Have you ever gotten back together with your first love?

So lately, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my first love, my ex girlfriend from high school. We dated our last 2 years of high school and broke up over a year ago. Since then she's dated a couple guys and is currently involved with a guy who makes her very happy. We're still good friends, go to the same college, live in the same building, but at times, it makes things worse for me because I'm still very much in love with her, not for lack of trying to move on or finding someone new but because she's a truly special girl. She dated other guys before me, but she was my first and only real girlfriend. She asked me out junior year because she'd had a crush on me since freshmen year. I said yes and before long we had fallen deeply in love with each other. Even though we were teenagers in a typical high school relationship, it felt much more special and real, like we could have a real future together. We broke up before the end of our senior year because I was depressed and she didn't trust me, but we remained friends and are still. I've moved on for the most part, but I still think of her often, and wonder if we could ever be together again someday. Has anyone else ever gotten back together with your first love?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, twice.

    I don't think this is the best example to follow though.

    We were together for almost 3 years. We had our ups and downs like everyone else, but our relationship eroded over time because I let work/university stress me out. I grew cold, and I took him for granted. Things got to the point I broke up with him just to be able to concentrate some more.

    When I realized what I had done, I couldn't bear it. He was the most loving boyfriend I could imagine. He had always put me first before him. He was literally the only person who had always stood up for me and been there whenever I needed him, and I had ditched him just like that. I was a bitch.

    As days passed, my mistake hurt more and more. Who cares how well you're doing at school when you hurt someone so much and ended up alone for it? Was it worth it?

    We kept in touch, but things didn't move. I went out on a weekend to distract myself.. only to run into him. After hesitating a bit, he hugged me, and I couldn't take it anymore. I asked him out so we could talk. He accepted, but after my apology he didn't take me back. He was still hurting after all. However, we kept in touch and in the end, after some weeks, he took me back.

    After that, we were OK for a year. I knew better now than to give too much importance to stupid stuff.

    However..he started drinking.

    He didn't drink by himself, but peer pressure got him. Sometimes he wouldn't remember what he did last night. Others..he would get violent with his friends. Once, he accepted somebody's drugs and hurt himself in its effects.

    After some time, I got scared. I talked to him. He agreed he'd stop it, but he didn't. He grew cold as well.

    Then he went to a festival with his friends. This festival is known for being a messy alcohol fest. I was upset..but he promised he'd behave. FF to 3am.. and he drunk calls me. He had punched his friends. He didn't remember sh*t. He had lost a shoe.

    I really loved him, but I couldn't stand it. We broke up again. It was difficult, but I learned to cope with it.

    Eventually, a guy asked me out. I didn't really feel like dating, but I needed the distraction and he seemed nice so I accept...only to run into my ex. Again. He was with some girl from his class. We greeted each other and went back to our respective tables. It was... weird.

    As time passed, I really got into the new guy. He was sweet and we had much in common. My ex got in touch. He really wanted to get back together. However, I wasn't ready for that.

    Eventually, things didn't work with the new guy. My ex asked me back again. I turned him down as I didn't feel like dating for a while. We kept in touch though. After some time, I learned he had quit drinking and started working on the problems he had. That really moved me, and in the end I gave him a chance just like he had given me one before.

    Things have been fine so far, and I hope we've both learned our lessons. It's better to solve things together and not just walk away!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Sounds very similar to my situation, I too had a great relationship with my first love with equal bits of ups and downs but I let the stress of work/school/my parents get the best of me. I broke up with her because it was just getting more and more stressful, even though I did love her. But I really didn't know how much I loved her until she was gone, and since me she's been with 4 guys so she's obviously over me right? I only hope by remaining her friend she'll realize how much I care for her

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah we were on and off for about six months after ward until I decided it hurt too much and I let him go forever. But if she is very happy with who she's with not, don't mess that up. Wait till she's single.

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  • I think about my first love all of the time, but as he was at the time when I was in love with him. Thing is, nobody is the same after a few years. I always run into a particular ex who is so different now there's no way I could imagine being with him now. Good looking guy, smart nice but just weirdly inexplicably different from the person I fell in love with.

    I'm sure she thinks about you all of the time. There could be something there, I'd ask her out and see what happens.

    Also all of you guys in college need to learn how to give women orgasms. Pick up a book on how to do this, or get a hooker and get some sort of demonstration. You'll be a lot more confident when you go to pick up chicks.

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    • People do change over time, I'm learning that with my ex. She's changed in a lot of ways, some good some bad. For example, a big issue in our relationship was how I liked smoking weed but she would get pissed at me for it, but now she smokes weed with her new boyfriend every day lol. As for the orgasm thing, I was actually able to give her orgasms. It took a lot of practice but eventually we made it happen and she claimed it was her first real orgasm. Id love to believe she hasn't had one since but...

What Guys Said 6

  • I think of her a lot, and we've been together once after we broke up. It ended the same way as before. She's getting married now, and we don't talk anymore.

    I could say I still love her, but after the last 6 years, I try to not think about it so much. I'm honestly not going to lie, I'm still pretty in love with her, but... yea... :/

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  • Nah that was over a decade ago. I barely even remember what she looks like to be honest. I haven't had any contact with her since I graduated high school in 2006.

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  • yes . I just got back with her last month after a 2 year break up.its funny .you really don't know what you have until its gone.

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  • No, my first love is happily married with kids. If she weren't married, then probably yes.

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  • I think about my first love daily, but I wouldn't push her out of the way of an oncoming train.

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  • Yes I did once.

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