19 years prior), walks in, says she saw from Jenny Craig's across the street and decided to come chat me up once she was done. We hadn't seen each other in about 6 or 7 years so, we decided to sit and catch up. After at LEAST an hour of chatting, she decided it was time to go so, I walked her out to her car, we said goodbye, hugged and kissed and, the next thing we knew, we were playing tonsil hockey again!! After a few seconds of that and no points scored, she suddenly stopped, broke it off like it was all she could do to control herself, and decided we shouldn't get back into that again, got in her car and left.
About 18 years later, Carol, ex #2 decides she wants me to be her boyfriend! The first time we were like that, 35 years before, I didn't know it but, she was on the verge of another nervous breakdown!! Once it hit her full force, she went into a mental hospital for 6 months and, by the time she got out, she wasn't sure she wanted to BE my girlfriend anymore and wanted to go back to her ex-hubby, who had just left her for a VERY stupid reason, about 3 weeks after they got married!! That's part of what helped to propel her to her into next breakdown but, she seemed pretty normal to me the whole 3 weeks that we were together. Turns out, according to what she said 3 years ago, she had NO IDEA that we actually fucked several times back then and just did NOT remember it!! So, here it is, 35 years later and now, she WANTS to be my girlfriend! Fine with me. I gave it a shot but, as much as we REALLY TRIED to fuck, I just could NOT get into it (or her)! All I can think of is that it was probably just that I wasn't IN love with her, anymore!! I still loved her, like a VERY close friend but, I just wasn't IN love with her!! After a week or so of trying to make it work, she just decided that we should just break up and go back to being best friends, again. That lasted a few weeks until our lack of money got in the way and she got really pissed at me because of it and started making up bullshit (typical lefty democrat!!) and she left a really nasty message on my answering machine and I just decided, I'd had enough of her shit and refused to make friends with her or even talk to her again when she tried to apologize a day or so later so, NO, it's NOT better the second time around!!
I still haven't gotten back to Madame Ex #3 but, after SHE accused me of nasty shit I never did (on top of lying to me several times, stealing from me and cheating one me!!), I want nothing more to do with her, either!! I REALLY miss what he had, at least the first 4 years, but I'm NOT about to go back to what it eventually became and waste ANOTHER 5 to 10 years of my life with that worthless piece of shit!! Besides, she lives in Denmark, now so, I seriously doubt I'll ever see her again, especially since she has no idea where I live now and no one that can tell her!! So, FUCK HER!!
Of the 3 of them, Sally is about the only one I'd give another chance to! We just passed the 40th anniversary of the first time we fucked, 3 weeks ago!

anton_dee · Accepted Answer

I dunno who says it but I doubt it works out that way. Getting back together for sex may he ok but back into a romantic relationship will mostly lead to disaster... again...

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

Yeah, my second husband. I met him here.
we broke up for a year.
i learned about him, what happened to him through some of the questions he asked. Once we started talking again…we discussed some of the issues that was causing our differences… we worked through that and we are now married.
I think many have been “taught” to move on and possibly carrying on the same stuff (if they didn’t learn from) to the next person… that’s why relationships nowadays are crap. They just think, oh… the ex was bad. There are better ones out there. There are lots of people out there… but if one refuses learn, grow… it just repeats.

Wyldsparrow · Accepted Answer

I did a long time ago but it was so toxic. He was a narcissist and I an empath. I eventually left him and cut him out of my life for good... But it took me 4yrs to release myself from that misery.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Yes, I reunited with an ex after a 22 year break. We dated, lived together, got married in 2005, and divorced in 2007. She cheated on me.

dynamicyandere · Answer

I’ve only gotten back with 2 exes, and both times I regretted it afterward. Things didn’t work out. I don’t give second chances anymore if what they did was breakup-worthy. I broke up with them for a reason, and they did not change like they promised they did. “Everything will be different, I swear.” Is something I heard a lot and learned was a lie.

Exes who have done wrong to you need to accept the fact that some things just have permanent consequences, and some things can be lost forever. It’s a hard truth they need to accept. And, a hard truth I needed to except is that even if they truly did change for the better, I won’t be the one to experience it, because to truly change they must let me go and focus on working on themselves.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

There are two I'd be willing to give a second chance. Circumstances weren't fair to either of us the first time around, and she chickened out. I'd like to think either would be bolder next time. But for now, it's wishful thinking. I still occasionally check on Facebook or Instagram for life updates, but I don't see much chance to get them back. Mostly, I'm just glad to know they're okay. I still cherish them, even if I can't *have* them. I hope they understand this.

There are others that I would never give another chance. A woman who has crossed that many bridges into forbidden territory, is likely only to return with an invading army. She is less to be trusted than a swarm of locusts!

petitedollbabee · Answer

I’ve gotten back with an ex once. I lost my virginity to him and we only dated for a month because I was too immature for a relationship. A couple years went by and I matured, so I persued him again because I felt I never gave him a real chance the first time. We ended up dating for 3 years the second time around. First 2 years were good but the 3rd year didn’t go well and the relationship ended horribly. We stayed in contact for a few months after breaking up before going our separate ways.

