Does your first love ever come back after a really bad break up?

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex were pretty much fighting everyday and I didn't want to lose him right there and then from our stupid little fights so I thought it would been best if we took a break for a little bit and get back on the perfect track of a relationship that we once had in the beginning. So then we did and after we broke up he was still living with me and we would pretty much be acting like we were still dating and sh*t and we were happy again and we fell for each other even harder until I went to ask him back out on Valentine's day of this year (2011) and found out he had girl. Me and my ex had our ups and downs, I did pretty bogus things to him and he did me bogus as well, and now he's saying that he wants to move on but he still loves me and he still misses me, but he's never wants to look at me at school and he never wants to hang out as friends even though he says that we can still be cool with each other like friends wise, and I said okay and ask him if he will ever come back and he said eventually..what does that mean? and for the past two months and doesn't even want to talk to me or still don't want to hang out, what is up with that? like I'm so confused, he's says he still loves me and he misses me and all this and some of his things are still at my house and I always tell him like when are you coming to get the rest of your things and he always tells me just hold onto it for me! like I just don't get it. he's my first love and I'm his first love and all I want to do is work things out and show him and let him no that I'm not that girl that I once was, all this sh*t as changed me into a better person, I love this kid so much where I would die for him to have him back into my arms again but I don't no how he truly feels. And I'm just not ready to move on yet, I'm too scared to.What should I do to get him back again and work things out?

-Please help me anyone! I need the best support as I possibly can-

[vice-chix1]

I thought I would "weigh in" on this question -- given that my first love and I reconnected after a pretty harsh breakup. However, the reconciliation has been quite difficult -- and his patience to makeup for the past has been what has gotten us through.

My first love and I met while I was a freshman at Uni - he was a 2nd year Master's student at the time. We dated for 6 months - I fell in love - and after an incredible night together - he literally disappeared and dropped off the face of the earth (truth). I was devestated - because he had left for China to teach for the summer and then begin his career in a different city.

We had lost touch for 10 years. During this time I got married to someone (we met 3 weeks after my first love disappeared)... and it ended in divorce after dating 9 years (married 4 of them).

Shortly after my divorce - our paths crossed on Facebook. And we had a "pen pal" sort of friendship for 2 years as his career had taken him to the opposite end of the country. After two years we met up for brunch when he had visited my city once over Xmas -- and all the emotions from our breakup caming roaring back - as well as the love. And I had no choice but to tell him I was still in love with him. At the time he was "seeing someone" and it was very difficult for me to remain friends as I wanted him to have the space he needed to love someone. I didn't want to interfere so we stopped talking for about 6 months. It was honestly the toughest 6 months of my life.

After about 6 months -- he emailed me out of the blue - and told me he had broken up with his girlfriend that he was moving across country to a city near mine in less than a month and he hoped we could have dinner.

Since that night we dated long distance for a year and a half after he moved to about 4 hours away (which was a lot closer than the other side of the country). I closed the distance gap after 6 months and moved to his city. We have been now dating a year and a half.

So it is possible - to reconnect - but in all honesty - our past issues of him just up and "disappearing" is something we grapple with everyday. He is patient and understanding and believe you me - we didn't get here without tears from both sides.

But I have now never been happier -- dreams can come true :)

[Anonymous]

It genuinely sounds like he does want to move on, but he's really scared to do so. It seems like he's keeping you as a security check so if he doesn't succeed in moving on he will be comftorable in knowing you're still there. As a gril with a lot of dignity and pride, I would honestely tell you to move on unless you want to be seen as desperate or even as a back up plan.

But in answering your question, some first loves do come back. My first love of a year and a half came back recently after two years of being separated and while I was going through a sour breakup.I consider myself lucky because he appeared to me one day out of the blue and told me he's always loved me and has wanted me back for the past two years.

Sometimes people are meant to be but the.timing is off. What I believe is that if you were meant to be with someone you will be together at the end. I think you should move on and take sometime to find peace within yourself. Maybe one day he will comeback, just do yourself a favor and don't beg for any guy. You're much more worth than that.

[Anonymous]

oh god, he is keeping you in his life whilst he is figuring out what to do in his life, your sittin there waiting for him whilst he's moving on running around with other girls, lisn he probly does love you but if he loved you as much as he claims to then wouldn't he be spending time trying to work through the realtionship with you, he likes spending time with you, but he also wants the free life from what I'm reading .you need to move on with your life, make it clear that your going to start dating other people as your are looking for committment, if he is looking for committment he knows what to do and where to find out, live your life cause it sounds like he is moving on and living his.

[gummybear888]

he did for the wrong reasons . I have to say though rarely does a guy go back for the right reasons. and I knew this particular guy had slept with a slew of other girls and then he contacted me while he was drunk. which was a total turn off.

so my advice is, be careful, learn where he's been and what he's been up to before you jump on that bandwagon.

[Saggydaqueen]

Show him how it feels to be left and get played with start dating some else and continue to be friend with your ex then you will see the real him

[Anonymous]

yes if he loves you he will come back but if he doesn't then there means there is someone else out there for you

[Anonymous]

according to me if he loves you he would be back to you otherwise ..take positive side of it.. that he doesn't care about you