I usually refuse to go back to an ex. They’re an ex for a reason. But he was an exception since we broke up the first time because of my own fault, rather than my other past relationships that have failed due to the other person screwing up.

melanieeeB · Answer

I don't know if it's true.
I did get back with only one person and our "relationship" didn't get better but we as individuals still grew closer in some way.
Like I would never ever go back to him again, it's already over for good since 4 years, but he is honestly still as a person my favorite past man.
I really wish him all the best and I'm so thankful that I met him.

libsaretards · Answer

I have never returned to an ex. Granted, I have only ever been in 2 relationships. Well 2 serious ones at least. My first ex I would possibly give another chance to. She was my first true love and it was lies from her stepdad coupled with bad luck on my end that ended the relationship. I would hope she is mature enough to not be so beholden to her stepdad. However, the odds of getting back with her are below zero. I did not react in a mature way when handling the breakup. Also, she lives on the West Coast and I do not want to leave Tennessee.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I did, with my first love. I really thought she was the one and went back repeatedly thinking things would change; thinking SHE would change. It was I that needed to change. I needed to change my understanding of what a healthy and happy loving relationship was, what i had to offer compared to what i needed to get out of it. I also had to change how i felt about myself. Once i knew my worth, i stopped wasting time with women who didn’t.

qwert1234 · Answer

It can be true or false, depending on the person.

I've seen people got back together and were successful then.

I've seen people get disgusted when the topic of getting back together is raised.

I think it depends on several factors - like the matter of separation, the attitude towards each other.

If I will be asked, out of 4 ex's, I would only try to make things work with one of them.

Becky316 · Answer

My husband, we dated in high school but broke up when I went to college. When covid happened and college stopped, I came back home. I was able to find him and we started talking about things, we had already dated for years. We dated and managed to get married and have been happy ever since.

Gent207 · Answer

I have given every ex I ever had a second or even a 6th chance... it never worked out.

You see I failed to take into account that a broken heart can never be whole again. Men and women don't just get over the nights of crying and wondering "why they weren't good enough?" But when given a second chance it's expected that they act like it never even happened. So the end result is worse than the first especially if nothing was ever learned from the break-up.

Which is why I don't believe in divorce. Hence the only way I'm leaving is in a bodybag nothing more and nothing less with the exception of her expressed wish. Then I disappear forever like I never even happened the good and the bad.

Crafteroon · Answer

It really depends on the circumstances of the first time around. I think it can only work if the original break-up happened due to external reasons, like going to school or work in a different region and relationship not being ready for a jump to move in together.

If the relationship ended because of personal reasons, disagreements or cheating, it's not worth it. You might have the hindsight of knowing what not to do, but it's still a landmine just waiting to be stepped on.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I did, with one, but we lived too far apart to make it work.
Neither one of could move.
I almost did with 1 other ex girlfriend, I though about it long and hard, I've always wondered what would have happened. My exwife and I are friends now, no sex.

sheikalana · Answer

I did in the past but I have to disagree with that statement. In my opinion when you get back together after a break up I think is so hard to go back to the same place your relationship was in the past. For some people it works but I know it takes a lot of effort.

macjets007 · Answer

Yes, and it is better the 2nd time because things have progressed.

Something was an issue, that is now not in the picture. Otherwise, one of the two exes wouldn't consider it.

If you just miss the person, it's settling for being comfortable. That works but is not what you want. You should want to find the best person that you deserve!

I would rather find someone else, but in many cases it works!

NorskLøve · Answer

I think It would be really nice and a lot of big words and hot and crazy in the start.. but it's a really big change that in just a short time tings fall back in old ways and pretty soon it's not gonna work out.. But who am I to say, maybe it works out.. Just be careful and go slow.

Pegases · Answer

I have a rule that I never go back to exes if it ended badly. However, I broke this rule once, and it was the worst mistake of my life. I believe exes should always remain exes.

DermalPunch · Answer

Generally it isn't because people just go back to the same framework and dynamic. If the reunion is underscored by new boundaries, apologies and remorse then it can be a success.

Backwoodsbaby · Answer

My ex came to me wanting to start over he was my first love in middle school depend on things people grow up so I definitely need more questions before I give more answers

Marshymallow · Answer

No I’ve never gotten back with an ex so I’m not sure. However, I can say this. Why go back to something you left? I doubt it’d make it lovelier lol

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Always a waste of time. However its always fun to fuck exs. I actually prefer to revist because we have chemistry connection history. Essentially all my exgfs have come back for sex at least so I've gotten to do it quite a few times.

Annoymous15 · Answer

Am actually doing that now but it not d second time again I think the fourth time I will be having him back all in the name of I love u nd can't do without you wit some garnished sweet words and I think av just wasted my precious time😢

Rebecka33 · Answer

No I mean they tried but once ethe love is gon me it's gone doesn't mean I don't stil care about them.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

i have not gotten back with an ex. but i have maintained friendships with my exes. i do not regret any time I've spent with these women. i do regret what was not to be but i can accept it.

AviatorTom · Answer

Never got back together with an Ex... that's why they're called "Ex".

Vnsyu · Answer

No. Bumalik ka nga pero manloloko at mapanakit parin. Wag na marupok Mamsh. (ft. hard feelings 😅)

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Tried it once but didn't feel the same sense I knew her ways of lying but shouldn't of believe her that she changed

Guardian45 · Answer

I am only guessing, but I imagine two people learn from their mistakes and correct them the second time round.

Shadow_Monarch · Answer

It happened once. It wasn't better than the first time.

dudeinohio · Answer

Waste of time. Same issues that caused the breakup will still. be there.

baserunner611 · Answer

No, in you remember yell it didn't work in the first place

NightmareWasOpen · Answer

depends on how crappy of a person they were tbh

Zolly99999 · Answer

Nope... They all cheated on me.. I'm not going back to that

marvis6 · Answer

Depends on the situation

spartan55 · Answer

Does just having sex with an ex count?

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap, I love him and we never ended on bad terms

RavVid · Answer

No. Each time was irrevocable.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

It might be with a new person no?

Andres77 · Answer

Only for sex, once.

nawtee_me · Answer

nope and not going to either...

TotallyAlmost · Answer

The crawlback never works out.

AFretiredTXn · Answer

More experience.

They say “Love is lovelier the second time around”? Have you gotten back with an ex? Why?

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